Categories
Gay Hollywood

Marilyn Manson

Spent yesterday mostly at home or at Mud Cafe on 9th Street writing.  Writing the film I intend to shoot this spring.  It occurs to me that this film may very well be the one I shoot in Whitstable.  It needs sharpening but JA has done a great job so far interpreting and formalizing my haphazard idea.

The story remains compelling and moving.

The other darker story is easy to write.  Less conventional, more emotional.

Decided not to go to gay club down town with Federico last night but am enjoying the prospect of exploring gay New York once again.  Who would have guessed?

Watched The Golden Globes, James (Franco) up for a well deserved Globe.  Pity he didn’t get it…tough competition amongst the boys this year.

So pleased for everyone involved with The Kid’s Are All Right.   Annette especially..her performance was stunning.  Warren must be so proud.  Now, they have a complex relationship.  Lovely seeing the gorgeous Mark Ruffalo…even the ghastly Celine Rattray.  Their film truly deserved the attention.

My friend Atticus Ross won Best Score for Social Network.

How galling must it be for Hugh D’Ancy to see his madly successful wife get the awards when he is largely overlooked?

Fascinating to see Mark Walberg in his capacity as both actor and producer, excelling at both.

Dropped out of the Globes to join Federico at The Hendershot Gallery on Chrystie.  A group show including the work of Marilyn Manson.  Manson’s work was the least interesting and most undeserving of a place in the gallery.

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Galia Offri, on the other hand, is well worth looking at.  Interesting composition, palate and by far the most collectible…although I really liked the pile of pillows in the basement by a young gay artist called Leor Grady.

Galia Offri No Need to Worry

After a few months of never being recognized three people approached me…much to Federico’s amusement.  I must have looked like Duncan Roy…that guy on the TV.

Anyway, chipped and saw last of the Globes with my friend Chris.  We sat curled up in front of a small TV.

Ricky Gervais is just not that funny.  Shocking…yes.  Dry…yes.  To be rehired…yes.

Yet again I was surprised by just how many people I knew all dressed up on TV and wondered if I would ever make another film and if so…would it be recognized.

Maybe not.

New York is very cold.  Very.

Categories
art Gay

Hamish Bowles

Dinner on Friday night with Ian Drew at Essex and Beauty.  Large, noisy new restaurant..a bit too blingy for me but the food was excellent and paid for by the restaurant.

Try the steak tartare on the thick, tasty rice cake.

Thanks.

After dinner we went to a miserable East Village gay bar where men sat beside each other trying to snag other men elsewhere on Grindr.  Their faces lit up by LED screens causing them all unwittingly, with their ghostly green visage, to look like that Ingres portrait of Napoleon.

Napoleon by Ingres

Ian finished his drink.  We left.

It has been startlingly cold.  I love the cold.  I get to dress up!  Hats, hats, hats.  Coats, waistcoats, velvet scarves.   I love my burgundy velvet scarf.  Last night I wore my Dior cape.  It did not pass unnoticed.

Dressed accordingly, the Little Dog and I, walked to Soho House and began to write my film.  Then, oddly, I had another really great idea for a film (or novel) inspired by my new, young HIV friend.    It gushed onto the page like a waterfall.  First, second and third act.   Beginning, middle and the end.

Met and flirted with Brendan Fallis who is super cute.  Steam room buddy.

Even though I am having a great time, I still irrationally fear bumping into Jake.  Consequently there is something utterly ruined about these New York streets.  Like after a blitz or something.  Strewn with emotional rubble.

There seems to be a Jake clone on every corner and every time I see a man who looks like him I shudder.

I think of the special moments we shared here.  Making love in the Jane Hotel.  Reaching out and touching him in the street.   Kissing him for the first time this time last year in the back of that bar on Third Avenue.  Then the sadness comes.  The questions, the feeling that I have been punched in the stomach.

If I’m hurt…can you imagine how badly that girl feels that he deceived for 7 years?  Poor love.  I hope she got herself back on her feet.  Found somewhere nice to live…met a nice guy.  She’s lucky she escaped.  If he was beginning to do meth when I met him he’ll be HIV positive in no time at all.  What a fucking cliché.

Hurt people, hurt people.

Yet, I exist in two completely different spheres.  The reality of my life outweighs the fantasy.

As if to prove a point I had dinner with Federico, my artist friend from Palermo.   We ate at Westville.  The food came late but the conversation was very lively so it didn’t seem to matter.   Then, my NYU poet friend Anthony joined us and we headed west to meet Hamish Bowles.

Hamish greeted me warmly.  We’d met a couple of times many years ago.

Hamish is the real deal.  The man Patrick Kinmonth and Issie Blow wished they could have been.

My fantasy about Hamish: that he went to Eton, life served effortlessly to him….couldn’t be further from the truth.

We actually had rather a lot in common.  He too lived in Kent during his formative years.  Went to a grammar school in Canterbury.  We would have been knocking about Canterbury at exactly the same time…probably both very horny gay teenagers wondering where we could get cock.

Like Fenton Bailey he succeeded in spite of everything.  In spite of his difference.

Hamish is primarily an academic, but his glamorous day job is the European Editor at Large for Vogue.  He is a respected authority on both worlds of fashion and interior design.

In April 2001 he was appointed creative consultant at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, with responsibility for organizing and mounting the internationally renowned and critically acclaimed Costume Institute Exhibition, “Jacqueline Kennedy: The White House Years—Selections from the John F. Kennedy Library Museum”.

Hamish has a huge collection of haute couture that he lends to museums and galleries all over the world.  The Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, The Fashion Institute of Technology, and The Museum of the City of New York in Manhattan; the Palais Galliera and The Musee de la Mode, the Victoria & Albert Museum and the Museum of London in London among others.

Recently he curated the Cristóbal Balenciaga show at The Spanish Institute.  Opened by Queen Sofía of Spain entitled, “Balenciaga: Spanish Master,” the show examines the work of Cristóbal Balenciaga and his Spanish influences.   60 pieces of clothing and accessories including some from Hamish’s own collection and many unseen publicly before.

Balenciaga

I am going to see the show on Tuesday.

We discussed Cary Fukunaga’s Jane Eyre, he had just seen at a private screening for Anna Wintour.  You’ll remember that Jake and I met Cary this summer in Whitstable with Mia.  Hamish said that, although a bit slow, he loved the film and cried all the way through.  He reported that the costumes were perfect and historically accurate.  He said that Mia’s performance was excellent.

Discussed Michael Bessman’s house that once belonged to the Baron de Meyer.

I cried all the way home.  I couldn’t help myself.

I should be really happy.  Deep down I am.  I just need to learn how to consistently mine the joy I know is there.

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Categories
art Gay Hollywood

Brice Dellsperger

After an uneventful day, excepting a visit from a 28-year-old, sober, HIV positive, gay mafia moll with a remarkable story…I braved the cold and walked from the East Village to an art opening in Soho.

Team Gallery on Grand Street is owned by a grumpy, reptilian gay guy called Jose Freire.  I was introduced to him yonks ago by Max Wigram when I tried unsuccessfully to buy a piece by Ryan McGinley at Frieze.

As miserable as Jose may be…he has great taste and last nights show was no exception.

An extraordinary video installation by French artist Brice Dellsperger.

I met my sweet and excruciatingly handsome friend Leonard the young buff Buffalo boy who seemed a little overwhelmed by both the crowd and the show.  We ate dinner at Prune.  I had the monkfish liver and a very poorly executed lamb steak.  He had prawns and veal.  We did not stick around for desert or coffee.

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The Team gallery show was called:  Refreshing Fassbinder…and others.

The show continues Dellsperger’s longtime fascination with the psychosexual in contemporary cinema.

Body Double 22, after Stanley Kubrick‘s Eyes Wide Shut (1999) was perfectly delicious to watch.  A mesmerizing, non-linear partial restaging of Stanley Kubrick’s thriller Eyes Wide Shut

Body double refers to Dellspergers’s performers (he and long time collaborator Jean-Luc Verna) standing in for and lip-synching to Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

The films examine issues of authenticity using digital slippage, irregular lip-synching, and crudely constructed sets and costumes…channelling Kenneth Anger and Derek Jarman.   Gay art cinema.

I loved Jean-Luc Verna’s performance which is tinged with menacing humor..as only a tranny can.

Body Double 27, 2010 is a three-channel video installation which, of course reminded me of my own film AKA.  The same scene repeated, side-by-side, with several different actors playing the same role.

This piece was particularly beautiful and more than adequately fills the main part of the gallery.

In Fassbinder’s film a man lusts after his co-worker Anton, who says, “Too bad you are not a woman”, to which the man responds by becoming a transvestite.

Dellsperger’s film is a repetition of a scene where a transvestite furtively approaches an anonymous man.  The man is always unresponsive.  The transvestite cries on his own.  Dellsperger’s powerful looping fragments form an unrelenting examination of unrequited love.

Dellsperger revisits themes of gender, destabilized identity and homosexuality in the Hollywood mainstream.

If you can, go see this show.

Categories
Travel

Big Breakfast

Veselka, eating a huge breakfast and trying to write.  Trying to tie up loose ends.  Trying to make sense of everything here.

Now that I am here.

It’s been so cold.  Where’s my beach in the sun when I need it?

Last night I went to the theatre with Amelia.  The Soho Rep below Canal.

Dinner after the show at Macao Trading Co. paid for, very kindly, by the owners.

The theatre show was called Jomama Jones: Radiate.  Jomama (drag queen) is a returning seventies singing sensation.

Glittering costumes, huge fro.  Jomama lives in exile in Switzerland because she feels alienated from her mother land.

When asked to return to perform by a new generation of fans she agrees.  The show is that show.  It was really beautifully conceived.  Great set and costumes…amazing music.   Beautifully performed.

The story really worked except the end which was a bit mawkish and sophomoric.  Even so, probably the best fringe theatre show I had ever seen in NYC excepting Weimar New York…which I ended up producing in LA.  The Green Door never ever paid us for putting on that show.

My favorite part of  Jomama Jones Radiate was when she described how she fell from grace.  When the record execs heard her angry political ‘new’ album…”They told me to relax!  They told me to relax my lyrics, my performance and…my hair.”  When she refused her record label let her go.

Lady Rizo and I were invited up on stage to dance.  It was quite liberating to do so in front of a packed house.  Loved it.

Spent today receiving friends.  Getting into it.  Selling art.  Going to make my movie.

Categories
Travel

NYC Again

Flight back to New York on one of those huge two-story Air France airplanes.

Spent the past few days looking at the remaining films on the BAFTA shortlist so I can vote fairly.  Without doubt my favorite film this year (so far) is Social Network.

I love the editing, the music, the photography, the script…THE TENSION…the performances…especially that they made Zuckerberg borderline Aspergers.  It must have been the first American film I ever saw that addresses or hints at class war, that white protestants still abhor/distrust jews, etc.  It was such a heterosexual film.

(funny aside..sitting in SHLA last year listening to a bunch of jewish talent agents discussing the dearth of jews in the British film industry)

I remind myself that because of Facebook I met Jake.  So modern.

Now he has vanished from the internet…apart from what I write about him here of course…and his job…if he still has it.

As hurt as I am, the more I recover from him the more I want him to have all the riches life has to offer.  Just like I used to..when I first met him.  Whatever he gets…peace of mind may always be beyond his reach.

His troubled, beautiful head.

Now we live in the same city.

The reality is, it’s a small city so the chances are we will run into one another.   Not like living in a huge city like London…mind you I’ve only ever seen Richard Green once in tiny Whitstable since we stopped talking and that was twenty years ago.   So, it’s possible but unlikely.

Lots to think about.  I am not going to drive my stuff to NYC.  I am going to pay to have it moved.  Just take everything that’s presently in storage and the beginning of this new art collection.  So many exciting new opportunities!

I really don’t want to go back to LA but I suppose that I must.

The past few days in Paris have been so much fun!

Jessie, my very successful actress traveling companion is usually quite frugal but currently inspired to be profligate by her accountant who routinely tells her that she doesn’t spend enough.  Remedy: she ends up in Paris and spends a fortune on the Lanvin spring collection and bits from Collette.

On the other hand, I was uncharacteristically reserved having bought a great deal of art and stuff in the UK…anyway; I have far too many clothes.

Lunch at Costes.  Our waiter…James.  What a dream.  EVERYWHERE we turned there were dreamy French men.  Yet, as much as you might think…it was good to just look, to appreciate.   I didn’t need to own any of them.

Jessie and I met a very handsome, young, aristocratic, redheaded boy who organized a huge dinner for us with his equally handsome, aristocratic friends.  One of them told me that I had been ‘stained’ by the United States.   Of course…this is perfectly true.

After dinner we took our redhead to The Baron, which, as you are very well aware, is a very cool/exclusive club.  Jess, wearing a new Lanvin dress, danced until dawn…literally until dawn.  I think the redhead wanted us to seduce him but neither Jess nor I have the kind of relationship that can sustain a threesome.

I woke late on Sunday morning to the Gifford attempted assassination news and I was shocked back into the politics of my adopted home.   It made me so angry.

Jess doesn’t really know anything about American politics…why should she?

On Sunday we decided to walk from the Hotel Amour in Pigalle to the Tour Eiffel..we let the dog off leash in the Tuilleries and he scampered after the pigeons whilst we enjoyed the view.

Crossed the Seine at the Assemblee National, walked past the brand new Musée du quai Branly, dedicated to indigenous art from Africa, Asia, Oceania, and the Americas.  Commissioned by Jacques Chirac and designed by Jean Nouvel the building is unbelievably gorgeous even though the gardens looked a bit scrappy.

A hop skip and a jump later and there we were at the Eiffel Tower.

I hadn’t realized that there was a small lake almost directly under the tower.

We walked back over the river to the Trocadero and sat in Carette, drank hot chocolate ate delicious macaroons…my favorite being the raspberry.   There was so much to see.  Young people jumping up and down on the back tire of their bicycles, break dancers from Senegal, all sorts of kids, all very well dressed…kids dancing and singing and providing a lively, entertainment which was both unexpected and free.

We both remarked just how much freer the French are.  Free to enjoy their lives.  As much as I am loathed to admit it the English are becoming more like the Americans…plagued by petty resentments and very controlling.

I am sure that the French have their problems too but hey, I can’t understand enough to engage with their shit.

Sitting there I was reminded of an incident years ago…with John Jermyn, latterly The Marquis of Bristol.  Frustrated by the traffic and eager to get to the other side of the Seine he drove in his Range Rover down that huge flight of steps through the Palais de Chaillot that lead from Trocadero to the Eiffel Tower.

I don’t remember being arrested.  I wasn’t driving.  I was also in the car when John tried shooting a man from his range Rover on the Place de la Concord.  That was scary.  John died of aids and heroin.

We walked back up the Champs Elyse and through Place Vendome until we were safely home.

We loved staying at the Hotel Amour.  The staff are super cool and very friendly, the food was excellent, I LOVED my little room.  They treated the little dog like their very own little dog and there were Kiel’s products in the bathroom.

Unlike my time in France with Jake, Jessie would open her purse and gladly pay her share.   In fact, as a most lovely gift, she paid for our chocolate and macaroons at Carette.

The entire trip proved to be a most wonderful surprise.

Sunday night we had a quiet dinner with our smooth skinned red-headed boy.  I was in bed at 11…my legs were killing me from having walked so far (nearly 7 miles) and the magical night before at The Baron.

Categories
Travel

Sunday in Paris

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Categories
Rant

Sarah Palin Murderer

Just one of many murders allowed to walk American streets freely whilst innocents languish in prison.

Add her name to a growing list of treasonous Americans who regularly incite hatred and violence against their fellow country men and specifically their President.   Sarah Palin, Rush Limburg and Glenn Beck: this grim triumvirate has become an impressive killing machine.

Bloated, ignorant commentators using freedom of speech as an ideological shield from behind which they scream their uninformed, toxic rhetoric.

In turn the dumb American proletariat, unable to fight for their own, turn on those who want to help them the most.

The ‘Christian’ hate speak of Sarah Palin and her legion of devoted followers has claimed the first of many of it’s intended victims..because, make no mistake, in the Palin home today they are praying that Congress Woman Gifford dies.

The meaningless sop, theses ‘thoughts and prayers’ offered to Gifford’s family and the American people from Sarah Palin this past twenty-four hours disguises a plain truth:  the only prayer to Palin’s God is that Gifford becomes just the first of many elected officials who will either be killed or too scared to stick to their ‘progressive’ principals.

This highly motivated fascist machine with its unpaid hit men will not, cannot be stopped with or for any reason.  They are deaf to anything other than their own message.

Still furious that a black man can be President these pink, treasonous men and women have done everything possible to stop Obama from achieving anything he promised the American people during his campaign.   Small minded folk, red necks, laughing amongst themselves as they take turns insulting the black man, tripping him up and laughing as he falls, spitting in his face…dragging him behind the car…hanging him from the nearest tree.

If only Obama didn’t look so damned scared, when Joe Wilson screamed ‘you lie’ (boy) “I called that nigger a liar to his face.”  Obama looked appropriately  sheepish at the good old boys.  Scared of the white man.  Michelle, on the other hand, shot them back that look..she isn’t scared because she knows exactly who these men are and who they represent.  But we all knew about her, we had been warned that she could be…uppity.

Their pink skinned agenda, as if you weren’t already aware:  No abortion.  More War.  More Guns.  More Prisons.  No Respect for the Environment.  Free to be Racist/Homophobic.  Free to ‘take down’ anyone with opposing ideas.  Free to make money by lying, cheating and stealing.  Free to treat the rest of the world as America pleases.  But most of all they want you to see things their way and no other way will do.

Today Sarah Palin’s followers are rejoicing that a health care supporting ‘blue dog’ democrat has been gunned down in the name of ‘freedom’.

I am neither surprised or disgusted because this is the American way, this is how Americans do things and will always do things.  Frankly, if they wanted it any other way..the rules would change.  Remember Martin Luther-King, JFK, Harvey Milk..etc. etc.  This is the most violent culture in the world.

If you have the guts and the motivation to assassinate then go right ahead.  Pay the price but go right ahead.  Survival of the fittest.  Manifest destiny.

The murderer is still alive to talk freely about his motivation.  I, and the rest of the world, will be fascinated by his story.  He didn’t bother to kill himself but let’s see if he survives to tell his tale.  He has served his purpose.

He has already been cast as a rogue liberal by the Tea Party…a Marx reading,  Hitler devotee..a loner and an iconoclast…he will be called a great deal more but none of it will be accurate.

(Surprise surprise…when he appeared in court the CNN reporter reported with some amazement that the mass murderer looked ‘normal’ ‘calm’ and ‘cooperative’.  He was not behaving like Charles Manson..he could be any one of our sons.)

Sarah Palin may very well be the next President of the United States, not just because she appeals to the lowest common denominator but because after years of pathetic ‘honorable’ Obama leadership this crazy, intensity addicted, short termist American public craves more drama…like a TV show..or an action movie…

The President of the United States is no longer elected, he is re-cast.

This childish, self-serving society gets the leaders it deserves.  Don’t tell me that it isn’t possible for someone like Sarah Palin to be president…that’s what they said about Hitler..the giggling German intellectuals…that what they said about Adolf Hitler.

If American liberals can’t stand up to these thugs then the rest of the world must.

Categories
Travel

Paris after the Pigs

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Jess and I decided to put on our best togs, book into the coolest hotel we could find (Hotel Amour) and spend the weekend in Paris.

I woke early on Dean Street and to my delight a young man popped over to say a sweet goodbye.   He stayed a few minutes.  His lithe, hairless, Irish body for my delectation.

I packed…a punch and my suitcase.  After a HUGE English breakfast, we were on the train to Dover.  When we got there however, this grey miserable Kentish town, we realized that we had missed our last train from Calais to Paris.

Bugger.

Good naturedly we decided to press on and agreed that once on the boat we would ask if anyone, by any chance, was going to Paris and could we cadge a lift?

Well, one might think that would be a hard task to accomplish.  Initially it was.  I sent Jess (red tight sweater, full lips) to schmooze the lorry drivers but they were mostly Polish so immune to her pigeon French and hand gestures.  She cut no ice with these gruff eastern Europeans.

Whilst she was gesticulating wildly and grinning like the Joker at fat men…I met a beautiful 24 year old soldier called Nick with blue eyes and the sweetest nature.  Surprise, surprise!

Nick hung out with us for the duration and I couldn’t stop thinking about him…he was/is gorgeous.

Anyway, finally, we found a British coach driver with abnormally bad teeth, pallid complexion and a weasily midland disposition called Leigh.  He wanted our cash so we willingly handed over 200 euros for a lift to Paris.  What he failed to tell us was that the majority of the other passengers on the coach were so drunk that they could not sit squarely in their seats, farted continually and made conversations that made even me blush.  Not because they were lewd but because they were so puerile.

I have not been in such ghastly company for ages.  Jess described them as ‘pond life’.

They all suffered, like children, from the disease of more.  More food, more alcohol..and of course Penny from Wolverhampton, sitting directly behind me could not think of anything but her suppurating vagina as she tried hopelessly to blow one man and coax another into the bathroom..neither of whom would have anything to do with her.

Penny (Pennoy) then grabbed my head and told me to look at her.  I said, “Have you met my wife?”  She then leapt out of her seat to kiss Jess, her alcohol sodden body falling onto my poor, sober friend.

Anyway, seething with resentment, my jaw clenched for three hours we finally disgourged in Paris…as it happens a few kilometers from out hotel so, in a few surprisingly short moments, we were eating delicious cheese and drinking Badoit before falling into a deep and deserved sleep.

I slept with Jess because of a room issue.  She does not snore, fart or talk in her sleep.  I, on the other hand, could not stop thinking about my blond squaddy and what I would do with him if it was he and not her laying beside me.

The room issue is now resolved…so perhaps…nah…well…maybe.

Today we shopped.  Collette, Lanvin, Comme…etc.  My post tumour life.   We ate lunch at Costes.  Hanging out with Jess is so much fun.  Last time I was here I was with the HIM who I rather cruelly but accurately described as Jean-Baptiste Grenouille the guy from the novel Perfume in my vlog.

Slinking behind me like a crippled, foul-smelling, dwarf.

KW Studio Visit
Categories
art

Studio Visit/Tailor/Old Friends

Yesterday I met a man…we did what men do. He arrived at 8 and left at midnight.  He had piercing blue eyes.  I made him tell me, as part of our ‘role play’ that he loved me, that he was never going to leave me.

It really turned me on.

Tonight is my last night in London after a really eventful day.  Started at 9am with Jess calling about our trip to Paris.

Multiple contractions of apprehension.

After a huge breakfast at Soho House I nipped over to Dover Street in Mayfair through the pouring rain to pick up my new APC pants..they are so yummy.  Grey cashmere.  Perfect for this miserable, cold weather.

On an impulse I popped into Oswald Boatang and bought a beautiful Stephen Jones hat.  Reduced from $500 to $100.   The assistant who sold it to me stood so close to me when I was trying it on…I could feel him.  He was so beautiful I felt like touching his face.

He smelt so clean…scrubbed.

I didn’t touch him.  I thanked him for being so attentive.

Finally..after literally years of deliberation…I stopped in at a tailor on Saville Row and started the process of having a coat made for next winter.  That beautiful bespoke coat I have wanted all my life.   A coat that I am designing with the tailor.

Loving London so much.  I love that I know it so well and can afford to live a very comfortable life here.

I went to therapy at 1pm.  Really great meeting.  Met Matt Rowe at 2pm and had Jerusalem artichoke soup for lunch.

Have not seen Matt for yonks…he has had two kids and recently separated from his girl friend.  He is best known for writing with his writing partner Biff all of the Spice Girls hits.

When I met him he was so young and so rich.  It was Matt who threw the party we had at the Mercer New Years Eve 1999 with Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman…Calvin Klein, Fran Leibowitz…etc etc.

We reminisced.  We wondered how we got away with so much?

He has a great sense of humor…as does Charlie P.

Matt and I met Charlie Parsons at Tottenham Court Road and we all headed to High Barnet to meet with Konrad and see his work.  He mixes his own semen into the paint.  Huge studio in a disused artificial limb factory.  Bought a very beautiful painting.  Charlie bought two.  Ate chocolate biscuits and drank hot tea.

The Little Dog ran around like a mad thing.  Running all over the paintings and insanely trying to eat any paintbrush he could lay his paw on.

Schlepped back to town.  Had a hot chocolate, fed the dog…went to bed.

Categories
art

Konrad Wyrebek Studio Visit