This summer has not delivered the early morning, glittering sea views we are used to. It is gray and wet. The dew is so heavy that it drips like tropical rain off the plane trees.
By 10am the sun has burned off the marine layer but somehow never really recovers. The weather is totally messed up. The garden thrives although I worry about the cacti.
We lost three this year, rotting in the damp air.
I have huge and beautiful squash growing on the terrace.
Henry is dropping by today. He is taking me to the doctor. My foot is still very painful. Swollen. I can see that it gets better. Slowly, slowly. I take a stick with me into the garden. Ever since the coyote attacked the little dog he stays close to me.
There is a very destructive squirrel chomping on anything and everything but mostly he/she picks oranges and peels them very carefully.
The plums have all been harvested. The figs are ripening. There are so many this year.
Tomatoes and beans, lemons, limes and grapes.
Late last night the dog started howling at the moon. It’s impossible to get back to sleep.
The garden. Watering the garden. Tending the garden. Seedlings. Deer at night. Snakes by day. Warm sun, a cool breeze blowing off the ocean. It is just all so beautiful and thrilling.
I take my afternoon nap. I write my blog. I walk by the ocean. Gabe is here. The tide is high. The Little Dog runs from the waves, darting in and out of the rocks. The surfers ride them high, crashing into the water.
News items that disturb me: The mutilated 13-year-old Syrian boy. The care workers in England who tortured their mentally ill charges. The other little boy who may win a fixed British talent contest. The corrupt and uncaring government.
Yet, despite these horrors I can still find peace. I am at one with who I am. Will this last? No it wont, but why bother worrying about what may or may not come next?
Spirituality means dealing with our intuition. The divine is looking kindly upon me?
I am here and now. Experiencing right now. No point in dwelling on the past or imagining the future. This very moment. Nothing mystical. Precise.
Why be threatened by the now? Jumping to the past or the future. The now is good.
I am no longer waiting to be dead.
Trust right now. It is very powerful. Interacting with the now. Everything I experience is unconditional.
Borrowing from the past and inviting the future. No, not today.
Perhaps this is why I want God to look kindly upon me?
This morning I fight with AT&T because they have over charged me. I take the twins and Gabe to breakfast at the Lumber Yard. I water the citrus trees. Yesterday I stayed at the house all day gardening.
Enough is all I have so I must trust that enough is all I need. My needs are met. Right NOW. Look around me and experience what for the past year has been so elusive. I live in a paradise. My own paradise. It is no use dwelling on future catastrophes when I love what is happening right now. It is no use hankering after what could have been. It is no use comparing what I have with what others own and despairing that I want even more.
I am a single man with far too much already.
PS My friend and backgammon foe Sam (Levinson) is dating Ellen Barkin. I celebrate their 31 years age difference.
My friend Alecia has had her baby.