Yo Yo Yo HIV and Other Tales

Woke up in a panic.  The thing growing in me.  That thing.  Must get it removed.  Have to get it removed but can’t move until everything is sorted.

Too much to sort out before I get there.

Manhunt Date number 9.  A 28-year-old Kuwaiti doing a PhD in architecture at UCLA.  He drove from Brentwood in the thick fog arrived at 10.30 was gone by midnight.  What do people think they are when they describe themselves as masculine?   What in heaven’s name does it mean?  Needless to say this was a huge queen under the thinnest veneer of ‘straight acting’.

The last ten minutes of the ‘date’ he was looking at his kindle and I was staring into the fire willing him to leave.

He left.

Poor lamb, driving up my foggy wet mountain in the pitch black only to be sent home because he didn’t meet my exacting standards.  He asked me about my past relationships.  Of course I told him the Jake saga but as I told him I thought..why am I telling you this?  Not even I am convinced by this story.

One interesting note, when JB was kicked out of his apartment by his long-term gf for being a lying, sociopathic, cheater Jake’s ex-gf  told him he had to pay his part of the rent until the lease expired..I think it expires this November from what I can remember…anyway.  When I told the Kuwaiti that he had been thrown out and had to live with his parents in Westchester the Kuwaiti was outraged that the gf had demanded half the rent.

The gays never get that bit of the story..why he couldn’t just walk away without paying her anything.  They never get the commitment/contract part of a relationship.  They squeal, as did the Kuwaiti, “Why should he continue paying his part of the rent in an apartment that he didn’t live in?”

When Jake complained to Pal the artist he was fucking with (allegedly) HIV behind the gf’s back about the rent issue…(Jake told me that he only found out after they stopped fucking that Pal was HIV positive..but I doubt it.  Pal doesn’t look like the kind of man who would keep quiet about his HIV positive status knowing that Jake was in a sexual relationship with a woman?  No, he looks like a responsible kind of guy.)


Pal, allegedly, told Jake to stop paying the rent and cut JA out…like a cancer.  This was a woman who had cancer scares ALL THE TIME!

Thankfully Jake did the right thing…he continued paying his part of the rent and the electricity bill despite casting himself as the victim to me and his gay friends.  He was so pissed when he got kicked out of the house…because it meant that he had to live with his parents.

He might have to behave responsibly.  Of course the moment he moved in he just did what he always did, acting out with drugs, alcohol and online hook ups.  But with the added advantage of having parents who would now co-sign his bullshit.

What a fucking moaner!  Unable to see his part in anything.  Complaining about his sister Emily’s wedding and the part he had to play in it.  Complaining about going to Cape Cod.  Complaining that he didn’t live in the East Village anymore.

You should have told the fucking truth!  How about that as a radical idea?

Weinstein pay him $7k to rewrite/line edit scripts for them.  He did three of them the fortnight before we left for Paris and he was still loathed to put his hand in his pocket to buy anything.  The day we drove all day to Cannes he bought me a Mars Bar.    I drove all day and he bought me a lousy MARS BAR?  And you are wondering why I am taking him to small claims court?  The day we drove from Sanary Sur Mer I packed the car with inexpensive and delicious food.

The first time I told him definitively that we should break off our relationship was when I realised that he was drinking and driving.  He would get totally DRUNK in NYC then take the train all the way to Katonah then drive to his parents house..drunk as a skunk…then call me moaning or crying about how TERRIBLE his life was…or text me from the train because he was lonely and I would (foolish me) always be there for him..because as he mocked in one of his last emails…”you find me irresistable…admit it.”

I did.  I found him irresistible.

Jake lived on the filthy underbelly of life because he chose to.

BTW art lovers!  Do look at Pal’s fantastic paintings…they are fucking GORGEOUS…if you are decorating a hospital.  He’s a handsome man.  Pity that he fell into Jake’s ‘straight boy honey pot’.  I wonder if he really did lie about his HIV status as Jake claimed.  Jake lied about everything.

If I were her I would sue that piece of lying shit.

My producer comes today to shape the treatment.   My friend RF tried to visit yesterday but blew a tire on the way up here.  I drove down the hill to find him forlornly at the edge of the road.  I had a long chat with Sharon about film funding.  Things seem to be picking up.   I worked more on the script and loved it.

I ate two bowls of corn flakes and felt tired in my bones.

My heart has been broken and rather than cry gently to myself I am so fucking angry.

That entitled prick has got away with murder and I am daily incensed by how he treated me and others.   Even 6 months after he came out he was still regretting his decision.  He would have been perfectly happy to stay in his vampiric relationship with her whilst he fucked men on the side.  That was a choice!  He knew exactly what he was doing and used her.  Don’t you dare lecture me about collateral damage!  I didn’t cause this mess.

JB is a reptile.

8 replies on “Yo Yo Yo HIV and Other Tales”

Honestly Duncan. Just read your last post, and am sitting here thinking to myself ‘Why the hell does this perfectly nice guy DO this to himself’. Theory: If you’re brought up eating beans on toast in a council flat, then probably your gut is geared to beans on toast for the rest of your life. You can’t do anything about it. Same goes for ‘relationships’. The trouble starts when you disdain your background and start sucking up or just sucking people whose guts have been trained in a completely different manner. Why do you do this? You’re clearly intelligent and the best part is that you are addicted to honesty, but then – off you go ! – creating totally unnecessary shit for yourself with pea-brained Americans! For Christ’s sake… get a grip. You and I could have had a perfectly lovely life together – exiting, creative, amusing…. but NO! You just don’t see it… and the next thing is you end up in threadbare California – predictably miserable, confused…. Oh God! I give up….

“pea-brained Americans”, “threadbare California”. Really, the whole state?

Andrew, sounds like you know about feeling vengeful towards an ex.

“Last week Gibbon-Williams said: “I thought it important to point out to people connected with Pallant House what van Raay may have been up to under the cover of the outreach programme. I think my ex- partner’s friendship with this person represents an outreach too far.”

But van Raay believes his former companion is motivated by “revenge” and denies it was linked to the outreach programme — by which Pallant House uses some of its funds to help disabled people, prisoners and asylum seekers.”

Duncan – Indeed you sound stuck and still stunned by the casual, thoughtless, selfish evil that man is capable of perpetrating. Don’t blame you and will pray for Divine Intervention to help you get unstuck. Meanwhile, your health. Please do seek treatment even if everything is not yet “sorted out”. I agree with Andrew that in terms of relationships, California is certainly threadbare and forgive him for the term “pea-brained Americans”.

You are doing the right thing for you. If it means to get him out of your head by expressing your anger. Well done. You are the only one who feels the pain. We all are different, although we might share the same feelings towards certain subjects, but we arenot all alike. We can never measure the pain of a heartbreak. Some of us are more sensisitive, and some of us move on faster.
I enjoy reading your life, thanks for sharing.

I dated someone who is/was semi-famous in the town I live in. He was a liar (married), cheating (with my best friend), and user (borrowed tons of money). He made small payments but when I got married years later he quit paying. He wanted to give me away at my wedding, like I was his fucking property and when I said no he refused to pay. I took him to small claims. I won. He appealed saying he was broke but I had proof he was paid under the table and he admitted it to the judge so I won again. I had to hire a PI to do bank liens and put liens on his wages only the IRS got to him first.

Then my home was broken into. My cat had all his front teeth knocked out and was missing for days. Sentimental things were stolen. He bragged about it on his blog by saying he was tired of me accusing him of BS he didn’t do yet I hadn’t told anyone but the cops when he made said post. I filed for restraining order as the cops told me to do. He got a lawyer and a couple of his friends and they all filed for restraining orders against me. I had to get a lawyer. The judge didn’t want to hear “this high school drama” and neither did I. I didn’t ask friends to come to court, lord no but the ex brought a fan club. After 8 hours of listening to them spin crazy stories about me that could make a good soap opera the judge gave me my restraining order. She refused his. Oddly enough she granted two to his friends because I called them assholes but she also gave me restraining orders against them.

The ex is a performer. He moved up here where I live. He agreed to perform for free at all my old haunts and had me black listed. He lies to everyone and says that when I sued him I was making him pay me back for gifts. If I would have done that small claims wouldn’t have worked. I have emails where he thanks me for the loans. No one bothers to read those. It’s been years now and I still can’t go out places without his friends and groupies making it so horrible for me that it is just easier to stay home.

why am I telling all of you this? Because Duncan darling I thought if I just got my money that would be the end of it, just like you are saying here. The thing is that when you hit people like that in the wallet they go batshit crazy. I had no idea my ex could afford a lawyer. I had no idea he could get his ex-wife who he claimed was a psycho who tried to kill him to take ME to court on his behalf. I had no idea he had it in him to hurt an animal but he did because that animal was mine.

I want you to really think if Jake will do this. Will Jake’s “friends” do this on his behalf. Is the amount of money small claims will provide you worth it? My ex wanted to be famous more than anything in the world but when I got a letter from one of those Judge shows asking us to be on and them saying if I won they’d pay the whole thing off to me he refused. I thought for sure his ego would go but he said “I don’t want to go on tv so everyone can see I’m a deadbeat.”

So his groupies had a fundraiser to get the money he owed me because he lied and told them I garnished his wages. I didn’t b/c like I said the IRS beat me to it. But they sent me a fraction of what he owed me and then wanted me to feel guilty. He makes tons of money but lies about it and he had poor people sending in their last dollar to pay his debt to me. It made me sick. I actually needed the money back though.

So I got my money. I was socially murdered in the process. I lost my favorite hangouts. I lost friends. I lost hobbies. I had no idea so many people would believe his lies. I’ve often wanted to make a blog and post all his emails and all his letters with all his lies but you see people who believe him wouldn’t bother to read it.

Was it worth it? I ask myself that everyday. When you have your money will you be asking yourself that?

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