Trader Joe’s

Frank collected Willy from me yesterday afternoon. It was so sad to see him go.

Frank looked very handsome, returning from Brazil where he had been shooting his pilot. Such a serious boy. I like that.

As I collected Willy’s bits and pieces I nearly cried. He is a wonderful, kind, loyal dog. A real dog. Not like The Little Dog who really is a human trapped in a dog’s body, with all our human delights and foibles.

I woke by the lake again this morning. The twins are staying here so it feels just like nothing has changed.

Jen and Jason now have staff: a cook and a cleaner. I could get used to this. They also have an errant, fledgling addict, thirteen year old boy. He was out last night being a lost teen.

OK, this will delight my more homophobic readers.

We dropped into my favorite super market…and for anyone who has recently moved to LA and doesn’t already know…Trader Joe’s is by far the best super market in town. It is clean, easily negotiated, good products and will not cost an arm and a leg.

So, after I had loaded the trolly with the good stuff we sat in line waiting to be checked out. Lucas, the handsome young man at the till was discussing going to church with a morbidly obese male. So, when it came to my turn I asked him what sort of church he was looking for.

He said, “Moderately conservative.”

Well, you know what that means don’t you? It means creationism and homo hate.

So I said, “So that means you believe that Dinosaurs were on the ark and all gays are the devils work?”

He looked askance and said, “I don’t care if gays exist, as long as they don’t do anything in front of me.”

“What do you mean?” my blood began to boil, “You want me to live invisibly and in shame, well fuck you.”

I grabbed my smoked trout away from him. “This gay wants you to know that your hate filled brand of Michelle Bachmann Christianity STINKS!”

“I don’t want homosexuals to do anything sexual.” He stumbled.

He was a good-looking man, he had that look in his eye and I just KNEW what his problem was. I had seen it before. He wanted me to know, the gay who was trapped inside this Christian prison…he was dying. I could hear him screaming…help me!

He picked up the coffee beans and asked if I had a grinder.

“I’m gay, of course I have a grinder.”

Another man arrived suddenly and told Lucas that he was relieved, he didn’t have to serve the mad gay any more.

We filled the car with the groceries.

I decided to ask the store manager if Trader Joe’s had any gay or lesbian policy. I was told that the company was privately owned and just employed the best man or woman for the job regardless of sexual orientation, colour or religion.

Trader Joe’s said officially:

“Trader Joe’s policies do not allow discrimination or harassment based on sexual orientation,” a spokeswoman said. “In addition, we do extend all health benefits to same-sex domestic partners. We have addressed gender diversity on many levels and in our opinion are leaders in this area. ”

I do hope that the Trader Joe management make the handsome young man who serves at Agoura Hills Trader Joe’s just off the 101 freeway aware that gays are not going anywhere.

As I said to Lucas when I left the store. “Let’s hope that your child is born gay so you can delight in him, love him unconditionally and help him live a free and open life.”

Amen.