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Rehab

What a Waste

I always assume that anyone I meet is gay, the same way straight people assume (unless a flaming queen) every man they meet is straight.  Consequently most straight men I meet are perplexed at the sort of small talk I make with them.  Last week for instance someone mentioned that he was meeting his fiance and I said, “He’s a lucky guy to be marrying you.” This caused him to nearly drop his wine glass.  He spluttered nervously that he was straight.  “Oh!” I said as he dabbed at dribbled wine over his jacket.  “What a waste.”

Now, I am NOT the sort of man who thinks every man I meet is gay but I must always assume that he is until told otherwise.  It’s the only way these men are going to learn how to be inclusive.

Another funny example: two men having lunch with their small dog.  As they were leaving I asked them about their dog and mentioned how, in my opinion, a dog really improves a relationship…were they thinking about having children?  They looked increasingly horrified as they realised that I thought that they were a couple.  They said, “Oh, we’re not gay.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  We’re straight.”

The reaction always amuses me.  Men are still insulted by the insinuation that they might be gay.   Pathetic.

Update on Irene the mad woman from Hawaii.  Last night she informed me that she had called the Lost Hills Police Department reporting me as a terrorist.  I am assuming because my father was Persian?  Anyway, so far Homeland Security have not interviewed me about this and I imagine that they won’t be any time soon.

Why doesn’t she just go to small claims court?

Anyway, she is reporting me to the IRS, the California Governor etc. etc.  To Irene I am a regular Bernie Madoff.

The bottom line:  even if I wanted to benevolently return the money she says is owed to her she has caused such internet havoc and destruction I simply can’t.  I am not going to.  She thinks that her internet attacks on me are somehow going to force my hand.  What she simply cannot comprehend is the following fact about me:  I do not care about my ‘reputation’.  As I mentioned to her last night during one of her frenzied email bombardments the worst has already been said about me, nothing that she says is either new or bothers me.

Finally, last night, her gay friend sent me an odious email mocking my cancer scare.   All for $800?  They want me dead for $800?

Great morning at therapy today.  Wonderful.  I am in very good spirits.  mainly because I don’t have a blood sucking fame whore at my tit sucking the life out of me.  Oh, it’s 4pm on the east coast, he is probably already stoned, on web cam showing off his only asset.

The most annoying thing about Jake is that before meeting him that cold January afternoon in the East Village I had a meeting with agent David Vigliano who was really interested in working with me.  Jake called him Vig the pig.

I have a GREAT idea.  Irene you should call him, perhaps he’ll offer you and your friend a book deal.

Never assume men are straight until they tell you categorically that they are.

It just isn’t worth it.

5 replies on “What a Waste”

I’m a semi-straight woman. I assume that everyone is gay until otherwise notified. Then I don’t believe them anyway.

is it just me or am i the only person who really doesnt even think about any one i have met, sexuality?
mind you most people i meet are customers and or men i work with and it doesnt rank high in my curiousity about them ..ever.
it is really amusing, that when my company moves a gay couple how uncomfortable the men i work with get tho,great fun to watch them squirm. and D the only kinda terrorist you are is with words, funny as hell when some one pisses u off !!

Hi Duncan,

This isn’t really relevant to the above post but I thought I’d write it here so that you’d be more likely to see it. I work for Directors UK and we’ve had some mailings that we’ve sent you returned to us undelivered. I understand from your blog that you live in the US now so that would explain it! Could you please email me at [email protected] to provide us with your current contact details? Here’s our website with more information about the company: http://www.directors.uk.com/

Kind regards.

Duncan,

The “What a waste.” comment was priceless. You really do like to throw a cat amongst the pigeons, don’t you? 😉

I guess since I’m not sorting people by whether or not I can fuck them, I really don’t care if they’re gay or straight. I’m more interested in whether I can actually have a conversation with them. And noticing how they treat the people they interact with while I’m observing. (I despise people that treat waitstaff or store clerks like something they scraped off their shoes.) Not that I’m blind to beauty but I’m way past the stage where if you acted like a bastard or had a reputation for being one, it didn’t matter as long as you were hot and available. Thank God! How sad that the majority of people still sort that way. Even if they’re not hunting for a hook up. This society is so hyper-sexual that it’s pathetic.

As for Irene… I have a feeling that soon you’ll be singing “Good Night, Irene” because if she’s phoning in false complaints to the cops simply to cause you harassment, which is pretty damn obvious, she’s going to have a lot more to worry about than feeling ill-used because she couldn’t recoup $800 to which she wasn’t entitled. The cops don’t look kindly on that kind of crap. Come to think of it, neither do the Feds. Blown up with her own petard. Now wouldn’t THAT be amusing?

David Vigliano. So… Jake messed up your meeting? Or you missed the meeting because of him? Vigliano’s not interested in working with you because…? Is there so much animus between you that it can’t be repaired? You and Vigliano. Not you and — him. Heaven forfend.

As for the gay friend of Irene’s being vicious… I was told a long time ago, that when someone is harboring ill will toward you, even if they’re seriously trying to psychically harm you, all you have to do is stay positive and wait them out. All that negativity is very draining and toxic, to them. It takes far more energy to try to maintain that level of animosity than for someone to stay positive. The universe comes down on the side of growth, life and healing. Every time. Just try and stay centered with your Higher Power and you’re in like Flynn. (Been watching too much TCM, lately.) 😉

Blessings,

Amanda

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