The definite seasons on the east coast. The passing days, changing. Slowly.
Each day has a brand new identity. New light. Color.
The bland, endless Los Angeles summer has finally come to an end. After 8 long years. I am heading home.
I pull on my knee-length, woolen socks and my heavy boots.
I am going to therapy… daily. I am finally addressing the issues I have been ignoring this past year. You know, those pesky medical issues.
Strangely, without warning… even though we share the same streets. I never see him. Nor do I wish to conjure him, manifest him, make him appear… I had lunch with one of his co-workers the other day, a youngster (we met at an AA meeting) who wanted his job.
It was funny being at the same table as someone who works in close proximity to him. Their opinion.
They knew the story. An urban myth that they delighted in fact checking.
Of course there’s loads going on (Film/House/Social) but somehow I don’t have the energy to write it.
I take pictures and let that suffice.
I found a picture of Joe. He’s obsessively going to the gym. A man mountain. In his late 60’s now.
I scarcely ever think about him. Isn’t that odd? To have no thoughts about someone who was once the center of your world.
In the separate but equal ‘gay voice’ section of the Huffington Post yesterday there was another ‘outraged’ homo article about the Pentagon censuring LGBT web sites like Towelroad but not ‘hate speak’ web sites Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter.
The Pentagon, like many large companies that control internet access, have deemed that LGBT sites are mostly inappropriate for work place viewing.
Why? The gays scream. Why do you censor us and not Rush Limbaugh?
A quick comparison.
Rush and Anne, although not my personal cup of tea, do not illustrate their ‘hate speak’ web sites with images of copulating straight people.
In hetero land hard core pornographic images are rightly limited to porn sites.
In homo land we are subjected to random pornographic illustrations (or advertising) on sites purportedly aimed at debating current queer affairs. Images that I would not want to share with my co-workers.
Today, in the reputable queer news site Towelroad, well written articles about Bradley Manning run along side a pornographically illustrated story about the death of a gay porn star.
Interestingly, the porn star died of HIV related complications.
Something that supposedly doesn’t happen any more.
Even though every recent statistic sadly proves that HIV is on the meteoric rise in the bare back obsessed gay community… to say so out loud is deemed homophobic/selfloathing.
As for hate speak? Have any of you read the hate filled rhetoric on most homo web sites… aimed mostly at other gay men?
As I have written many times: queer men willingly take up the cudgels to beat and bully fellow queers where their supposed hetero persecutors dropped them.
BTW Gays… a differing opinion is not hate speak.
The separate but equal ‘gay voice’ section of The Huffington Post is filled with either outraged queens claiming homophobia or cooing doves describing a gay kiss on net work TV.
A reflection on the vapid, with us or agin us culture so many of you subscribe to.
As usual we refuse to look at our part in the problem. We claim: They are doing it to us. They are to blame. We are blameless. We do not deserve scrutiny or self-examination.
The Elmo guy is not a pedophile. He’s a persecuted, misunderstood gay man hounded by the straight media.
In the separate but equal ‘gay voice’ section of the Huffington Post there is a story about an angry ex ‘gay for pay’ porn star who claims that the devil comes out of his ass.
Why? Why is this story about straight insanity in the ‘gay voice’ section? Surely it should be on the ‘crazy white hetero’ page along with all those crazy white, straight mass murderers.
By the way, I’ve never understood why it isn’t ok to be ‘separate but equal’, sometimes it’s just easier.
Like being a Hasidic Jew, I want to be separate so I can get on with my business and enjoy my culture without prying eyes.
Of course I need to be equal, however, so I don’t live in resentment.
As a charming postscript I wanted you to know that after my ‘i am not gay piece’ the other day, the gay and lesbian Legacy Project contacted me and as a result my films will not be burned by jack booted gay men… but all of my queer themed films will now be archived (with pride) at The Legacy Project.
As for the film I am currently making? Let me tell you. We have come a long way in 20 years. A very long way.
When a black straight producer wants to make your white queer film… that’s what I’m talking about.