Gay Malibu Rant

Public Option/Private Option

without beard in sydneyWhenever some catty reader tells me to go home to the UK because I write optimistically for positive governmental change, fair taxes or that there might be a public option in the healthcare bill-where am I meant to go?  I live here!  Some of you can be very cruel, writing vile and damning notes to me-do I care about your vile and damning notes?

Do I fuck!  It takes a great deal more than a few inarticulate insults to upset this old goat.

What could any of you possibly do to upset me?   Well, like my errant lover, you could keep me hanging around LA waiting for you when all I want is you beside me-that’s pretty unsettling.  I am unsettled. Bemused by adolescence.

Even though I know you are fragile, it’s hard not to be selfish.  I love you. I need you.

I want to fuck you.

However, I loved laughing with you last night Mr. Darling NYC.  Sitting together by the fire in Malibu with Chris. Laughing like we should be doing when two people meet and fall headlong into…whatever men like us fall into.  I wish there was a word for that exciting moment just before you fall in love.

I couldn’t sleep last night.   I remembered the giant from twin peaks.

This is all I am permitted to say.

So, I was thinking about just how lucky I am surrounded by like-minded friends who want the best for all of us-rather than just themselves.

I was thinking about God and how regardless of circumstance I am never alone because I have faith.

A great deal of faith.

There’s a man in a smiling bag.

I have faith that the good of the people will overcome the evil in men’s hearts.

I was thinking about being a liberal.   I was wondering what American’s mean when they say the word ‘liberal’?  When they think of a liberal what do they see?  I was thinking that in some countries even Glenn Beck would be perceived as a liberal and that it’s all a matter of context.

Actually, regardless of whichever country Glen Beck lived, he would still be a simpering, self-obsessed cretin – a suppurating sore on the backside of humanity.

Unable to sleep I was thinking a great deal last night-holding my lover in the night gently snoring and fragile in my arms.

Without chemicals he points.

Having been one, I was thinking about the British Aristocracy.   Drunk aristocrats, dressed in tartan, over glasses of port rueing the day the British media went bad, nostalgic for a truly right wing rag.

Some would raise a glass to Oswald Mosley.

I met Oswald Mosley,  leader of the British Union of Fascists and his beautiful wife Diana Mitford in Paris when I was 19.    By the time I met him he was a demented old man wracked with Parkinson’s disease.  Lunch was cancelled because he took a dump in the sitting-room-I remember the smell and thought to myself  ‘that was a stinky poo’.

Until his dying day, Oswald Mosley was convinced that the British people would eventually come to their senses and call him home to lead the country he believed vehemently he was born to lead.

Oswald Mosley was not a rogue British fascist.  It is well known that had Hitler invaded the United Kingdom the aristocracy, of whom Hitler was in awe and had great sympathy, made a pact to hold onto what they owned.  Edward VIII‘s pro-German views made him a source of concern for the British government. “He’d always admired Hitler. He was, frankly, very pro-Nazi,” says John Julius Norwich.

Edward’s affair with Wallis Simpson – an American with a racy past, who was even more pro-fascist than Edward – was of great worry to the Royal Family. In 1936, Edward gave up the throne. The couple married as the Duke and Duchess of Windsor in 1937, and went on a tour of Nazi Germany, finally settling in Portugal. While Adolf Hitler plotted to seize the duke and use him as a puppet king, Churchill banished him to the Bahamas – where he could do the least damage to the British war effort.

I want to write about the private option.

The man I met in New York, the scruffy handsome man is gone.  There’s no two ways about it.  Gone, gone, gone. I just didn’t call him back and now friends are calling pissed at me for my summary dismissal.   One night he lays there in my arms as gently as a baby the next he is on the streets diving into gay bars in The East Village.

Jake bauman Jake Bauman

That, my friends, is the way it is in the life of a sex addict.

What do these things mean?

LUNCH:  Cold poached chicken with watercress sauce.  Delicious.

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8 replies on “Public Option/Private Option”

Duncan, It seems you are havimg a bad day! I have and still do adore you. Your writing, your humor, your accent, your vulnarabilty are all very attractive qualities and I don’t mean in a sexual way. Some people have the ability to be natural magnets for others and I believe you posess that quality. You are smart and kind and so very funny but what is this mostly unintelligible blog about? It seems this message was one that only ones who know you well could understand. Please correct me if I am wrong but it feels like this was a selfish airing of laundry to make you feel better without your reader in mind at all. Please do tell…

Duncan, You write and speak the truth, and thats what i feel like i can’t get enough of! You make me want to keep reading, and draw me in by the slightest word phrasing. In regards to this particular entry, i just would like to say, people are going to try to put you down , its just the way it is, but you just have to try and think of the positive (which i know can be extremely harder than it sound). You seem like an awesome, truthful, and honest person, so people who say crap are probably just trying to get a reaction out of you. I hope that things look up for you, and you keep being yourself. You inspire me..

When American’s say Liberal they think of Canadians i.e. socialist. We are who they use as an example for everything that could possibly happen to their country. But actually I quite like being a Canadian. I quite like not having to put healthcare before food or housing if I happen to get sick. Are we taxed a lot? Maybe. But I don’t think we are taxed as much as you Americans are and we get much more for it. Your government is such a huge machine and your way of government is so complicated. Here a bill is a bill is a bill. Smaller things that have nothing to do with the bill are not attached onto a bill as a favour for someone’s vote to pass the real bill in the first place. It’s much easier to get rid of a leader if we don’t have confidence in them.

But on another note Duncan I’m having trouble following your love life. You write in code. Are you having an affair with someone in another relationship? Is he in LA or New York or are there two people.

Also as a curiousity seeker, because beside liking you through tv and your blog we come here because we are curious…when you were on Sex Rehab you said you were bored or done with being gay and that you remained emotionally unattached but loved the physical part of it or as you said I think, “just sucking cock”. Then you wrote about a seamless sexuality and how you didn’t want to be identified as either gay or straight (I could be wrong, I’d have to go back a few months and check exactly what you wrote) but all your relationships or attraction seem to be with men. You can get emotionally attached to women but you had trouble getting emotionally attached to men but were turned on by men physically and not so much by women? I am not mocking you and I hope I’m not being annoying. I’m just trying to understand…where you stand.

And far from sending you back to the UK…I think you should come to Canada. We have a great arts scene here. If not Toronto, then Vancouver where you could work in movies and television. But hell as a writer you can write anywhere. And we would be honoured having you as an addition to our country and arts scene. And in Toronto especially we have a really good gay community. Ontario allows gay marriage and we try to treat all gays, lesbians and trans gendered people with respect.

…let the truth be known…but what is the truth as it is very hard to decipher. Truth or fiction, after are you are a brilliant writer…a movie perhaps?

I doubt that most Americans don’t think about Canadians when they hear the word “liberal.” In fact, I doubt that most Americans think about Canadians much at all. I’m not saying that to be smart-alecky or disagreeable, though, and I swear no offense is intended to Dawn or any oher Canadian who may be reading this, It just seems to me that when most Americans hear the term “liberal” they probably tend to think of the images and/or people who have always been (and still are) demonized by the far right as the root of all of this country’s problems. Even after all these years, indiiduals like Jane Fonda and Ted Kennedy are widely viewed as some sort of poster-children for liberal government (as if that’s automatically an awful thing), and they supposedly represent everything that “real” Americans are supposed to hate. In the average American mind “liberalism” usually involves approving of things like forced racial quotas, revolving door policies toward violent criminals and the governmental dismantling of all religious rights and/or rites. A lot of Americans feel like supporting any liberal candidate can only lead to things like government grants which subsidize pornography or allow evil, perverted lesbians & gays to get married and have multiple abortions on the taxpayer’s dime and so on, Of course not all of us are that stupid. Times have certainly changed, and these days there are less and less neo-nazi types being elected to political office, or even getting away with their standard old nonsense but, still, one really has to give he Republicans/Conservatives a lot of credit because they’ve been amazingly successful in their anti-liberal propaganda campaigns. These types of silly stereotypes about what it means to be liberal are widespread and are pretty deeply ingrained in many, many American minds. Just watch a few hours of Fox “News” or listen to a group of Rush Limbaugh’ fans chatting and you’ll see what I mean. Again, I love me some Canadians so please don’t be offended by anything I wrote!

And I apologize for this hairpin tangent but, Duncan, you look very thin in that picture. Are you eating enough? Now don’t get me wrong…I think you look great (I only wish more people would tell me I looked thin) but you do seem to have lost weight since I saw you on the teevee show.

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