Rant Self Sufficiency

New York 2010

Having a blast here-so far away from the trials of Los Angeles.  No car, no worries, just me and a small suitcase and whole lot of hope.

Now, deliciously, I also have a pair of pink and black leather shoes that only I and a handful of truly stylish, brave friends could wear.

Thank you Comme des Garçons, thank you Rei Kawakubo. Thank you style Gods.

How many of you look at charlieissocoollike on You Tube?  Real name Charlie Mc Donnell.  I love him-no, not like that.  He’s only 19, fresh, funny and talented.  My friend Mr S Fry made a charming end credit for him.  I will write more about Mr Mc Donnall soon but do check out Charlie’s Duet with Myself.

Did I tell you that I had TERRIBLE food poisoning after our delicious lunch at The Standard Grill?  The rabbit ragu served with the ‘home made’ pasta and chanterells did me in.  I have not vomited for YEARS.  I mean, hanging over the pan and violently chucking up the entire contents of my belly whilst simultaneously shitting my white comme des garcons under pants.

I love NYC.

I don’t expect much from life.  I really don’t.  But I get so little in LA.  Like so many people I may end up being one of it’s finest victims but…I doubt it.  I am heading east.  I’ll tell you all sooner or later why.

The goat project has been put on hold until I have some more spare cash.  The film I want to make is ready to be born so I will just make it.  I may just be in it.  I am all a quiver about making a new film.  Can’t get it out of my head.

My friend Joan thinks that I am all over the place but that’s how it has always been-all over the place.

I tweeted today about being grateful.  It’s easy to complain about life, then when it gets better forget to be grateful. I am sitting in a warm, well decorated room overlooking the Hudson River, my belly full and friends to see.  What more could I want?

I am really glad that I came to the USA for as long as I have.  I have learned so much from you people.  Good and Bad.

More facts emerging from the Kristian Digby funeral fiasco.  Kristian’s mad mother apparently very dismissive about KD at funeral to his visibly upset father.  Friends and some family members and work colleagues unable to attend the funeral-asked to stay away.   Real friends got together at tree in Torquay and buried box of memories.  One friend reporting that Kristian’s coffin was dragged into church rather than carried respectfully.    I will repeat my earlier assertions:  Kristian’s mother is an insensitive hag who ruined great portions of her son’s life.  The truth will out Mrs Digby.

Met some PR type gay in Soho House the other night.  Single. attractive but after ten minutes of conversation..really ought to have stayed in the closet.  BACK IN THE CLOSET for you young man.  He told me I needed to filter what I was saying-we were talking about politics.  What a fucking boooooar.

Finally, did I mention to you how much I loathe Sophie Dahl?  How she went out of her way to ruin my experience of LA?  That poor sweet crooner husband of hers will see straight through her conniving ways sooner or later.  You can’t marry a woman 8 inches taller than you-why?  Because you never get to look her directly in the eye.

There’s nothing more exhilarating that an unresolved resentment don’t you think?  One day I will recount the entire sordid story for your delectation.

Jake and the Virgin Jake and Duncan Jake Jake Jake butt Jake in bed Jake in Bed 2 Jake Bauman Soho House

8 replies on “New York 2010”

Those are some seriously bad ass shoes. Kinda likin the socks too.
And you are all over the place, but if it works for you, and it seems too, why not?
I think any mother who behaves like that, theres a special place in Hell for people like that. Shame on her.
I have to disagree with you on unresolved resentment, its some what of a open sore, a cancer if you will.
Even if i have some myself, i cant see that its done me any good, besides irritating my soul. And causing pain. Just my humble Holly opinion tho, throw some salt over your shoulder, it gets you just as far.
Glad to see you enjoying yourself D. Bout damn time.


You sound HAPPY! I am so GLAD. The first thing I noticed was you and your new kicks in the picture. It’s great that you’re getting such a lift out of simple things, like a new pair of shoes; I mean really enjoying them, instead of making a purchase unconsciously, that maybe just sits in the closet with the tags on or rarely gets worn because there are so many others vying for attention. [Somewhat repentant shoe fanatic, here. ;)] It seems that the change in longitude and atmosphere is having a beneficial effect on you.

As for the meal? Could it maybe have been the chanterelles? My first thought was that since they’re expensive & wild, that the supplier or the restaurant might have substituted a small portion of something else to offset the cost or &/or make a bigger profit. Then I found this: “Very few people eat chanterelles raw. They are peppery and upsetting, and they can make some people ill. In any case, their finest flavor can only be appreciated when they are thoroughly cooked.” So, maybe they were undercooked? It’s from this website, of “Wild About Mushrooms: The Cookbook of the Mycological Society of San Francisco”, where there are some mouth-watering recipes, including “Golden Chanterelle Puffs”, “Mushroom Biscuits” & “Chicken Breasts With Chanterelles”. Although there are some white (scarce) & black (rare) ones, I’m assuming that the ones that you had were golden or apricot in color. Sorry. It sounded that it would have been a wonderful meal if it hadn’t attacked you. 🙁

Gratitude opens the door from where you are to where you want to be and where you can be planted so you can grow. DO EXPECT A GOOD LIFE. You’ve had so much negativity and pain in your life that it’s easy to have the kind of black humour where you laugh at or kick yourself before someone else does or you reiterate your bad luck. But words have energy & if you put out more negativity it will accrue. Your subconscious is programmed to give you what your conscious mind dwells on and reinforces. Reinforcing the positive in your thoughts & actions reprograms the computer in your brain to bring you the good stuff. BELIEVE! You CAN have the creative success you want. You CAN have s loving, long lasting relationship with a soulmate. You CAN heal and be well.

As for the short women/men and tall partners thing… Randy Newman’s “Short People” must have been playing in your head (Maybe he met your frienemy). LOL I will quote a friend of mine who at 5′ 2″, married a dude who was 6′ 4″. To whit: we see eye to eye when & where it counts. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. And philosophically, of course. 🙂

And the PR guy… well, maybe he was trying to be helpful. He deals in that world after all, that sells the sizzle and doesn’t care if there’s a steak behind all the publicity, (it’s not what they get paid for). And tries to make the public not care as well. With you, image and person are more congruent, and that scares the hell out of people who are used to being hypocritical and insincere for a living. There are a lot of people living in glass houses, who do throw stones. they just try & shield themselves from the boomerang. Like you said, it seems that what you judge, you walk through. Gotta admit, too, dude, when you go on a tear, you are wicked funny. And aside from NOT dwelling on bad things, bad people, bad situations… it’s good to lance those fulminating boils and get the poison out once in a while. Cheers! to a healthier you. It doesn’t sound like the two women that you mentioned are terribly happy people for all their position in society. Sometimes people create their own hells and unfortunately, try and drag other people into the pit with them. Kristian was lucky to get away. The husband you mentioned… maybe he thinks that he can save her. Who knows?

Happy to hear that you’re “all a quiver about making a new film”. Rock on, dude. Bravo!



Those shoes ROCK!!!!!
Sophie Dahl? cooking show? whaaat? when did a little known actress start to be known for her cooking? Any way she looks like an Oompaloompah. Thats prob where Roald Dahl got his idea.


Um… . Had assumed (Yes, ass, u, me, got it.) that Sophie was the short one. (Not a fashionista, hence missed the “Vogue” cover, nor am I up on English society.) Looked up Sophie Dahl. Looked up Jamie Cullum. Saw pictures of the two of them, together. She does look like a bit of an Amazon, doesn’t she, compared to him? The only thing that I can offer is that there seems to be an inevitable conjunction between model/actresses and musicians. As to the height difference, hearkening back to a by gone era, there was the odd couple of Dudley Moore and Susan Anton. Different strokes.

As to her personality… no clue. I’m sorry that she made your life so difficult. I can only hope that she is a good wife/best friend to your friend.



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