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art Rant

PUKE

Guess who I received a long letter from yesterday when I got back from the Emmy do at SHLA?  Yes, you guessed it…Jake. What a smarmy bastard..of course he couldn’t just let it all go.  He couldn’t leave me alone.  He had to reach out.  Just as I was NOT thinking about him, getting right with our situation.  DAMN.  I was in such a positive mood.

I went to bed feeling all confused and mushy again.  Thinking all manner of absurd things.

He timidly suggested that we don’t meet for the time being.  How about we never EVER meet?   Why don’t you just fuck off and lean on some of your other friends like you lent on me for support?  They’ll get sick of you too, bleating and moaning and missing her.

So, why was he writing?   He asked for his full name to be removed from the blog which I did ..then I re-read his letter.  It was all about him.  Blah fucking blah about his coming out and how much I meant to him.  Bullshit.  If I had meant anything to him he wouldn’t have contacted me.  Not once did he enquire about my continuing health problem..not once.  The more I thought about it the more annoyed I became.

He asked after the ‘darling’ little dog which nearly made me PUKE.

So, I called him and left a long message on his phone.  I told him never ever to contact me again.  That his mate had emailed me from Mt. Kisco to tell me that he was laughing at me with Jake and other friends behind my back.  That I hated him.  I wanted him to hear my voice.  That I meant what I was saying.  That I am serious.  Like when you call your dealer and tell them to lose your number.  Like when you tell your friends that you are not coming out for a drink.

The funny thing was he didn’t want to demonize me..well Jake, that’s very reassuring.   I am having NO TROUBLE demonizing YOU.

So annoying!  I had been really getting my head together.

Saw George Clooney, said Hi.  He seemed to remember me from the evening Sharon introduced us at Chateau Marmont.

Had dinner with Toby at Pace..his steak cost $50.  My soup $8.  I drew these:

10 replies on “PUKE”

Duncan,

I’m so very sorry. I hope that at least you had a fun time last night at SHLA. Are those sketches of the dresses that were worn, or your ideas of what should have been worn? Or modifications of what was worn? Why don’t you tell us who you thought the best and worst dressed were and why? That might be fun.

As for JB, if you had any doubt before, this should make crystal clear, just what kind of man he is. Since you forgave him of his debt to you, because of reports of his “hurt” at your anger towards him — crocodile tears — he probably thought that he could trespass against you… yet again. Figured that he could wheedle his way back into your life on his terms. Figured that that way, the friends of yours that he burned himself with by treating you so badly, would be back on is contact list again. In case he needed to use them. I’m sorry that it came down to you having to tell him to fuck off, when you really did want to be kind and gentlemanly. Sadly, some people mistake kindness for weakness. How wrong, on so many levels.

Good on you. There are sadly, some people that need to be surgically removed from one’s life. Cleanly and irrevocably. And if you were still bleeding a bit, hopefully, your anger will finally cauterize the wound.

I’m so very, very sorry.

Blessings,

Amanda

P.S. I meant to thank you the other day for introducing us to Polari. Interesting to find out that zhoosh is not just a neologism that came into use after “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy”. And I swear I heard naff used on “Pinky And The Brain”… by Pinky. LOL Adventures in language. Such fun.

Reminds me of my ex-husband. Asked me for a date IMMEDIATELY after our court appearance for a divorce. Hadn’t noticed how disgusted the judge was by the stories I had to tell. Kept asking for sex when I brought the kids for a visit and he thought he was in love with me again. Did his best to convince people I was a horrible person but wouldn’t take ANY responsibility for the children, financially or otherwise. None of his children want anything to do with him, and haven’t for years. The loneliest I have ever been in my life was in bed with him. People like that live in their own little world and you are well rid of them/him.

Oohhhhhhhhhhh, Jake…
self-involved AND stupid.
Guess he didn’t like being ‘Google-able’ on such an intimate level.

(Did you remove his last name from the blog )

To catharsis!

Duncan,

Meant to ask… what WAS that $50 steak? A pound of Kobe beef topped with foie gras? LOL

Blessings,

Amanda

i think puke aptly describes jake. also shmuck, tosser, wanker, tool, ..one could go on and on.
2 steps forward D, 2 back , but your gonna be ok.
im assuming jakes reads all this, so honey we all know what you are, we dont need your last name to spot bullshit.

This will not be the last time you hear from him. He is a narcissist bastard and his intentions are obvious. He wants to hurt you by not akcnowledging your health, he feels humiliated. He is living hell, he must think that everyone on the streets knows who he is. Paranoia is punishment enough, imagine how heightened that becomes with drugs, and a wet brain just pure hell.

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