Categories
Rant

Rex Weyler

Greenpeace demonstrating against Esso. March, ...
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Dinner with Jason, Jennifer, Hilary and Rex Weyler.

What an incredible man!

I will let you discover who he is and what he does.

Discussed his film…the film he wants to make with Viggo Mortensen about the creation of and how he co-founded Greenpeace.

We discussed potential directors and (rather unusually) how much a film like this might cost.  Can one really justify spending 50 million dollars on a film?  Really?

Naturally we discussed Egypt and how when the people speak governments are forced to take notice.  We congratulated Julian Assange.  We mourned the dead in Bahrain.  We wondered about Israel.

The demonstrations in Madison Wisconsin are particularly heartening as are the angry British protestors who are presently targeting Barclay’s bank over claims of tax avoidance.

Is this Glenn Beck’s ‘coming insurrection’?  Let’s hope so.

Ultimately the question one has to ask ones self is:  Am I prepared to take a bullet for what I believe?

I told him that I knew people who were oblivious of what was going on in Egypt.  In fact more than half of all Americans were not aware of what was happening in Egypt.

Why are people not more inquisitive?

Categories
Uncategorized

Don’t Worry

Things are fine.

Much to think about and plan but everything is just how it is meant to be in God’s perfect world.

I have been writing our film.  It’s hard writing again after so long not writing.  Or rather, it’s hard to write a script after so much blogging.

Not much to report.

No intrigue.

Still sober.

I found this huge heart-shaped fruit in the garden.  It is called a cherimoya.

Usually they are tiny.

 

 

Categories
Malibu

Fuck Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s day?  Who needs it?  A legitimate fuck you I think.  Even though I have had a few lovely Valentine’s wishes.

It is always nice when people think about you fondly I suppose.

Who needs to be in love?   Sending expensive flowers and cards to men who will let you down and break your heart?

Broken heart/Broken truck.

Yesterday, due to the broken truck, I stayed at home all day.  Another neighbour stopped in with his huge poodle who, within minutes of arriving, pissed on the sofa.  Urg.

The truck will take less time than it took to mend my diseased heart.  Hopefully.

CP stopped in for lunch on his way to airport.  Thankfully he didn’t piss on the sofa.  I am going to miss him.  A lot.  Large parts of my brain that usually go unused were reignited whilst he was here.  Like an old boiler.

My friend Jody arrived at our behest in the afternoon with his two small children.  15 month old twins.   They were very inquisitive and active.  It was an eye-opening experience to see this older gay man struggle with two very high-spirited infants.

He didn’t know any straight people.  He said.

I hid the glass Jesus that kids are inexplicably drawn to.  One of the kids stabbed the TV remote into the dogs food.  They climbed the stairs.  Though agile they were both oddly silent.

The little dog doesn’t really appreciate little kids so I had to keep him in my bedroom whilst they were running around the house.

More about this later.

Spent Sunday night preparing for this week which may turn out to be very busy.  I see a flight back to NYC/London in my immediate future.

There is a great deal of happiness and opportunity to be grateful for at the moment.

Categories
Malibu

Trapped!

Delightful day yesterday.  Did not go to therapy.  Did not worry about anything.  Walked the dog.

I know that I have said this a million times but when the sea glitters there is nothing better that sitting quietly and gazing down at the Pacific.  Awesome!  Better than therapy.

Lunch at Geoffrey’s with friends, English friends.  CP’s friends.  British director in town to direct a studio movie and his wife.  Lively, intelligent conversation.  The wife was very funny…especially when describing her ex-nanny.

Ate crab cakes (poor), salad nicoise (forgettable).   The food at Geoffrey’s is really not very good but the view is wonderful.  They charged us per Arnold Palmer (iced tea and lemonade) and diet coke rather than giving us free refills which is de rigueur in So Cal.

After lunch, they collected their children from the nanny and we drove back to the house.   Their kids (7 and 18 months) were delightful.  Whilst I made a big pot of tea they picked tangerines and lemons from the trees.  I showed the kids the video Anna shot the day I killed the rattle snake in the garden.  The seven-year old was entranced by the snake…of course.  He then wanted to see what a flesh-eating ant looked like….and a cicada.  So, we sat on Google until he found what he was looking for.

Dinner in Brentwood with Jody.  He has two infants who he is bringing up single-handedly.   We ate at A Votre Sante in Brentwood which was DISGUSTING and cost $25.  I can think of better ways of spending money.

I am meant to be seeing Jody again today but…

The car started making a rattling noise on the way home and this morning it stopped completely.  Trapped!  Thankfully CP is on his way over to hang out and have lunch and tie up loose ends.  He leaves later today.

My return East is imminent.  Much to do before I leave.

By the way…I have a new neighbour.  A Swami called Shantanand Saraswanti.  He looks just like you imagine an Indian mystic might look.  Big hair, big beard etc.  He dropped by yesterday and, after asking if I would like to be ‘acquainted’ with him, handed me a pamphlet called Confusion and Clarity.  What does he know? (!)   I’ll read it later.

There is a huge storm heading this way and should make landfall on Wednesday.

Categories
Uncategorized

Friday Night Fight

[wpvideo CPx6Ci09]

Categories
Hollywood

Working Title

Friday morning.  Another fucking gorgeous day in Malibu.  The Sea! The Sea!

“The Sea! The Sea!” Thalatta! Thalatta! was the shout of joy when the roaming 10,000 Greeks saw Euxeinos Pontos (the Black Sea) from Mount Theches (Θήχης) in Armenia in the year 401.

The Egyptian people are free!  I couldn’t help myself from crying with joy.

My favourite Egyptian quote of the day, “I am a free man!  Thankyou Facebook!”

Yesterday was one of those packed days of meetings that I have not had for many years in Hollywood.

A Hollywood day.

Meetings, coffee, driving, meetings (agents, manager, lawyers, casting agents)…and a passion that has eluded me for years.  Finding oneself in strange offices, department stores and hotels with one aim: to tell the story.

My investment in this city finally paying off.

When things get the most interesting I am least interested in writing about it.

All I can tell you:  I am doing what I am meant to be doing and not living in the half-light.  What more can I say?

It was EXHAUSTING.

By the time I arrived at the house it was well past 11 and I flopped into bed and fell into a deep sleep.   Content.  Woke at 6am as usual…bright as a button.  Doing something I never usually do..I am jigging around the house listening to very loud, very happy, very HAPPY LOUD…music.

PS  Am I missing sex, pornography and the like?  No!  I have Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Covered Caramels!

Categories
art Fantasy Film Health Hollywood Los Angeles

John Bock

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1.

Before I hit the doctor’s office I stepped into Regen Projects on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Owned by Shaun Regen this is by far the most interesting gallery in LA and consistently shows challenging and stimulating work.

Regen Projects is currently showing work by German artist John Bock.

Born 1965, Gribbohm, Germany

Lives and works in Berlin.

The show reminded me (inevitably) of fellow German Martin Kippenberger.

Kippenberger is one of my favorite artists.  His work has been inexcusably and crudely plundered by the YBA (Young British Artists).

Bock influences  include: Paul McCarthy, Otto Muehl, Paul Thek and Maurizio Cattelan.

John Bock is a performance artist and sculptor whose three-dimensional works often serve as props for his performances.

Bock creates entire universes using a wildly eclectic range of materials, described in multiple languages, and presented with an antic energy that is equal parts mad scientist and Buster Keaton.

A dizzying mix of pseudo-scientific, aesthetic, social, and political commentary,  Bock’s works defy logic.

This view of the world has various precedents, notably in the post World War II Theatre of the Absurd, a movement whose goal was to shock audiences into facing up to life “in its ultimate, stark reality.”

Bock believes the pre-conscious associations inherent in words are unavoidable and that only through experience and empathy can we penetrate what he terms the “heavy numb dumb world” of daily life.

Bock’s lectures seduce and confound, simultaneously proving perhaps, the inexplicability of the interrelationship of man and his universe.

2.

When I let God take the reigns of the humble buggy I drive down the promised path of happy destiny I am sure of one thing: things are going to turn out just the way they are meant to.  Good and bad.

When I angrily push him out-of-the-way and drive myself I am sure of nothing.

I used to think that if I let God take control of my life, my life might be ever so slightly boring but that simply isn’t the case.  God and I can still go on a wild ride, we can still have excitement and ambition.   We just do it the right way.

I get to have all that life has on offer without paying the terrible price I seem to pay when I wilfully drive the buggy myself.

I used to think (convinced myself) that doing the right thing meant that I had to live a pious life.

This simply isn’t true.  God doesn’t want me kneeling at his feet all day praying that his will be done.  He knows that I believe in his will being done, but what I have come to understand of late is that his will needn’t be dull.

Everyday things get better in my head.  Everyday without the grip of obsession, compulsion and the like I am calmer, more centered, more and more in my own skin.

Getting back to work and in touch with my God-given desire to create (and a means to do so) I feel more like the man I was meant to be rather than the man I have been lately.

Yesterday I went back to the doctor, had more scans and lo and behold there are yet more problems to deal with.  The difference between this time and the last is that I now have a skill set to deal immediately and healthily with these problems rather than the last time when I associated the problem with him.

It is remarkable to me that for nearly a year I let somebody else rule my head and my heart.  By so doing I allowed the deep shadow cast by another to blot out the sunlight of the spirit.

When I talk about God I don’t mean a christian…organised religious God.  I mean a God of my understanding, a higher power to whom I must defer at all times if I am going to live a healthy life.

Categories
Love Malibu Rant

Flush That Toilet!

Spent yesterday, all day, sorting our film structure.

It’s so much fun working with CP.  He makes me laugh all day.

His ideas are strong and sensible.  He thinks in a way that I can understand.

We worked methodically through the original treatment, exploring each element.

Who are these men?  Who are we dealing with?  Where do they live?  How did they get there?  The structure, the logic and the sensibility.  By the end of the day I really felt as I knew exactly what was happening and why.

Where as I was trying to make these characters more like me he was, quite rightly, identifying the sort of men who would actually make the life we were creating for them.

Our approach to structure is very different (I think in acts and timing) but we end up finding common ground.  This is perhaps the most grown up working relationship I have ever had.  I am willing to share, defer, negotiate.  Why?  Because I trust him.

He knows that I am not convinced by own ability in some spheres.  I know that the project, like any film, is bigger than me and therefore, as a director, must agree to be replaced if I am not the right man.

Directing the film is not my aim.  The film is my aim.

We still don’t have a working title but that is the least of our concerns.  The idea is strong enough to be transportable.  We flip-flopped between England and America.

By the end of the day we were both totally exhausted but I felt so happy that we were well on our way to being able to present a coherent idea to our writer..when we finally choose him/her.

I cooked lunch.  We ate dinner in Venice.

As I sink myself further into this project the less interested I am by past concerns.  The more I invest in making art (a life beyond myself) the more complete I feel.

I tell you what I love about our working relationship:  he understands that when I am passionate I am not being angry.  He is not sensitive.  He sees that the ideas I believe in I will fight to keep but not every idea is worth keeping.   He will not lecture me about my ‘attitude’ or how ‘difficult’ I am because he understands the rough and tumble of this highly charged creative process.

Over dinner we discussed his remarkable achievements.  I felt really humbled by his success.

We have lumped all of our agent meetings into one day.

Had breakfast with AA chums in the Palisades.

Categories
Rant

Sparkle

Robby R

Perfectly lovely day in So Cal.  The blue sea, the warm breeze, the humming birds in the Bougainvillea outside my window.  What more could a man want?

With all obsessions now safely stowed, with all unsavoury thoughts banished, with the metaphorical razor wire restored for my own safety, with God back in charge…I could just sit quietly and enjoy the day.

Started out with breakfast and therapy.  After so many months of anger it was as if when the storm passes I hadn’t experienced anything negative during the past year at all!   I am making huge progress with my mad head.

We discussed steps 8 and 9 of the 12 step programme which are all about making amends.  Admitting when we were wrong.   Making a list of all we had harmed.

I love those steps.

Moreover I knew that I was a billion times better because I didn’t fixate on yesterday’s ‘comment’ – I just let it go..now, like it or not, that’s PROGRESS!  I didn’t spend the day wondering who it might have been and how I might defend myself.  I just didn’t care.  Let’s put it this way:  I have finally flushed that toilet.

After breakfast I met Jennie in Venice.  I am so proud of her, she has her book deal and is writing avidly.   We sat in the sun drinking coffee and eating delicious French pastries.

I remember when I first got sober how much pleasure it gave me to feel the sun on my face.  Simple pleasures.

I drove home and filled the plunge pool.

Agent meetings to organize after lunch.  We are trying to find the right writer for our film.  Not an easy task.   We discussed some structural problems in the treatment (synopsis) and the potential remedies.

Dinner with the God Children:  Lamb chops, quinoa tossed with nuts and slivers of fennel and snap peas.  An odd combination but perfectly delicious.

I have to see the doctor on Wednesday as I am experiencing some discomfort down below…sure it’s nothing to worry about.

Categories
Gay Hollywood

Gore Vidal

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYymnxoQnf8&feature=player_embedded]

My third meeting with Gore Vidal.

Two years ago I was introduced to him by Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich when Dennis Kucinich was running for President.

The second time I met Vidal it was with Stephen Fry when Stephen was here in LA writing his book.

On both occasions I had to share him with many others.

On this occasion Charlie Parsons and I had him all to ourselves.

Gore looks very frail.  He looks like a child.  Sitting in his wheelchair, his clothes hanging off his slight frame.  His eyes still blaze, his smile..when he smiles…lighting up his whole face.   He looks ever so slightly like Monty Burns.  He remains mesmerizing.

He is still king of the brilliant bon mot.

Charlie  arrived from London and checked into his hotel.

My good buddy is here in LA so we get to spend a great deal of time together.  He is such fun and very gently mocks how seriously I take myself.

We sat with Gore at his dining room table in his beautiful Spanish revival house (for sale) in the Hollywood Hills riveted to his take on contemporary America.

Sitting with his assistant and his realtor Delphine.  He offered us white wine but we opted (obviously) for water.

Gore recently sold his home in Italy so the house is crammed not only with thousands of books piled in every room but also an extraordinary collection of renaissance art.

A ginger cat with huge eyes lay on his bed.

We sat in the dining room chatting, covering a great deal of ground in a very short amount of time.

We discussed his dancing carp, we discussed the errant Charlie Sheen who he had once played a corrupt senator opposite in The Shadow Conspiracy.

He laughed at how he was always asked to play corrupt senators.

We discuss Sarah Palin .  He impersonates Palin brilliantly reducing us to fits of giggles.  He described her as ‘un-American’, he laments her lack of intelligence.

We discuss pre-war Germany and how the catastrophic economic situation here perfectly mirrors the situation there; creating a moment in time when a person like Palin can grab the attention of the people and make them feel as if she alone can provide simple answers for difficult problems.

Like any snobby intellectual he scorns the stupid whenever he can.   He laments how Obama has been stopped by the vicious right from achieving anything esteemable.

Yet, Obama’s people were also described as ‘stupid’.

Next week he will be with Gorbachev.  He holds Gorbachev in very high regard.

Not only is Gore Vidal a remarkable man, he is a remarkable gay man.  Inspiring me to understand the old, old gay man in my film and who he might be.

Such a wonderful history.  Belligerent, surly, glamorous.

During one of the TV debates at the 1968 Democrat Convention erudite William F. Buckley, Jr. called Gore a “goddamn queer” and threatened to beat him up.

When we left the house we sat quietly in the car making sense of this extraordinary moment.

Gore Vidal, embittered by this contemporary America.  He is saddened that corruption is rife.

Like anyone with a big brain he wants to understand how this could have happened to such a great country.

He mentioned my pet American peeve, that Americans boast continually that they are the very best at everything in all the world.

That they have the best police, firemen, soldiers, scientists, schools, healthcare, healthcare delivery… the list is as long as you want to make it.

Yet, elsewhere people live longer, are better educated, live safely etc.  Gore mocked American grandiosity.

He said, “I don’t know many Swedish boys who are desperate to become American, look at the people who do…”

At one point Vidal started talking about the end of slavery, how the blacks were deliberately uneducated by the whites and if they showed any desire for an education, for reading and writing, he said that they were “Taken out and shot.”

I remember a Chris Rock skit when he imagines what that must have felt like, to disguise ones intelligence for fear of ones life.

Now we are all slaves with no real need to be educated.

Do American white folk still resent an educated black man?  Is that what he was trying to say?  Was this why, when he was elected, people here kept on telling me that Obama would be assassinated?

I drove home listening to NPR but I couldn’t listen to anything other than the conversation we had just had with this frail old man.

When he dies something of old America, good America will die with him.

Chris Rock

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