Sebastian Horsley RIP (though unlikely)

Not sad about Sebastian.  Not sad about anything.  Loads of messages from friends re. Sebastian.  I had long chat with PH this morning about the trip home and how amazing it is that we survived at all.

I have been miserable about turning 50 in three weeks but better to be turning 50 than turning in my grave.

It was such a tonic chatting with my darling PH, she has always been there for me.  Always.  Anyway, that’s just the way I need to start my day with a bit of loving validation.  Suddenly I feel like I can cope with ANYTHING.

Held here in sunny LA aspic.   Suspended in solid jelly.  I can see out and they can see in but I’m waiting for the jelly to melt around me.

Last night’s dinner with friends was delicious.  We played a few games of backgammon after.  When John realized he wasn’t going to beat me he ran off leaving his wife to try her luck.  Nope, she didn’t win.

My diet means that I can wear clothes I have not worn for a few years.  Last night I wore a pair of crisply pressed silk Prada pants and my Comme cardi.  Lovely.

From the 26th floor I stared out over LA as dusk fell.  The car lights on Sunset Blvd snaking for miles East, white and red.   A huge black cloud from the west hastening the night.

Really making an effort to get out of the house.   I am not sitting indoors for 12 days.   Interminably long days.  Perhaps I should just take the car and drive across the USA?   Actually, that isn’t such a bad idea.

I could stop off in Nashville and see Joan!  How about it Joan?

Very exciting European prospects ahead.  I am particularly looking forward to seeing my friends and walking the streets.  July is always such a glorious month in London.  Did I tell you that I ran into Orlando Bloom at breakfast the other day?  Now, he is a sweetheart.  Sat next to Alanis Morrisette at Cholada on PCH.  That’s the extent of my starry life here in LA.

I am so happy she called.  So happy.

8 replies on “Sebastian Horsley RIP (though unlikely)”


To reiterate my tweet, if there’s an All Star Rock Band in heaven, then I bet Sebastian is holding court at the heavenly equivalent of The Colony. Trying to charm a few angels. Keeping his wits sharp. Maybe he’ll occasionally hit a rock concert. If he liked rock. 🙂

Got such good vibes from your post. *Unapologetic flower child here. ;)* I’m so very, very, glad. *Metal Rabbit bounces up & down like Tigger with a big shit eating grin on her face* Yay, Duncan!!!



D, you would love drivin cross country in summer, its amazing! Heres to Nahville, one of the prettiest nicest towns in the states, takes care of her own when they have floods.If you cut thru colorado..skip boulder. haaaa, seriously, youd despise the pretentious smug asshats here.
dont know how you are living without breads, but wtg if you can do the Pradas.
and as far as bein 50? honey, you are a old soul, and have great genes, throw that old crap out the window. have a party to celebrate livin that 50 yrs!

In response to the last several posts:
John O’Donohue, in “Anam Cara”, quotes Goethe:

Blessed Longing

Tell no one else, only the wise
For the crowd will sneer at one
I wish to praise what is fully alive,
What longs to flame toward death.

When the calm enfolds the love-nights
That created you, where you have created
A feeling from the Unknown steals over you
While the tranquil candle burns.

You remain no longer caught
In the peneumbral gloom
You are stirred and new, you desire
To soar to higher creativity.

No distance makes you ambivalent.
You come on wings, enchanted
In such hunger for light, you
Become the butterfly burnt to nothing.

So long as you have not lived this:
To die is to become new,
You remain a gloomy guest
On the dark earth.

O’Donohue says that this poem “suggests that true vitality is hidden within longing. When you give in to creative passion, it will bring you to the ultimate thresholds of transfiguration and renewal. This growth causes pain, but it is a sacred pain. It would be much more tragic to have cautiously avoided these depths and remained marooned on the shiny surfaces of the banal.”

And don’t we all need friends who feel like “home”–a PH perhaps?

A trip across country sounds fabulous!

Beautiful poem. That’s what Duncan needs to fill the longing… to create something. To let his creative fire burn him down so he can emerge, phoenix-like, on the other side, fresh and new.

that was really nice Moira! (and i think D is a lil homesick, i know the feeling.)

Thanks Holly. I, and I think many of us, have always been “homesick” as in searching for my community. It is rare and therefore wonderful to find friends who feel like family (or in many cases, much more like real family)–just had dinner with my soul-friend and feel uplifted, warm, happy, and grateful!

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