The days between me and the operation dwindle.
The rain has fallen steadily over Malibu these past weeks. As unseasonal as it may be it comes as a great relief to those of us who live up here during what is normally described as Fire Season. One can only hope that it remains damp rather than tinder dry.
An encouraging weekend of old and new friends. New friends include a charming Pepperdine student who came for tea on Sunday evening and another internet date who was almost perfect…but not. He was intelligent, handsome and age appropriate. Our unusual date started at Intelligensia on Abbott Kinney, a trip to Home Depo to buy chlorine tablets and lunch at Sauce.
I replaced the cap that I lost at Stronghold.
I have no idea if we will ever see each other again but he made the possibility of meeting someone appropriate in the future very real and that in itself was a great diversion from my crazy head.
At lunch we both discussed our recent relationship issues and rather amazingly he became quite emotional: he had been the Jake half of his relationship. Eager to hold onto someone who loved him but wanted to sleep with other men.
Why?
Today there is another house viewing and I must make a start on my script.
Saturday therapy went well. Today I went to an early session in the Palisades. I emerge from these groups feeling stronger and more complete. All in all it has been a very gratifying weekend. I am somehow not prone to the great fear. Perhaps this has something to do with the full moon or maybe I am just not taking any notice of the demons.
The house is so beautiful today. The spa is working. Ashley pays her rent on time. The work on the road to the PCH has resumed. The dogs are well behaved. Why go and ruin it with invasive surgery?
I am making a huge oxtail stew for our dinner. The sort of recipe that takes two days to do properly. Every day I must do something creative in some sort of way.
Life is serving up a great and perfect opportunity. I can feel it. After the heavy rain, the plants are convinced it is springtime. New growth, budding cacti and the great orchid trees in the garden are suddenly covered in succulent pink flowers.
Barry from Whitstable is on his way here to stay en route to his new life in Australia. It will be fun to have him here.
One reply on “closer and closer”
What I wish for you Duncan is to be centered, calm and confident prior to the operation. To be trusting in the skills of your clinical caregivers and “carefree” in the confidence that they know how to manage your comfort will make a serious difference in your experience as odd as that sounds. Fear increases pain. Find a way, subjectively, to embrace radical trust and confidence. It will make all the difference. Objectively, the peer-reviewed literature indicates excellent outcomes. Best, L