Happy Today

I am happy today.  You know there are so many good things happening to me and more importantly to those around me.

It’s so easy to write about being miserable.  It’s easy to indulge our fears.  It’s easy to blame the world for all of the bad things but I ALWAYS forget to tell you when I am happy.  Perhaps I am not sitting at my desk when the happiness comes?  I think that may be the truth because I am out in the world experiencing my joy.

I am with friends, climbing the canyon, writing and reading.

My joy is NOT dependant on any one person.  My joy comes from listening to Joni Mitchell, sitting in the sunlight of the spirit and reveling in the triumph of watching my friend Jennie celebrate her one year of continuous sobriety.  Oh, and before you say it, I am sure I am not meant to be discussing her ONE-YEAR publicly but I am.  After all she has worked so hard to get to this place of authenticity.

Most of you witnessed how she changed on TV.  How we all began this remarkable rescue mission-rescuing ourselves from oblivion, self-hatred and isolation.

Change comes in great gobs never in dribs and drabs.    So this change is all about not wanting to be at the mercy of others, understanding that I can never trust my perception.  It is always wrong.   This change comes from giving into not wanting to change the way I feel.   I have put a lifetimes of effort into separating myself from everyone.  Emotional Boom and Bust.

By watching Jennie flourish I can hitch my wagon to her well planned recovery.  I learn from everyone who comes into my life.  Everyone.

If I have to be on my own then so be it.  But I needn’t punish the world by keeping those around me at arms length.  It’s time to let you in.  Let you be my friend, my colleague, my lover, my mother and my brother.

Being happy does not mean that I ignore suffering, ignore inequity, ignore insensitivity but I don’t have to make it mine.  I needn’t own the suffering of the world and use that as a reason to ruin my own chances.

There are hurdles, great ravines and deep chasms that hinder the direct path that any man needs to take in the great journey of life.    But rather than dwell on what may or may not get in my way I can enjoy the wind in my hair and the sun on my face as I get to where I am going.

I would rather wear a compass than a watch-after all it is best to know where I am going than what time I get there.

When I am scary I am most probably scared.

I don’t want to be that scary man I can be.  I want to be free and if I only get a glimpse of freedom today and just for a few hours then as least I have experienced the feeling and have something to work toward, something I am capable of.

Have a great day everyone.  Remember that there is a solution-so start living in it.

16 replies on “Happy Today”

It makes me smile to see that you are happy today. It’s a lot easy to write about when you’re feeling down or depressed and a lot tougher to write about happiness. 🙂 I hope this happiness stays with you for a long time.

… and I thought the Cheese sandwich made ME happy! Stay there for awhile.. Happiness.. we all deserve it~

I needed to hear this today. Many different struggles going on in my head today…do I stay or do I go? Loved reading about happiness. xo

Your words today are like a gentle breeze on my cheek and warm sunshine on my face. Thank you for sharing your happiness.

Extremely happy that you are happy! Hold out your arms and the world will come to you!

I would be really happy if i has some banana walnut loaf, HA! its lovely to see you happy D, sometimes it makes the hard times worth the struggle. Work it!

…….Duncan…We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. ~Frederick Keonig

dont separate… embrace…! You have the ability to over think… but take a step back and look at yourself from a different angle. You have achived so much and are willing to take others under your wing; this is a precious quality. I had the moment to say so much and instead i held back due to my lack of confidence and ablility to let out what is in my “blackbox” i felt that i did not embrace someone when they needed someone to embrace them… Time is a wonderfull healer and being happy is your best friend…!! let things go; as you know that if the opportunity had arised you would have solved what is sticking in your head. Thanks for the free therapy… it was much appreciated. keep smiling buddy and im looking forward to being as open on our next encounter.!!! (then i can be less aprehensive and more of just being me) I look forward to the moment. XX SJG

Cheers mate, to you and Jennie, you are happy!hip hip hurray!!!! I am so glad you are feeling better and accepting of yourself. I have been watching Jennie this week and she looks like a different girl, so healthy and fresh faced.Serenity brings about physical changes too.
love always to you dear Duncan.

One other thing, thank you for the mantra ‘stay in the moment’ it is helping me so much, I can stave off the panic attacks of memories by just repeating this til I get back to ‘now’.


I can hear the happiness as you write this post. It’s so great that you’re more and more, allowing the joy of an (extra)/ordinary day into your heart. I know that the better you get at staying oriented with your new compass of sobriety, that the more you WILL be able to trust your perception because the eyes of your soul will able to give you perspective and will keep you balanced and on a true compass heading to wherever you’re meant to be.

I’m sure that Jennie won’t mind her dear friend kvelling with pride for her accomplishment. If each of us has a little light to shine… that lady is a firecracker. The effulgence of her soul is amazing.

I do wish that you would stop telling yourself things like “If I have to be on my own then so be it.” You just need time to heal and grow into the man that you are meant to be. Then, when the person you are meant to be with comes into your ken, you will recognize them and assured that you are worthy, you won’t sabotage yourself. Maybe your right person needs a little time to metamorphose in their chrysalis and heal their soul as well, so that when they emerge, they will be able to fly straight and true and find you. Keep the faith.



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