Before

When I was a kid complete strangers would ask me why I had thick, black curly hair. As both my brothers and my ‘father’ had red hair..I really had no clue. I told them, “I had red hair once but after the car our car accident..it turned black.” I really didn’t know why I looked so different from everyone else in my family. I just had to make up an answer. It didn’t ever feel like a lie. Nobody would tell me why I looked so different. Not until after..not until the damage was done.

5 replies on “Before”

I can relate with this so much. I was adopted by a lesbian couple when I was three. My adoptive moms are both white. I was always the odd one out with tan skin, jet black hair and brown eyes. I remember lookijng at books of Native Americans and making up stories in my head about how my parents were killed in some battle and my new moms adopted me. I made it all sound so romantic. In June I finally got documentation about my birth mom and dad, I also found out I’m the 7th of 8 kids born addicted to various drugs 3 months premature. It was a lot to take in all at once. My childhood fantasy destroyed. I’m still not 100 percent sure of what I think about it.

Hi Duncan,
I read your blog every day but only started a couple of months ago. Would you please give me the links to your previous blogs because I have missed out your childhood and although I can gather that you were abused, I would like to read. I am not some old pervert who gets a kick out of this, my husband works for a Youth Organisation where he counsells young abused and gay men from the age of 12 – 18.
I type a lot of his referalls and therefore read the stories which are so sad. These young people, girls and boys grow up not knowing who they are and have no self worth. Many commit suicide, many turn to drugs, drink, prostitution etc. Very few can put it behind them. My husband, who had been doing this job for over 20 years, says that all these children NEVER EVER GET OVER THE ABUSE. He tries his very best, sweats bloody and tears, but teaches them to live and ‘manage’ what is in their heads. A lot of these do gooders think that with counselling these kids can get over it, but they can’t. You would know better than anyone.
Why are you leaving it so long until you have your operation. Just go and get it done. Cancer in any form is so treatable these days. If you leave it, it may be too late. Just get up and go and get it done. Sod the house and the money. You wont need any of that wen you are 6ft under, pushing up the daffs!!

Be brave.

Love and best wishes,

Jenny xxx