Alexi Muniak at Cafe Gitane

Another day with Benoit and his boyfriend in NYC.  Benoit read the Abercrombie and Fitch essay from his book American Voyeur at the Powerhouse Arena in Dumbo.  It was very funny.  The guy who owns Abercrombie sounds like a total nutter.  After the event we all ate dinner at the Lesbian owned restaurant Superfine near where I shot Dorian Gray.  I ate a pork chop and lentil soup.  It was delicious.

I thought I was leaving NYC today but I made a mistake so I’m actually leaving tomorrow.

It was hard not to spend the day remembering Donny-my dead friend.   My friend who killed himself.  I spoke to other men who knew him and it was difficult not to say, “I told you so.” Because I’d known all along that Donny would succeed one day.  Like Heath, DJ AM, Brad Renfrew and my other Hollywood chums who seemed hell bent on an early grave.

People who want to kill themselves become very determined once they set their mind on it.

Issie must have tried 5 times before she drank the weed killer.

I’ve always been a little bit scared of people who express an interest in suicide.  If they have so little regard for their own lives they might very well have little regard for yours, after all, they’re going to kill someone whether it’s themselves or you.

When I was in hospital during my mid twenties-after seeing all my friends die of AIDS-I had a mental breakdown and ended up in The Henderson Hospital in Sutton Surrey.  There was a sweet girl there called Sarah who wanted to kill herself and she was, like Donny, determined to do it.  Anyway, we were having a group meeting and I was sent up to her room by one of the nurses to get her and when I found her with slashed wrists, blood pumping everywhere.  She said, “I’ll be down in a minute, I’m just cleaning my room.”  She was dabbing at the great pools of blood with some tissue paper.

Had lunch with Alexi and his wife.  Bumped into Christian Coulson in Soho who was an actor and is now a photographer.  Had hair cut-not very well-at Freeman’s.   Alexi and I drank more coffee in Cafe Gitane in Nolita then, after a nap, met Benoit and crew in Dumbo at 7.  It was a full day overshadowed by the events of the preceding day.