Before I signed my contract to appear on Sex Rehab I told my friends that what ever happened to me during the editing of the show I would stay out of the result. That I would let God deal with the details and I would not let any of it be my business. That was until..
OMG! Today, moments ago, I discovered..and I just had to write a blog about my extraordinary discovery..a reader alerted me to a website devoted to people who give a shit about TV! So much of a shit, in fact, that the same sad people spend hours not just watching reality TV but getting so involved that they form ‘opinions’ then spend hours sharing LMAO with complete strangers their ‘opinions’. The fact that these opinions are misguided, uninformed and mostly sophomoric is neither here nor there.
This reality TV viewer web site is like..REALITY TV PORNOGRAPHY! It got me hard. Really.
Amongst some occasional intelligent analysis I read about ‘haters’ (apparently I am one) and a huge amount of second rate Kari Ann/Jill/Selma/Kendra ‘diagnosis’ from a bunch of avid reality TV addicts. I really had no idea that people took this stuff so damned seriously. I am DESPERATE to throw my hat into the ring and take on these virtual dumpster divers! IMO I think I could have quite a scrap.
I learned so much! Punctuated with LMAO, LOL, OMG and IMO I learned that I was snarky, immature, ugly, a misanthrope-but probably because I was sexually abused. I learned that I hated James and did not teach him to knit. That I bullied James and ‘hated’ on him. I had my words maligned, insulted, ‘hated’ on. I am, apparently, a disgrace to gay people. I learned that there were people trawling my facebook page-so all the people I don’t know have now been removed. I learned that homophobia is alive and KICKING!
For people who seem to hate the haters there sure is a great deal of hate!
LMAO! Oh you people! How you have amused me during the past few weeks.
“I’m 24 and I’ve heard that my generation and people that are teens right now are some of the most narcissistic people ever. But I think it’s just because with more technology and things, the people who might have been overprotective or felt stifled as children who want to raise their kids the opposite way might be able to spoil their kids more. There have always been people like that, it’s just more noticeable now..”
LOL. And with scintillating insights like that who needs 19th century literature?
One particularly astute commentator opined that the British were apt to be socially insensitive. Rude. Well, we’re not rude..we are direct. We say what we mean and we are not, as a nation, or as individuals so sensitive to the naked truth as you the Americans. I spent hours in my dorm at school being viciously rude to my class mates and they to me. It made us howl with laughter. We LOVE a good insult/irony.
Consequently, we will punish Tony Blair for war crimes and tax our bankers for profiteering. What, you may be thinking, does that have to do with price of cheese? Work it out amongst yourselves. I am sure ONE of you will have an ‘opinion’.
OMG after reading the posts-and I could not stop they were so addictive-I thought to myself, well producers-you did a great job! An amazing job of creating the goodies and the baddies and I am one of the baddies! To many, many viewers I am just a vicious queen! And so be it. What you think of me is none of my business. It’s true!
“Between his blog, his twitter page, his facebook page, and God only knows what other type of self promotion he’s doing he has got to be the most vain S.O.B. out there! UGH! His whiny, childish behavior is disgusting. Honestly, grow up honey. And yea I will admit when the show first began I found Duncan very charming, funny, etc. and so I did read his blogs, twitter page, etc. but its like the more he talks the more I dislike him.”
LMAO every time I read a vile comment like that my cock got harder. LITERALLY. I look at my own reaction to the hate and I realize that I still have a very long way to go.
And lastly..for you clever, clever people-a little context: When making Sex Rehab there were 350 hours of real time footage shot on 20 cameras. That’s approx 7,000 hours of footage squeezed into a chilling 344 minutes of TV.
LOL.
And finally my most favorite line:
“Duncan has a meanstreak that he gets away with because his sex appeal is soooo appealing. The reason men face-fuck him and leave him is because a meanstreak is only tolerable for as long as it takes to orgasm.”
A woman could only have written IMO the idea that I would want a relationship with anyone I had blown is frankly absurd.
LMAO
IMO
LOL
OMG
People blow… and not in a good way. I am so excited the moron of the world have found a place to gather. I on the otherhand enjoy you tremendously! YOU are why I watched. Im glad I have more to do in life than be a an anonymous troll throwing insults at people who bear their souls.
**Love
OH EMM GEE. BEST BLOG EVER. IM SERIOUSLY LMFAO. ahahhahaha
Hahahahahaaa! (No acronyms from me!). This shit is what Lukas and Kendra have been trying to ignore for years. I dearly love that you are able to laugh at them for they truly are pathetic. (Perhaps there is need for Haters Rehab? What a hoot that show would be!). And you, my love, are truly hilarious!
I’ve had the privilege of getting to know you in person and I also know how tender and loving you can be.
…f…
You are brilliant and I adore you! The candor of your blogs, the little snippets of Duncan,friend of Jennie, Duncan the father of Big Dog and Little Dog, Duncan the socially involved and aware gay man are some of the good things I received because I watched that biased and poorly edited show, Sex Rehab. Without the show, I would have, most likely, never stumbled upon your tweets, which led to your blogs. Be good to yourself, Duncan, for you are an amazing human being.
Just know that there are Americans who are not quite as pathetic, ignorant, illiterate or so arrogant to assume that anyone cares about their poorly worded opinion…I find you completely lovable and your story on the show has had such an impact in my own life 🙂
Be assured that there are viewers who understand.
I think the site you commented on above is probably one of those I like to classify as Housefrau Havens. A bunch of self righteous cat ladies who live in front of their PCs eating Cheetos, smoking & drinking Dr. Peppers. Sad.
Try reading some posts here: http://www.survivorsucks.yuku.com/topic/58546 It’s different.
I wonder if the alienating nature of the way we are taught to live doesn’t encourage the sort of behavior you wrote about. Driving around in cars alone. Working more than we get to see our families. Isolated in boxes, offices, at monitors and laptops. On the phone instead of face-to-face. On the page or screen instead of heart to heart/hand to hand.
There’s a line in Psycho where Norman Bates (amateur taxidermist gone wrong) muses, “We’re all in our private traps.” Maybe the isolation and loneliness drives people into pretending they have relationships with all these people they can’t see, the ones on TV and the ones in the forums.
I’m glad you can enjoy the absurdity of investing emotion in that nonsense, but my reaction is pity. I think it’s a shame those writers didn’t find a better place to invest their anger, analysis, etc in.
I wouldn’t sweat the erections. I get hard-ons over speeches about social justice issues, but I decline to play “I’m more perverse than you.”
How’s your new novel coming along?
There are some positive comments about you on that site. Did those ones increase the blood flow to your penis too?
I don’t get so turned on by positive affirmation..I wish I did. Negativity excites and delights me.
I thought I told you to NOT go to those forums. (insert winky face)
I also don’t like the acronym barrage. However I do use one: olo
I use it in place of lol. It doesn’t spell anything but it LOOKS dirty in that schoolboy manner. Sophomoric, yes but then, I am sometimes.
Your reaction to negative feedbsck is both hilarious and sad . . . as life should be. Getting turned on by positive affirmation isn’t that good either, ask the women on the show.
To be redundant (and repetitive), the show is overall a good thing in spite of how VH1 is trying to shape it. Please be very proud that all of you (including Kari Ann as an important example of how NOT to try to recover) are going to make a lot of positive differences in many lives. Some you will hear from, but most will make steps toward their own recovery without you ever knowing. (C’mon just a little bit of a stiffy from that? No?)
What did they call that on the show?…uh, re-traumatization?
Did you know that it is possible to be addicted to anger? Something about the “spoiling for a fight” before, the adrenaline rush during and the b-process of relief you feel after. Glad you recognize that this stuff – this negativity – “gets you hard,” (lol, btw :p) because maybe this is an opportunity to go ahead and start letting the need for it, that anger and vitriol, go now too. Maybe? If not, ok. I for one still love the shit out of you! The best affirmation anyone ever shared with me, which I use all the time is: “Every minute of every day I am releasing all things which no longer serve me.” I also like: “What you think of me is none of my business.” (Ha!) Anyway, thanks for not un-fb-friending me. Lots of us are sincere! Even some whose comments are laden with eejit acronyms and dip-shit emoticons… 😀
TOTALLY!
I LOVE this post! It’s funny how all of those people who want to ‘hate on’ you are reading your twitters and blogs in the first place. Also the picture is hilarious, looks like the displays down the street from me.
PS- Stop being a hater Duncan!
=P
I guess those people where watching another show of there own creation because Duncan seemed like one of the most relatable and sympathetic people on the show to me butmaybe that’s just my personal experience.
I wondered why I’d been removed. Duncan, I have never said anything hateful about any of the cast members and don’t know the site you looked at. It makes me sad that you automatically took everyone you don’t know off. I asked to be your FB friend, because like you I have problems with the issue.
Same here.
Please Duncan don’t judge us all by people who troll TWOP. They just like the sound of the keyboard typing out their opinion because in real life no one listens to them. I have learned much from everyone on Sex Rehab and would never disrespect your life or your experiences.
Duncan,
Don’t internalize this stuff. Didn’t Amber warn you? Your recovery is an inspiration to many. Focus on that.
Hey Duncan-
I enjoy reading your tweets and your blog-you are erudite and snarky, which is a combo that I truly enjoy. It gives me a girl boner. Ha ha, just kidding. Seriously though, I do enjoy the show, but having read your commentary on it, I am way more aware of the bias of the editors and it is now easier to read between the lines-thank you for that perspective. I have a love/hate relationship with reality tv…take for instance the Kardashians. Horrible actors, the lot of them. Staged, so very clearly…and yet, so hard to not watch. As a person with more intelligence than the lower common denominator folks at the afore mentioned website, I don’t generally get so involved as to comment on websites (except here, which is a contradiction, but oh well…). However, sometimes I do like to peek in on what people are saying. Am I to believe what I see? Do others see it too? Kari Anne’s behavior was stunningly unbelievable. Can anyone be that horrible? Am I imagining this? When I peek in on those websites, I do see what you see…people with no lives that are living vicariously through others “reality” to avoid their own. It is poor-nography. (Ha ha, play on words (not that funny)) Sorry, I am rambling now, but your blogs incite me to write free form. So anyhow, yeah…I agree with your assessments and appreciate you despite what those horrible people are snickering in their hateful virtual worlds. Fuck em. Love you. (@iKeralot)
Ouch, “you Americans”? Not all Americans are that way. I wish more of “us Americans” could conduct ourselves like “you Brits”. You were warned not to go to the forums, just proves that you still love to be treated badly. I will continue to reinforce my positive opinions. The collection of haters is something to brag about. If you only have 10 today, try to get 11 by tomorrow. A bitter taste in your mouth is better than no taste at all. As snarky and vile as you are it is your direct candor, unselfish sharing and nasty taste we cannot get enough of!
I didn’t say YOU AMERICANS
How could anyone ever think you were ugly? If you weren’t gay, I wasn’t married, and you were at all unrepulsed by me, I’d go for you in a sec..lol…that’s a lot of IF’s..and it is not meant to be…just a way to say your fab… 🙂
O Duncan-you who I feel like I know and yet don’t really know at all:
You are
awesome
brilliant
amazing
beautiful
and very loved by many.
Let that be enough for today.
I love your blog, so refreshing to read it like it is, no frills no sauce just Duncans world. You should write that book, I would buy it. You are a very interesting person.
I really liked reading your take on British forthrightness, it has got me into hot water so many times but I love the reaction.I have been in the Usa 15 years now so it I had a good laugh reading your column.
Love your style, and you were the reason I watched the show, your ‘fresh white knickers’ comments had me in tears laughing.
I wish you lots of success whatever comes next for you.
Duncan,ignore the haters, you are a very handsome man.
I’ve watched the entire show thus far and while I do understand that there are many hours of film we didn’t get to see, nothing I’ve seen or since learned has changed my opinion of you. From the beginning I found you to be a kind, empathetic man, who like many of us has have bad things happen in your life. It was nice to see how supportive you tried to be. I wish you the best!
Interesting picture selection. That’s the Christmas spirit!
Did you see Invictus yet? It was pretty good.
I love you Duncan
Hah, what utter shit.
My roommate & I have loved you from the start, & continue to. So if you’re really that terrible, we probably are, too 😛
I have no idea what show those ridiculous people were watching. I didn’t see a hint of any of that.
I rather like direct people and find you to warm and sensitive, empathetic and brave.
Those people have serious problems. I know a lot of people who are watching the show- and you have helped change so many perceptions.
I hope you don’t read any more of that bile. I wish you nothing but the best… Trisha
Duncan,
I am sorry that I got so caught up in the removal of FB friends that I did not take the time to appreciate your words. @LittleMingo should know you are FAR from boring. In fact it is precisely your intellect and wit that draw me in! You really mind me a bit of my late father. He did not “suffer fools gladly”. You are amazing. Again, sorry I got caught up and felt hurt. You are loved by your castmates and I trust more than a Twitter stranger. I’m sorry, I know you said affirmations don’t turn you on, but I can’t help it! The only thing I fear is to bore you, I probably have more to me in my pinky than I’ll admit. My therapist said I have a Ferrari in my head I just need to use it!
Dear Duncan,
I am so sorry that you could not be more gentle with yourself. It breaks my heart that you fed your own inner monsters with the mean spirited words of others. You are in recovery. You need to protect the part of you that wants to hear he is not good enough, not worthy. You need to starve your insecurity. I hope you will make better choices going forward: that instead of spending 4 hours reading through mindless, hurtful drivel written by total strangers that you spend that time creating something new- writing- interacting with friends- dreaming.
Let your ego be celibate for awhile.
Be Well.
It probably isn’t a good idea to wallow in the muck of the VH1 Sex Rehab MB, especially if you’re getting erections.
I’ve posted there about a dozen times, and I realized today what a thorough waste of my time as I seemed to be spending all of it telling these scholars and gentlemen not to judge the cast or lamenting Dr. Drew’s incompetence. My point’s made- I’ll check here to get my post show fix.
Dwemmy, why do you go on celebrity gossip sites and tell people not to judge? Of course it’s a waste of time.
Great, now I feel guilty for reading and occasionally posting something in the “Sex Rehab” forum over at TWOP. Just great! Even worse, I now learn that since everything I ever posted there with regards to you, or something you’d said on the show, was positive and an attempt to defend you, all this time I’ve been giving you a theoretical hard-off. I’m terribly sorry, Duncan. That was inadvertent on my part, as I’d much prefer to think of you with a raging boner than any erectile dysfunction.
Were you really unaware that there’d be people who would watch your reality show, form opinions about what they see and then express those opinions all over the internet? I assumed everyone knew about this stuff. After all, it’s been going on for years & years. Maybe I’m a complete loser for eating snack-foods and reading through my favorite TWoP forums before going to bed at night, but I don’t care because it is truly enjoyable for me. Not quite as much fun as reading some of the posts I’ve seen on this particular blog perhaps, but still fun. I think every obsessive television addict ought to try it at least once. A warning though – if you ever dare to mock any of the moronic armchair psychologists who endlessly post their diagnoses of everyone on television, or try too hard to defend a “cast member” who is popularly despised there, the moderators may remove your postings or even ban you from the site completely. I’ve been banned thrice so far, and I found each banning hilarious.
One last thing – the person who made that facefucking comment which you reprinted is in fact a gay male. I’m familiar enough with his previous TWoP postings that I can say this with some degree of certainty.
You are one of the ‘baddies’ on the show? I don’t see you as mean, a baddie,whiny or anything negative.
Frankly,I see David Weintraub (whever his name is) as a baddie. The man appears to be an unsavory parasite and I don’t understand why Vh1 at least appears to use his services quite a bit.
Also- is it usual to for a rehab to hire a personal trainer not trained as a tech? Did I read that correctly that Selma is really a personal trainer?
I really don’t know if it is or not. I am sober and clean but was a time rehab patient. I never wondered if any of of the techs were trained for their jobs.
Of course, one of my obsessions was always the fact I was denied caffeine at that rehab clinic)
Hi, Duncan!
I’m sure you could tell I was talking about Kari Ann in that post, since she’s the one close to my age. I was talking about things I learned in my university’s psychology and criminal justice classes but right after wrote it, I thought I worded it badly.
I actually appreciated your sarcasm and wouldn’t take being called “snarky” as an insult. I wish you had seen my other posts, including this one where I praised your ability to be harsh:
“It really pisses me off that James said he was going to do that to Jennie. I doubt it but I hope they’ll kick him off for that, or at the very least Duncan will do the verbal equivalent of breaking his skateboard in half and shoving each piece, wheels and all up his ass.”
I’m also the one that has left you a few comments about how much I felt like I could relate to you because I was sexually abused when I was 4. But if anything I said in fact did contribute to your erection, I’m proud of myself.
that picture grosses me out!! haha
🙂 You blog is great. It’s get’s better everytime. I think I am hooked. Love the picture by the way.
Look at the bright side of the haters. They hate Weintool even more than they hate you.
Me, I don’t hate any more. It dawned on me how stupid it is to give someone I dislike so intensely so much power over my emotions. Something I learned from that KA couldabin.