An odd and contradictory day began with my Saturday morning breakfast buddies.  They were all so fractious!  I ate a three cheese pizza with prosciutto.    It was delicious.

The night before was spent chatting with the other who was drunk and emotional.  Today I invited him to come with me to London but the ‘pressure’ was just too much.  Apparently it is hard to just be friends when we are still awash with uncharted feelings.

The truth is I am just not as involved as I was.  I am ACTIVELY seeking other men to fall in love with.  An invitation is an invitation and that’s that.  Whereas before I would find his indifference and hesitation devastating asking many times if he would change his mind-this time there will be no repeat invitation.

Jennie moved out of her apartment here in Hollywood and in with her west side boyfriend.

I received some bad, bad news yesterday whilst on my way home from Malibu and it took a whole 24 hours to process what to do next-waiting for the next intuitive thought.  Bad news bottom line:  the little dog and I will be making our way to London and Paris for longer than I expected.   Perhaps for three months.  Perhaps it means making my movie there rather than here.  Perhaps it’s all for the best.  Anyway, I can’t write the detail because the devil is in the detail.

Today, I attended two fundraisers and was asked on two dates.  I declined-kindly declined.

I discovered that my heart was still taken by the attentions of folk who live elsewhere and even though I have no intention of rekindling any sort of relationship or entertaining the idea of a relationship ever again with the folk who live elsewhere (and even though I am actively searching to have a relationship with a man who might live on my very street) it would be unfair to anyone who is interested in me to get involved whilst there are unresolved and deeply held complex feelings.

Everyone is a little bit discombobulated at the moment.  A li’l bit prone to rudeness.  A fat red haired woman trod on the little dog with such force that he screamed and emptied his anal glands all over a very posh shop.

I had a lovely dinner with Jane in WeHo then wandered home, throngs of young people with big smiles on their faces weaving up Sunset Boulevard.