Delete My Facebook

“Gagged by snobbery.” I like that. That’s what happens in England. I’d forgotten.

I deleted my Facebook to see how it felt. Well, it feels pretty damned weird. Just suddenly cutting out a whole world of communication. Can I do it?

Like stepping back in time. I am an Edwardian Gentleman. Another procrastination eliminated?

I began decoupling myself from social media. Facebook was kinda easy. Twitter less so. I can ‘protect my tweets’ what ever that means.

I wonder how long I can stay away from Facebook?

Give me some time. What else? This. I can set this to private. I’ve tried before but failed.

The dog is farting toxic farts this evening.

This weekend I met someone I had ‘friended’ on Facebook some time ago, we had sparred, ‘liked’ and written to each other. When I actually met him he was short, rude and surly…and orange…like a bald snookie.

I want real people in my life…not virtual ones.

Part of the problem I had with fuck-face was: he thought I was one thing when I am without doubt totally different from what he imagined me to be. Mind you, he did what many of you have done, he confused what he saw on TV with the real deal.

As for seeing him again last week? Same venue, usual shit, the same absurd grin…these people are like petulant children. He told his father (the shrink) that I was crazy. Uh? Crazier? More crazy than when he met me? Who is the crazy one?

There was a moment when I walked too close to him and he began flailing his short arms. Pointing at me…calling over the deputies. Well, Jenny and I just left the building and had lunch.

I wonder if he will ever realize how absurd this all is? That it means nothing.

What did he want me to be?

I am neither sophisticated nor particularly educated. I take what little I have and spin it into a life.

Other people tell me that their ex lovers try to blame everyone other than themselves for their wrongdoing. He tried blaming his ex too, it was her fault for not realizing that he was gay…because he had ‘no interest in sports’. He was so angry with her.

It is a common theme…not to accept ones part…amongst those who mistreat their lovers.

Forced to listen to absurd justifications. I used to think that everything he did was somehow original because I had never encountered it before.

Now, more than ever, I see that he is merely unevolved.

That’s ok.

I know that as he grows older, has other meaningful relationships…he will learn.

Waking up next to a beautiful boy this weekend.

Having beautiful boys to look at first thing in the morning…always charges the soul.

Here he is:

Spent time with Z and T. We had a lovely time. Read Vanity Fair whilst traveling. Conrad Black, unashamedly talking about his time in prison. I don’t know how I feel about that. There are real crimes…and he committed them.

By 4am I began to feel totally bereft and reinstated Facebook. An exercise in futility. That’s how pathetic I am. I have an English friend called Craig who deleted all but 500 of his 2000 ‘friends’. I envy him. I am naked out there. Too many people know too much. Obviously they only need know up until today. After today they need know nothing.

I am already blogging less. Revealing less.

I had not prepared before I deleted my Facebook account. If I ever do it for more than 12 hours I will prepare. There are some friends I see in the real world who I make plans with on Facebook.

This weekend was dramatic in other ways. Started out well enough then disintegrated.