Fresh linen sheets. I love when the cleaning lady comes. The fresh smells she leaves behind her. As soon as she arrives I am forced into action. Clearing, folding and stripping. The first week she came she broke an 18th century plate. I was sad but I didn’t really care-my attitude toward other people breaking my stuff is that at least it was used and enjoyed.
There are some exceptions.
I lent a 12-inch Venini handkerchief vase to Korda Marshall when his then wife Felicity had her baby. They returned it in pieces. The vase would be worth $11, 000 now. I wrote to him recently asking him to replace it. He ignored my email. Korda is head of Warner Records UK.
I loved that vase, it was a gift from Matilda, Duchess of Argyll and I had carried it from Ardfern in the Scottish Highland all the way home to Whitstable on a bus. When Richard Green and I first opened the Whitstable Oyster Company we filled it every day with fresh cornflowers. Of course it could never be properly replaced but occasionally one chances upon one at an auction and would love to buy it.
Still winding down from Sex Rehab. It feels odd not to have somewhere to go on a Sunday night. I suppose I have the same feeling of loss that people have described to me here on these pages. I liked revisiting the Rehab even though it frustrated me. I liked to remember the process.
So many unexpected doors have opened since I started writing this blog. Another literary agent contacted me yesterday and I am going to take meetings with them all when I go to New York next week. I like literary agents. They are very different from Hollywood agents. Hollywood agents are like Wall Street traders: crude, indifferent.
I found a short story about the Twin Towers that I had written last year. I found the first chapter of my novel. I diligently sent them off to the nice agent Jake B at Rob Weisbach Creative Management. Now all I have to do is stay out of the result.
After I do the work; it’s none of my business what happens next. I used to be one of those guys who worried about when he would hear back, when they would read it, see it, make a decision. Thankfully I am delivered from that particular hell.
I discovered some 13 years ago that my tearing my hair out would not alter the result.
There is absolutely no point in fretting about the outcome. What will be will be. I’m not saying that I wasn’t relieved/upset to find out that I had got the grant, was HIV negative, he wasn’t interested etc. etc. But I saved the feeling for after the fact rather than before it.
The house in Malibu is vacation rented to people from Hawaii who arrived at midnight the day before yesterday. In the morning I received a flurry of text messages and calls from them claiming that I had scammed them, that the house was nothing like I had described it. It quickly transpired that they were calling from somebody else’s house. The following morning, after some testy phone calls, the Vacation Renter called me to apologize for their foolish mistake.
I am just happy that who’s ever house they were describing never came home.
Goats from Santa Barbra. Must buy goat. Why goats? Well, brush clearance for a start. The house is situated in the highly flammable Santa Monica Mountains and every year I have to pay $3000 to have the brush cleared around the house. The last fire stopped 150 feet from my front door. Goats eat brush.
Also, Birria is a delicious Mexican goat dish. I love eating goat. I get to drink goat milk. Do you remember eating that delicious braised goat on that private, secluded beach with Philippa and Louise on Patmos? A truly memorable meal. A man in a shack with a pot of boiling goat. Delicious.
I have even thought about becoming a vegetarian but I think the deal I will have with myself is this: If I have grown it or bought or bartered for it from the abundant land then I can eat it. By the way, I am including vacation rental income in this equation. I don’t expect to survive on half a pound of plums and a mango.
I wonder how much goats cost? I have to make these calls on January 1st. There are over 50 goat-grazing services in California so I don’t think that the acquiring of a goat will be much of a problem.
I have already located a woman who helps plan and plant vegetable gardens. I have a meeting with her in January so will report then. Many people have written to me offering advice and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
My lease here in Hollywood expires in April so I have until then to get things into order so I can move back and fully take the reigns of my new Malibu Hill Billy life.
A man in a shack with a pot of boiling goat.
Why does someone loan someone else a vase? Did they have no place to put their own flowers?
Felicity had just had a baby and been sent more flowers than they had vases.
and seriously , their home owners insurance should have covered a broken vase! Im way into the idea of goats and organic produce tho, alot of it has to do with soil acidity, which your local county extension office can test for you, and i used bat guano last year on my veggy garden and had insanely sized cucumbers and tomatoes and peppers..the eggplants, not so much. You have the best idea of all , to not obsess on what you cant control, wish i could do that as well, reading you reminds me of things to aspire to . Heres to you having a wonderful holiday Duncan, with good food and good friends!
You say “hillbilly” like it’s a bad thing! LOL..I was born in Tennessee and now live in Atlanta – so I do know a thing or two about goats. I dare say that if you get a few they will definitely keep the brush cut back – but I will also venture to guess that being around them – you will soon loose your taste for goats – they are some of the most gentle creatures with playful personalities. Hard to look at them served up on fine china.
Happy Holidays Duncan – and hope you have a blessed New Year!
Hillbilly has no negative connotations to me. I was thinking of Beverly Hill Billy. I loved that show. I thought that and the show with Zsa Zsa Gabor who had a closet that went outside were my fave USA shows when I was a kid. I loved that the closet had no back to it..like the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe.
Hello Duncan. Thank you for being you. This blog is a pleasure to read. Your honesty is refreshing and familar. Enjoy the holidays, and again thank you.
thats a very funny story about the Malibu renters! It will keep me laughing all day.
…and teach me to lock my front door. Not that anyone would be wanting to vacation in it (haha)
Best to you.
Ah, I see about the vase loaning. For future reference, the thrift store has perfectly serviceable vases at a dime a dozen. It was generous of you to loan them your treasure.
As to goats. They freak me out a bit. I think they’re smarter than they let on and will take over your house while you sleep.
oy , now ill be thinking of cement ponds and billy goats gruff all day! (served up with a side of possum)
duncan: i enjoy reading your blog, i enjoyed getting to know you on SR. I appreciate your views and opinions. You’ve helped me see things in my life that i never would have. I’d like to sign off by saying ‘stay positive’, but if you took my advice, i’d miss out on some important lessons. -r
Duncan,
One thing to think about with goats….while they will eat the brush they will also eat your other “good” plantings, and anything else not nailed down, so be careful!! Lol
It would serve him right since he plans on killing them.
are you a vegetarian or just an idiot-or both? If you do eat meat who do you think kills it? I would rather do it myself than a heartless. cruel abattoir.
LOL Duncan. Well said. I used to go to school with an irritatingly zealous vegan who wore Doc Martens. What did she think they were made of? She finally left me alone when I pointed that out.
No need for name calling. How could you kill an animal who served you cleaning up your brush day after day? How would your killing it make it any less cruel?
orrr Duncan can bring in a rabbi and have it done kosher! And its part of living self sufficently, what on earth do you think farmers do? I grew up that way, its not heartless, its part of how some one makes their farm work.
Duncan’s not a farmer, he’s a dilettante.
I say kill the goats before they kill you!
You don’t have to kill your own goats, for pity’s sake. Barter with a Kosher butcher and split the proceeds. Having worked in a slaughterhouse once, I can verify that not all butchers are cruel. (I have difficulty killing an animal I have a relationship or communication with, but I do fish without remorse.) In any case, it is your affair Duncan. Your land, your goats.
We are animals too, and we are the predators at the top of the food chain. I think each human who wants to be ethically consistent goes through a process regarding what you will eat, and to what degree you will be involved in obtaining the food. It’s just my own current position in that process, but I don’t think it’s wrong to eat meat because humans are bio-designed to be omnivores. The teeth prove it. There’s no arguing with the fact that we have both molars AND incisors.
Not everyone has the skills necessary to hunt or kill humanely. (Before I start arguments with any Vegans, remember I said it’s my opinion.) I do think it’s possible to kill humanely, quickly, painlessly – for food. So if you aren’t going to do that yourself, you need to investigate how the animals are raised and killed.
Hence, free-range chickens, non-farm-raised fish etc. To me it’s silly to argue “cruelty” over milk (or any dairy product we can make from it.) Mammals live on milk. We’re mammals. Case closed.
The writings and plans about what to do with Malibu are part of dealing with a bigger issue anyway. I think Duncan is “getting back to the garden” with all that connotes. Reconnecting with the origins and force of life, rather than the artificial structures that lead him far away from it. Closeness with the Earth, and being more in touch with everything created from her, invigorates an artist.
Oh, and I mistakenly thought from the title that Duncan was making a pun on The Kinks album “Muswell Hillbillies”. Silly me. Like several of Ray Davies’ concept albums, it contains songs about the rejection of a too-modern, too-dehumanizing lifestyle.
I love it! Your way of life is something I can identify with, except I live in the woods in the remote Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The solitude is invigorating. I can never live too far from my beloved Lake Superior. There is something to be said about getting back to our roots,,getting back to nature. Not everyone can live this way. Good luck with your goats!
Michael the Geezer sure lives up to his name…fookin dissertaion with every comment. Yawn.
diss er ta tion
Goats! Certainly are good at eating weeds and brush… but unfortunately eat a lot of stuff you don’t want them to eat 😉
Don’t hate. Duncan you absolutely crack me up. Go out and get 10 or 12 goats. While you’re at it get some chickens too. You could have a farm if you want to. Have a wonderful Holiday and keep doing what you are doing.
I had birria once and really enjoyed it. This is the second time I read this and I get hungry each time.
Vegetarians can be so mean to those who aren’t. I was reading a book by Jane Velez Mitchell about overcoming addiction, coming out, etc. She’s an avid vegan and very outspoken. I felt guilty reading her book, so I’ve never finished it.
Live and let live. We all have issues of important to us. We can’t “should” on each ohter. Wait a minute…was that a should? Oops!