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Gay Rant Rehab

Doc Day Afternoon

Cooking for eight this evening.  I’ve not cooked properly for months.  I have cooked like an American..thrown things together but not cooked properly..like I am want to do.

I am going to find a huge shoulder of lamb somewhere and stuff it with rosemary and garlic.  It has been so chilly here that a good gigot and roasted root vegetables makes perfect sense.   Perhaps a summer pudding?  I wish I could find gooseberries for a summer crumble.  I am going to make custard.

Lunch with Joel at SHLA.  I paid.  Why?  Bumped into Drew Pinsky and Tom Arnold.  Lovely to see Drew.  I mentioned the CNN thing, Tom said that Montana Fishburne has no money from her father and Drew concluded that her decision to do porn was probably based on her giving her father the finger.  Montana on the next rehab show?  Perhaps.

After lunch I had a lump on my testicle checked out by a very nice doctor in Beverly Hills.  I must have an ultrasound tomorrow.  I could be castrated by the weekend if things don’t work out.  Hmmm…then I could become a transsexual.  My secret desire for so many years.

This morning was, of course, Wednesday therapy at 7.30.   I shared that the companion had referred to us as we yesterday in relation to my doctor’s appointment..as in, ‘we’ll get through it’ rather than, ‘you’ll get through it’.   I felt a tear welling up in my wizened eye.  When I mentioned that to Jon he said, ” A smidgen of compassion?  Is that all it takes?”

Strangely it was the companion who mentioned just how cynical, bitter and washed up most of the gay men he met were.    He should try hanging out with addicts.

I read a Newsweek article by Howard Fineman that made me so sad.  Sad because I agreed with his miserable assessment of America’s standing in the rest of the world.  I’m not an idiot, I can see the rich tearing down anything they can lay their hands on, plundering this country while the poor cling to their huge cars and wars and patriotism.  Clinging to their tatty bill of rights, their eviscerated constitution.

I was sad because I have never felt more like an American as I do now and wish it wasn’t so that the roads are fucked, that the Christians are in charge, that the gays get infected with HIV because they think it’s like living with diabetes.

I was sad because my miserable and oft mocked USA is a Third World Country prophecy is coming true.  That my pessimistic assessment of the American Economy coming back from the brink is even worst than I expected.   Please say it ain’t true.

Even my rich middle class manufacturing friends are limping from one foreign order to another, limping but believing (as they have always believed) that the unregulated free market and not government will make everything better.

6 replies on “Doc Day Afternoon”

Hey Duncan, just saw you on JVM, LOOKING GOOD!
I hope the ultra sound goes your way.

Also, the lamb sounds great, have you tried ‘Weeping Lamb’? a recipe from Harrods Persian cook book by Marylin Aslani.
Prepared with rosemary and garlic, stuffed with plums and walnuts and cooked on a wire tray over a tray of Okra, carrots, courgettes, and green beans, the juices of the lamb drip on to the vegetables and that is served with persian rice and dill.

Irena,

OMG! That lamb sounds amazing, as does Duncan’s menu. Libra, here. Moon in Taurus. You guys make me want to ooze through the computer and haunt your dinner tables. Of course I wouldn’t be able to eat… but I could feast my eyes. LOL 😉

Blessings,

Amanda

Duncan,

As I said to Irena, your menu sounds soooo good. As for Montana Fishburne being on the next rehab show… I don’t know about the next one, but rehab &/or therapy of some sort sure does seems likely and hopefully soon.

I know that I, as well as many of your readers and fans will be keeping a good thought for you and many of the spiritual will be praying for a good outcome when you go for the ultrasound. Many women go through this scare with lumps being found and it turns out to be no more than cysts or at worst, benign tumors. Right now, it’s just scary words and probably the scary emotions that are carried like heavy freight when that train gets rolling. Nothing bad has happened yet. Stay frosty. Stay positive. We’re with you. And I’m glad that you’re getting support from the companion. Good on him.

Read the “Newsweek” article. Bummer. Unfortunately, although I’m not as pessimistic, I do have to agree that we’ve done much to undermine our standing in the world with the previous administration’s “My way or the highway” and “If you’re not with us, you’re against us” rhetoric. Plus, we are responsible — because of the derivatives debacle — for the financial problems that the rest of the world is experiencing because they trusted us and invested. People are pissed off here at home as well. However, I am reminded of a movie that was a favorite of a friend of mine, “The Unsinkable Molly Brown” based on the true life of a woman who came from nothing, became incredible wealthy and survived the sinking of the Titanic. You can’t keep us down. Even if we’ve tripped over our own dicks, to borrow a phrase from a recent “Rolling Stone” article. We survived the Depression and thrived. I just have to believe that it won’t take a world war to bring us out of this decline of our finances and national confidence. If we can put the computing power that sent a man to the moon, that used to fill a room, into a laptop, we can do anything. We can get through this without sacrificing our standard or living or continuing to pollute the planet. We can think outside the box. We can work in harmony with the rest of the world to raise us all up. We can tune into our soul’s wisdom, change our brains, our bodies and our actions.

Yes, I am a relentless optimist.

Blessings,

Amanda

I agree 100% with you the free market has killed this country economically. I remember back in the days when sending gifts to family members overseas. It had to be Made in the USA because it was the best manufacture in the world, besides other European countries. It has taken a solid 20 years to dilapidate the riches of the government. It was the biggest mistake of the Clinton administrations and I love Bill Clinton. I don’t think taxing the rich will fix the hole left off by the free trade. All the well paid jobs that made this country the so call American Dream is now gone. The paranoia of the American people is rampant. The new found hate and racial profiling is a way to distract people of the real issues. The Senators and lobbyst with their own agendas all based in greed, covered up by false patriotism. It tastes like hopelessness and is not a good flavor.

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