Whilst cooking lunch yesterday I bent over and herniated one of my disks. My spine gave out and I am now laying supine in a cloud of white linen and little dog waiting for the pain to subside. Symptoms include: Shooting electric spasms in my legs. Laboured breathing. My balls ache. It is Impossible to make the most simple move without the most excruciating pain. So, this is what getting old is all about? I went into a terrible shame spiral as I was forced to ask Cooper to help me perform the most simple task.
Instantaneously crippled by SHAME and spine failure.
Shame, Resentment and Fear. The three ugly sisters who regularly cripple this particular Cinderella.
It’s interesting how a deeper understanding of toxic shame has given me a greater insight into all things-especially writing fiction.
Watching my adaptation of Dorian Gray again last night with Cooper (I was in bed sweating from the flu and squirming in pain from my herniated disk) I realized how much more evolved it could have been.
My contemporary adaptation of Oscar Wilde’s only novel Dorian Gray is a deeply flawed movie.
If I had had the understanding that I now have..understood Dorian Gray’s shame and Lord Henry Wooten’s subtle manipulation of it. If I had comprehended why Dorian, in turn, heaps shame upon Basil Hallward.
We collectively determine what is shameful and who we think ought to feel shame . Shame is subjective.
Sanctimonious people, self-righteous people, religious people, are all very eager to heap shame on whomever takes their fancy.
My mother’s shame began as a young 16-year-old girl when she had me-out of wedlock. To make matters worse my father was a Persian! My mother was hustled out of dodge by my vitriolic Grandmother to a Catholic mother and baby home where she was forced everyday, by nuns, to perform menial acts of attrition and atone for her sins.
I was born into shame. I have perpetuated it at my leisure. I was oblivious to how shame had shaped my life until I started dealing with my sex issues.
For what should we legitimately feel shame? Should I feel shame for being gay? Should Natalie Octomum Suliman (Natalie is her birth name) feel shame for having all those babies? Judging by what is written on my comments page the answer would be a resounding YES.
There is a disturbing connection, for me, between Natalie Octomum and my mother who, 50 years ago, was shamed for the same thing..for giving birth. They were both called selfish, irresponsible, their actions cast as shameful and both punished by society.
My mother’s character would not have withstood a barrage of outraged press attention when I was born. She may have come off as surly or defensive when in fact she was just scared and confused. After refusing to give me up for adoption (for which she was branded selfish and irresponsible) she had the audacity to ‘sponge’ off of her parents and the state before she got a job.
The mother and baby homes run by nuns have all been closed down. We would be outraged, in the UK, if we heard that heavily pregnant young girls were scrubbing floors by way of Christian punishment. My Mother was considered by her shamed parents as both criminal and wrong-just like Natalie Suliman. However, times change and wounds heal.
The morally acerbic press keep Natalie in a holding pattern of shame. The babies are born! By punishing Natalie we merely punish every one of those children, creating a stinking cloud of toxic shame that will linger for the rest of their lives.
This is OUR part in the shame game, we perpetuate shame as and when we feel like it.
My mother’s actions in the early 1960’s are scarcely shame worthy in contemporary Great Britain. In fact most British people would not think Natalie Octomum should have shame heaped upon her for her actions. She is perceived as a macabre American sideshow where ‘freedom’ breeds freaks like Natalie and people like me who end up on Dr Drew’s Sex Rehab.
Natalie, in my eyes, is neither criminal, wrong, selfish, irresponsible or cruel. Unless her children are not being loved or cared for…and one assumes with so many prying eyes on Natalie Suliman an unwashed kitchen surface would be enough for child protection agencies to be summoned..then she should be allowed to get on with her very own brand of American ‘freedom’.
Hey, America, I don’t give a damn that Natalie accepts public handouts. Sounds like some of you want her to feel shame for accepting welfare. It stinks when I read that some of you don’t think that she is capable of rearing those children when really none of you have any evidence to the contrary. None of you know how capable she is of limitless love. None of you.
As my therapist friend Sean M is want to say: There’s No Shame in My Game.
Finally an artist who inspires: Allison Schulnik who is presently showing at the Mark Moore Gallery in Santa Monica‘s Bergamot Station. I am persuading all of my friends to buy her work. It is amazing. A real figurative painter who uses great gobs of paint with such dexterity and precision, so sculpturally and with such poise that I stood before the work salivating, hankering after Frank Auerbach, De Kooning and oddly Corot. I immediately called Kay and Amanda and insisted that they buy something whilst Allison’s work remains affordable.
Maybe I’m reading this wrong… But are you referring to Nadya Suleman?
Her real name is spelt as I have spelt it please see Wikipedia.
Went there to check. Born Natalie, but goes by Nadya. That confused me too.
I just found you here Duncan. I have enjoyed reading your thoughts on life. Shame should only be used when there is a life threatening situation and it is necessary to get someone’s attention. It should always be followed by a kind and loving explanation of why we were trying to get their attention. Otherwise shame is only used for control. As a trauma therapist, I find that shame is THE most difficult thing to separate out of a person’s physical, mental and emotional responses. People have a tendency to use it way too much with children because it works so well in the moment. I’m sorry that you hurt your back. I did something similar in my 20’s so it isn’t necessarily age related. I’m old now and it doesn’t affect me any more. Be kind to yourself and be careful for a long time so it can heal. I recommend that you do any physical therapy that is recommended. That helped a lot once things settled down a bit. Try this: think of the disc like a marshmallow that has some fissures in it and imagine those fissures filling in and smoothing out. Healing prayers coming your way.
hope you feel better soon Duncan, its hard to be cheerful when ones feeling like shite.
I dont know if what some of us americans feel about natalie is as much shame, or is it our national habit of pointing ones fingers at those who we think behave irresponsibly. If thats the case, we should be worrying more about the banks and the economy and our elected people than how she chose to live her life. I agree that if she was mistreating the children, the media would have her crucified the nano second it happend. Im not to keen on seeing her face on every tabloid, but if it pays her bills and feeds her kids, more power to her..i dont HAVE to look at tabloids, i can look at the vast array of chewing gum {who knew they made chocolate bubble yum? yuck!}
feel better dear, look out your windows and see the endless possibilitys out there.
Weren’t there possible life-threatening consequences to both Natalie and her babies as soon as she conceived them? Wasn’t the doctor morally, ethically responsible for the well-being of all of them? Perhaps I don’t have enough of the details as I have not paid a lot of attention to the story, don’t have the patience to sift through all the various angles.
You have all given me food for thought regarding the word “shame”. Thank you for that.
Your body seems to be sending you all kinds of signals that you need rest! Take good good care of yourself, Duncan.
As a quadriplegic, I know a thing or two about the dark places we can go when we’re always physically depending on others. But as I’ve gotten older and worked on my own shame/anger/jealousy and trauma stuff, I’ve found that relying on another person can deepen intimacy and trust, and can help both parties move beyond the need to control. I hope this particular infirmity will be short-lived; in the meantime, it sounds like it’s definitely brought up some juicy stuff for you! Be well.
Hmm. …*subscribe*
I like you.
I’m a mother. I know this one thing: a mother can love an infinite number of children, but she cannot care for 14 children the way they need to be cared for. An unwed mother 50 years ago, and Nadia Crazybags are not even in the same atmosphere. I don’t need any sort of proof to know that she cannot care for 14 children under the age of what…9? It ain’t gonna happen. I don’t need proof to know that her home is in utter chaos 24/7. This was not some mistake or some accident, this was a premeditated, stupid act. And yes, selfish. Because no one asked those other kids if they wanted 8 new babies that need cared for 24/7 and no one asked her mother if she was interested in caring for 8 new babies. All of the money came after the fact. She did not have a plan. She was living in her mother’s house. This act was irrational and the only defense is that she is mentally ill.
some people don’t know how to control one child properly..i bet those kids feel loved and cared for, they are fed and watered. their mother may be an attention seeking mad woman but until I have other evidence rather than your conjecture I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
None of us know what is REALLY going on in that household but common sense would tell one that with 14 children and 1 parent there are some problems….none of us have evidence other than what we have read or seen but one does not have to be a liscensed professional to realize that Nadya/Natalie has some problems as she already had enough children to handle before she had 8 more….it is much easy to feed and water a plant than a household full of way too many children!
At the time the 8 children were born, I lived in Long Beach, CA close to where Nadya was living with her mom and other kids ( I think it was Downey?) I could not believe what a circus was around her house, watching the news. Knowing of the impending foreclosure i brought up public records to find the address. I had so much “infant” stuff my daughter had just out grown (car seat, etc) and at the time I was looking for someone who needed it. I never actually drove it over to her (because my husband told me I was nuts.) I eventualy found a recipient for the items. I just felt for her and her family. Knowing the cost of one child. As you stated “Americans” want her to feel shame for taking a handout, In my opinion and experience it takes a lot of humility to take a handout. To allow help, and to recognize you can’t do it all on your own is a humbling experience. I felt compassion for her, I was not angry at her. I did not know her..all i could do was react to the news being presented to me. Knowing the state would not let her babies come home from the hospital until CDSS was satisfied with living situation, I knew the woman would need all the help she could get in order to bring her kids home, and knowing her family (parents) were not in a situation to help financially that is when society needs to step in to help those in need. The situation was what it was, and is what it is currently. When help is needed it is not a time to cry foul, and be angry but to help out and stablize the situation. As for her personal choice to have 14 children, it is not my place to speculate. And yes to the person who said “isn’t her dr. responsible if the lives of the fetus are in danger or the mother..” Yes the doctor needs to inform and educate the patient so a decision can be made…but because we have Freedom of Choice as women the docotor can not dictate what is to be done. I wish Nadya and her children to have a happy and healthy life and I admire her tenacity to stand up to all of the negative press and stick to her guns.
PS: Sorry about your back pain. That sucks.
Conjecture and common sense.
I don’t even believe she did it for the fame. I think she did it because she was addicted in some weird way to pregnancy or babies. I do believe she has a problem.
common sense is subjective. what you may think is common sense I may not. I think it is common sense to feed children fresh vegetables and avoid all processed foods. anyhow-there is NOTHING you can do about all those kids. NOTHING. they exist. they would be devastated to be separated. they are a family and you must honour this unusual family as we honour a gay family or brad and angelina’s family
Sorry you hurt your back. Feel better soon. Unsolicited advice: try to find a super fantastic physical therapist, if you don’t already have one… a good PT can change your life…Harvey the PT changed mine!
I agree and have said so earlier, that those babies aren’t going back, and I certainly don’t begrudge her welfare, reality tv, or whatever else it takes now to remain a family. I think it would be tragic if they were to be separated. I also said earlier, and stand by it, that there is a tragedy waiting for this family.
Common sense, instinct…woman’s intuition. Call it what you will, but it usually guides me well.
and just to throw this into the loop, how do you feel about the idea of a second stimulus, seeing as the first one went craps up? {as in , it didnt help any one but the banks, certainly not me and my work] …just a thought 🙂
If the photo you posted is typical of Alison’s work, she has an impressive technique and important things to say with it. I don’t know that I would want something like that on my walls at home. I respect Munch’s “Scream”, but I wouldn’t want to fall asleep looking at it. Hope she sells a ton, though!
Sorry about the disk. That’s not uncommon, and may have as much to do with your being tall since young basketball players get it too. It only takes one bad lift or twist or bend, at any age. The sciatic nerves are the largest in the body aside from the spinal cord itself. Impingement on them will put anyone down. Don’t hesitate to see a Dr. Thanks to sports medicine there are new physical therapy methods, exercises and medications being developed all the time. Surgery too, if it came to that. If it isn’t an HNP but just a rupture of the annulus fibrosus then decompression might relieve it.
I’m ashamed every time I treat someone badly just because they happened to innocently push a “hot button”. I should know better, and over time I do it less, but I still have pain I haven’t resolved and faced and understood fully.
Who is Cooper?
@Invisible Mikey: “I’m ashamed every time I treat someone badly just because they happened to innocently push a “hot button”. I should know better, and over time I do it less, but I still have pain I haven’t resolved and faced and understood fully.”
I do this too — I snap at people who push a “hot button” and they are baffled, and I feel horrible later. I hate it. How have you gotten (somewhat) better at not doing this? What has helped in therapy, what issues do you look at? Whatever causes you pain? My therapist lets me sort of free-flow but I would like to address this more specifically?
@Duncan or other therapists: How can a layperson educate himself about shame? Are there any books you recommend?
Shawn –
Though I haven’t been able to attend structured therapy in about 15 years, I had a couple years with a wonderful old sage who helped me practice examining whether my reactions were proportionate to another’s action.
Since we cannot control the actions of others, but we CAN control our own, it’s been a matter of practicing being present, focused, and listening so that I hear not only what is being said to me but also who is saying it. That way I’m not acting out against my abusers (who are not there, but may appear as ghosts wearing the disguise of the person talking.) That’s my pain trying to take over. I want to be the boss, not my old habits! I also practice “thought stopping”, which is to just internally say loudly “STOP!”, if I recognize I’m being steered into rage by something that isn’t going on at the time. It breaks the stride of the demon.
Sometimes when we receive stimulus close to the phrasing or tone or behavior of an earlier person who did us wrong, we react as if it’s the original criminal. My main abuser died in 1993, so that also helps. I can reassure myself that he’s dead. And whenever I can put his ghost back in the grave by forgiving him, pitying him, understanding him and forgiving myself for what I did not know then – I get a little better, and stronger. Hope that helps.
So sorry to hear about your back problems. I know how a herniated disk can feel…it’s just terrible. I pray it doesn’t stay with you too long!
I like the concept of examining shame and the role it plays in so many of our lives, but I’m sorry to say that I really don’t see a valid connection between that concept and various blog commenters’ personal opinions regarding some of the Octomom’s behavior. A reiteration of the facts surrounding her unusual story is just that…a reiteration…and expressing one’s personal opinions about the life choices made by Nadya (in her strange pursuit of celebrity) is not exactly tantamount to heaping shame upon her.
This woman has very deliberately made herself into a public figure and I believe she realized all along that doing this might involve having her life choices discussed by strangers. Hell, her main goal in life seems to revolve around acheiving a certain level of fame, apparently by almost any means necessary, so I seriously doubt she’d be ashamed to discover that people were discussing her here, regardless of whether it was negative or postivive discourse. I’m sort of convinced that she actually gets off on that stuff anyway. But still, I myself do not want Nadya to feel shame….I really don’t. I tend to doubt that shaming her was the goal of many other commenters either. Shame is useless. Shame certainly won’t help her children out. I want Nadya to feel true and intelligent concern for the fourteen childen she brought into the world, not shame for the fact that she did nothing to prepare the way for them. I want her to feel responsibile and start acting more responsibly toward her children right now….because they deserve that and not because she’s been shamed into it. The fact that I think she’s made very bad decisions in the past doesn’t mean I’m not willing to honor and celebrate her unusual family. If she ever steps up to the plate and gets herself on track as a parent, I’ll happily celebrate with her. Until then my concern remains with the fourteen children. I don’t need to shame a mother in order to be concerned about her kids, but neither do I need to coddle her or defend all her immature & downright stupid behaviors.
By the same token, when it comes to sharing my honest opinion about this woman’s actions or behavior, especially after this very blog’s author had directly requested an explanation as to why some of us Americans feel the way we do about Nadya….well, I don’t think I need to feel ashamed about that either:-)
@Invisible Mikey: It does, thank you very much. The problem for me is that the words are out of my mouth many times before I can order my thoughts, reassure myself, think generously that the person isn’t attacking or trying to hurt me, etc…it’s often a very visceral reaction. In the last several years I’ve learned to hold my tongue, so I have less lashing out or biting comments.
At the same time, I still feel uncomfortable due to the person’s behavior or words, and this just leads to some quieter, maybe more passive-aggressive behavior on my part that’s still pretty obvious, leaves the other person feeling criticized or rejected, and me feeling badly afterward. And frankly, the people I’m thinking of who set me off are usually kinda nuts — breaking right and left what are generally considered normal social boundaries — and they are really not worth the energy, or shame afterward. I wish I could laugh at their behavior and just let it roll off me and not feel so threatened by it. And I have no history of sexual abuse or physical abuse or cruelty in my childhood, but I’ve always had pretty high boundaries.
Anyway, I really appreciate your time and energy for the thoughtful answer you provided. Thanks again.
Ms. Shulnik’s painting at the top of your blog is immediately arresting. I would appreciate more of what inspires you in the arts.
I suppose it’s normal for an artist to reflect on a particular work’s imperfection, but regret is awfully toxic as well.
Continued thanks.
Oh and your comment about unusual families who make it work reminded me of a recent film about two gay men, one of whom is an ordained minister, who have adopted 6 mentally handicapped boys. All of these youths were considered “unadoptable” by CA Social Services. It’s at http://preacherssons.com
Shame, Resentment, and Fear are the three Gorgons that terrorize my life, as well. I wasn’t going to say anything about your blog about Miss Suleman, because my thoughts on her weren’t the nicest. I am very good at avoidance. But your blog stayed with me through the day and night, and kept poking my mind uncomfortably.
Many of the women I know who had negative opinions are themselves mothers. I am not. The shame I’ve lived with is the main reason I have been afraid to address that biological pull for so long. Now that my chances of becoming a parent are growing dimmer and dimmer, stories like hers or for that matter, of any two-parent family that has so many children bring forth waves, no, typhoons of resentment. I’m a bitter old maid. I feel unbelievable anger at anyone who brings forth children only to depend on other people financially. Even if a tiny fraction of the tax I pay goes toward welfare, I resent that my money goes for the care of someone else’s children. Whether one or fifteen, having children today is a choice. My rage screams that if I were to have a child, I would have one knowing that I provide for it, or not have it at all.
I fear I’ve rambled. All I meant to tell you is that your blogs make me think. More so, they make me examine my feelings. You’re very thoughtful and kind. Thank you for writing.
I wish you unconditional love. Your blog I see such longing for that unconditional love to be seen in the world and in your life. You have great value not because of what you have accomplished or what you possess. You have value for being you. Remember that always.
As far as Ms. Suleman is concerned, who am I to judge?Either Ive done it thought about to do it or will do it. All a person can do is send forth all the love you can to the stranger the enemy the friend and the family. Love is the only thing can break down the stony portions of peoples hearts.
It takes more than unconditional love to care for a child. Sometimes love is just not enough. Every day has its challenges, every age has its challenges, and every child has its challenges. Dentists, clothes, shoes, arguments, homework, lunch money, teachers, friends, sibling dynamics, driving, insurance, college. It’s not enough to say, “Oh, everything will be fine because I love this child or these children.” No. Love is not enough. Even abusive parents love their children, some of them. And abused children love their parents, some of them.
I don’t doubt anyone’s ability for unconditional or limitless love. Just sucks that there’s so many kids out there already that need homes and somewhere safe to live and know that they’re loved.
Duncan, you are intelligent, articulate and insufferable. You asked for opinions solely to give you an excuse for smugness, didn’t you? Nobody played into your hands with Octomom hatred or a tooth-gnashing desire to take the octuplets from their mother, but you laid on the smugness anyhow. I think you should be smug about your looks, your brain, designer clothes, good taste, your lifestyle-but leave the blanket American hating behind. In this instance it was unattractive, manufactured and makes you look a self-satisfied xenophobe (aka smug prick).
We have the right to opinions. Many of us prefer babies to be born less multiple-y. Since the babies exist, we all wish them well. Simple as that. Nobody played the gay card, nor the illegitimacy card. If people demanded shame from Ms. Sulman, you didn’t post those comments. Some of us find it unwise to deliver 8 babies at once-which was a calculated CHOICE-neither preference nor accident.
She may very well be capable of limitless love. I’m a mom and I say nobody has enough hands to raise 8 babies of the same age.It’s a logistical impossibility. I’ve watched the grandmothers of quadruplets, pressed into servitude in their golden years. They think they are doing their jobs, supporting their daughters in their scientific hyper-fertility. Given octuplets, I think Grandma may wear out quickly.
I waited to give birth, because financial and emotional security seemed necessary before bringing 1 human into the world. I think I’ll write British friends and ask their opinions. I don’t believe fertility treatments run amuck are an issue of nationality.
I hope you heal rapidly. I’m a quadriplegic and believe in cosseting one’s spine whenever possible.
This is not about America bashing. I think she has enough money to hire help nowadays. She also has an extended family. Some of you may very well think it unwise to deliver 8 babies but short of stuffing them back into her what are you going to do about it?
She did not have enough money when she started all this…..she was living off of her parents. There was no discussion with her parents about them helping her (as they obviously did with her other children)nor did they really want to. After all the PR she now has enough money for help and plastic surgery. Seems to me that the plastic surgery is to try to emulate her idol and mentor Angelina Jolie….there is nothing anyone can do about this but since she loves all the publicity we will all spend wasteless time reading about her and discussing this….myself included…you know how we Americans are…don’t you?
I was happy her doctor was censured. He’s like those plastic surgeons implanting G-sized breasts, the medical community shouldn’t feed these bears. Aside from that, I think the woman needs to raise her kids, case closed. I feel no need to punish or shame her, and the kids are innocent. I do wish the US helped more with the already-born; too much emphasis on aiding the unborn and not enough on child care and other assistance. THAT is a shame. As in all things, I’d like to see us learn lessons and not blame the innocent. In this case, the innocent = 14 kids! It will take a HELLUVA village!
Great blog today I was a 17 when I had my son out of wedlock and felt the shame. Everyone wanted me to go to stay w/ the nuns in SF & give him up for adoption. But my heart wouldn’t allow me to. I did end up marrying his father but divorced several yrs later because he was doing drugs & gay.He died of Aids when our son was 8yrs old. Now I’m living w/ Aids & remarried to a wonder man who is negetive but my son in a way has saved my life .He’s 24 now he is my best friends & understands me & never judges me because I too have a lifetime of shame that I’m trying to shed in therapy .One day @ a time is what I tell self but SHAME is a killer.I hope you feel better soon.
Duncan I have been reading your blog for awhile. I have one thing to say about your thoughts on Natlie Suleman. They are honest, and fair. I have one son. He keeps me busy. If she feels she can take care of them, and love them, and provide for them then so be it! I am happy for all of her happiness. Sometimes I think we as a human race, forget that people in glass houses should not throw stones. And I can personally say I’m not perfect, and don’t want to judge others in how they choose to live. More power to her, if she feels she can do it and give them all of the love they need.
And also sorry to hear that you are sick and hurting. Feel better!
Hi there. I was wondering if you are able to help me. I am starting work on an MA dissertation about adaptations of Dorian Gray. Is there any way to get hold of your adaptation from 2007. I know it’s not out on DVD, and the British Film Institute don’t have a copy either. If you can help in any way, please let me know. Many thanks and get well soon. shane brown.
‘To make matters worse he was a Persian’
I am surprised to see you wrote that, I have a beautiful daughter whose father is Persian and I suspect you get your wonderful good looks and creative attributes from your heritage, which is a rich and very cultured one.
Blame the times, not the culture for your mothers predicament. It would not be so today. I love the fact that my daughter looks so beautiful and exotic and she keeps her Iranian name even after marriage. You are tall dark and handsome Duncan, that has to be from your heritage.
I do, however, agree with your comments about Nadya, it’s her life, and she has made the best of it to be able to support her babies. I do think she is addicted to publicity, can’t help thinking she wanted to do more than look like Angelina Jolie, but lets face it, it is her choice to choose life for the kids and you are right if this happened in the UK it would not be an issue.Maybe when your back is better you could baby sit? just kidding.
Manny Duncan, will you tie my shoes, sir? Manny Duncan, will you read me a bedtime story? Manny Duncan, I have piddled my pants again. You must contact this woman now and join the circus.
Here in the States the same people who oppose abortion are also the first to shame young women who have babies and need help to support them. I once dated a triplet and his Mom had 2 girls in the 3 years prior to his birth (so at one point 5 under the age of 3) and then another child almost every year or two after for a total of 9. She was the most easy going loving woman I had ever met and they had enough kids for their own basketball teams!
Ouch about your back.. I once slipped mine while lifting up a helium tank and had to sleep sitting up for a month with my body tied over the footboard with sheets and my feet hanging down on the side of the bed. Nearly always it just takes time to heal.
Duncan – If I could shout it from the rooftops – Mercy! For those of us who have fucked up, Mercy! For those of us who are judged absent information necessary for understanding, Mercy! For those of us who still struggle with addiction, Mercy!
I am convinced that God, “That Which Watches in Love” (my childhood concept of a deity) is ultimately about Mercy. To understand all is to forgive all as the French saying goes (“Tout Comprendre c’est Tout Pardonner). In Catholicism there is a prayer the priest says at Mass: “In love You conceived us, in justice You condemned us, but in mercy You redeemed us.” The price has been paid. There is no excuse not to love. Now can we find it in ourselves to forgive the vicious? Sorry about your back – mine is also not good. Thermacare wraps available over the counter may help. Best, Leslie
Why do people hate her? Who knows this is America people get pissed of about all kinds of crazy shit. Land of the free home of the brave my ass. Land of the complainers is more like it. You know in America we talk about racism, sexism any every other “ism” you can think of. But Nat broke rule number one. She decided that she would have babies using medical technology. Now everyone knows that the only people allowed to use that system to have babies are rich white woman. Our girl Nat is from a working class background. Of course the media turned on her, she broke the unwritten rule. Exactly what did you think would happen? Did you notice girlfriend didn’t get a pampers deal, free milk for a year, baby food or something you know just a little something. From where I am setting she is “ass out.”
However, what bothers me about her is that she is fucked up. One of the things I know about fucked up people is that they shouldn’t be around children. This is a woman who has spent a lot of money to look like someone else. Who is a fame whore. A woman who was living in her parents house unable to take care of her other children. Her mother said she didn’t know how her daughter was going to support the children. All of these things lead me to believe that those children are going to grow up in a fucked up situation. Who cares where she gets her money from I would gladly kick in some cash to buy her kids food or pampers. But the real deal is can someone get her a therapist please. Just a little somethin somethin can’t we do it for the kids?
P.S.
Dude black folks having been saying that for a long time, “no shame in my game.”
there are many fucked up parents who shouldn’t be around children.