The 18th Century Man has just peeled beets and the little dog is sleeping on the sofa.
This evening he very kindly bought a huge chunk of white chocolate for me at Wholefoods. In no time at all we seem to have settled into a harmonious domestic routine. We do not challenge each other unnecessarily nor do we expect anything more from each other than this moment where we exist right now.
He is cooking gnocchi. His accent is becoming apparently British and he is threatening to shave his beard revealing just how young he looks without it.
It was a beautiful early morning yesterday above the marine layer when I drove to my meeting in Hollywood, saw my breakfast boys then drove back to Malibu so I could take him to work. Carless because his spunky roommate had borrowed his baby blue Mustang-yes, he has a baby blue Mustang.
I have been on the West Side all week. Seriously thinking about getting a studio in Venice rather than keeping a place in Hollywood. I will have ‘community’ and be able to get to Malibu and my meetings and go to the gym without travelling 60 miles.
The 18th Century Man and me seem to cause some of you consternation. What do you expect? That I settle down into some miserable, suburban co-existence with a man more my own age because it suits your idea of what is ‘best’ for me? The reality is-I have no expectation, we have no expectations. We are having fun. The sex that I should have had for three months with the other I am still not having in abundance because I am not breaking my vow! We are getting to know each other! Getting to know what it feels like so if and when the moment comes-and it seems to be coming..imminently then it will be the right moment with the right man.
He is not a boy. He is a grown up man packaged in a boyish body. Men just like him are presently going down mines, being blown up in wars or designing bridges like the wunderkind Thomas Telford.
I don’t care if you approve of my choices or me. I am obviously not the kind of man the average mother is going to approve of or the best-girl-friend. Women get it so wrong when they imagine what is best for men together. They really have no clue. I am never going to get the best-girl-friend to love me as often the best-girl-friend has carved out a place in her heart for him that is never going to include anyone-ever.
So, for my many detractors:
I think that a lot of you forget that whilst you were out there having sex with multiple partners, or even one partner I was not. I was at home on my own cosseted away from the world of sex looking at the Internet or simply too scared to have sexual relations. Don’t give me a hard time now I have learned how to do it.
You can be a very punitive bunch. Wouldn’t you wish a condemned man a few days of happiness?
You know what I adore about him? He gets it. Night Jasmin, white chocolate, black glazed cotton. But the best thing about this friendship is that we both understand that any narrative will have a beginning, middle and an end. Remember, he isn’t on the rebound, he isn’t new from some sweaty closet, and he hasn’t come to me riddled with self-doubt or jaded by relations with many, many men.
I have looked into the eyes of too many men who were simply not there.