I managed to stay in my bed until 6am. Winter finally arrived in LA and there were flurries of snow in Malibu. The city now has a backdrop of snow-covered mountains.
Feeling fractured today. Balls and lower back still aching. Don’t trust doctors. Especially here where they just want your money. Hail socialized medicine!
I finally watched episode 6 of Sex Rehab. Kari Ann continuing to provide a rich seam for the producers to mine, almost not worth commenting on until Selma’s dismissal. The facts are: Kari Ann failed every one of the mandatory drug tests and was not thrown out of the Pasadena Recovery Center. Active drug users are not allowed to stay in Rehab because they are actively using drugs! The excuse for the meth found in her pee was that she was also taking prescription medication that may have made her test positive. So, whilst the ‘rules’ applied to Selma they did not apply to Kari Ann. Kari Ann’s behavior would never have been tolerated in any regular rehab facility. Selma should not have been provoked daily by the antics of a known drug user in the facility. Selma, in my opinion, was thrown under the bus for the sake of MORE drama. Disturbingly, both Drew and Jill seemed complicit with the producers rather than with us the patients. After Selma’s firing was aired the attitude within the community of recovering men and women toward the show changed considerably, in fact, Sex Rehab lost a great deal of credibility and for that I am very sorry.
Since the New York Times guy interviewed me I am feeling more suspicious and less warm toward the Producers of Sex Rehab. Whilst I feel that I am being fairly represented, albeit not chronologically, others are not.
As for James all I have to say about James is that you witnessed an ‘incident’ between us. After our spat we all got on very well. I taught him to knit, went to his house, have been in contact since. The ‘incident’ between Jenny and James happened 5 days after we arrived in rehab. Most viewers fail to realize that the show was shot 7 months ago, we were in the facility for 3 weeks and that there are 504 hours of real time shot on 20 cameras squeezed into 344 minutes of TV. You see only a fraction of the work, interaction, activities, etc. etc. It takes months to edit a show like Sex Rehab. The project ping pongs from Producer to Network until the amorphous ‘show’ takes shape planished by the tiny suggestions, remarks and notes of all the concerned parties.
As a filmmaker would I have edited it differently? Of course I would! As a Brit I am probably more ponderous than most Americans. We like a slower pace; we like to ‘live’ with the characters. Along with millions of other fellow Brits I used to watch the Big Brother contestants sleep at night. It was reassuring.
I promised Luna that I would take her to Runyon today. Today is a perfect day for a long walk. Cool, bright, views as far as Palos Verdes. The little dog is in pain-his dewclaw all swollen and pink. Luna in on my lap watching me type.
For those of you who may think that I have not explored my adopted country I want you to know that I have driven four times across the United States from LA to NYC and back again. I took both the southern and the northern routes. I spent time in New Mexico, Tennessee, West Virginia, Texas, Connecticut, Florida, and Mississippi. I particularly liked Memphis. I was stunned by the Memphis neighborhoods that had a church on every corner. In Arizona I marveled at the snow covered Grand Canyon. I listened to folk tell their stories and wrote them down for a novel that will probably never be written. I wanted, briefly, to retire to Austin. I gawped at the massive crosses on the interstate highways, I ate barbeque, catfish and chicken fried steak and scoffed at the provincial cuisine. My eyes widened when I saw the black men in Tampa Florida who all looked like stately Massai warriors. I smuggled the dogs into non-pet friendly hotels and was glad that I drove in the winter rather than the summer.
I have lived in your country for 5 years now and I have loved your warm welcome however London is calling me. It is charming me, convincing me to come home. I am committed to LA for the next six months then I really must be moving on.
By the way, this post should have been called, Fuck you Larry King! as yesterday we were bumped from appearing on his show-we were meant to be appearing on Friday. Amanda Knox trumped us. Damn you Amanda Knox. Damn you.
Duncan, I have sent you several tweets over the weeks and you have even responded to a couple and for that I am honored. I am so excited to hear you loved Memphis so much as I live in North Mississippi on the state line of TN and MS. You ate at the 2nd best BBQ spot around. Next time try Neely’s, it is the best! I am a native of this area so I speak from experience. I have tweeted you that your writing is magnificent and I would definetely buy a book you write, specifically I believe your bio would be mesmerizing. Please consider it if you haven’t already. I am glad you’ve been to Mississippi so you know the stereotypes are wrong. Homophobia and racism have all but gone by the wayside. Granted I am a caucasion wife and mother of four so I haven’t ever experienced personal prejudice but I have seen things change drastically in the last 20 years. My gay uncle couldn’t even live in this state peacefully 20 years ago and now he can and that makes me proud of the progress we have made. Thanks for your time Duncan. God bless you and I look forward to at least more of your blogs! Thanks for your honesty. Heather Stoddard
Come to Iowa my friend, I want to learn to knit and if you would like I can teach you to crochet. And we can cook, play cards and cribbage…. And you would just die of boredom Im sure 🙂
I don’t care how they portray you. The real you is here on this page. And I am thankful for a glance in to your life!
**Love**
Kari Ann is indeed a little bitch, however, Selma should not have attacked her. I totally agree Kari Ann should have been pulled off that show from the get-go. Selma seemed to be a nice, caring woman and sorry she had to leave the show like that.
Great blog Duncan!
Thank you for clearing up the Kari Ann incident for me. Having been inpatient a few times, I was having such a hard time believing they were letting her get away with all that was presented in the episodes so far. I find myself screaming at her image on the television! In the real world of rehab, she would have been kicked out. Indeed, the producers want her on there for effect.( so much so, that I hear she is in the next installment of Celebrity Rehab.)
I have a vivid memory of being in the hospital with someone that acted just like her. The very first time the gentlemen exploded and resisted participating, he was put on a behavior contract. The very next day, he violated it and was out. He had to find a different facility. This was done to maintain the healing environment for the other patients.
So, that being said, I am disappointed with the producers, and, to some extent, Dr. Drew. However, through this show, I am blessed with your fresh perspective on life and am very grateful.
Jill McKee
I actually commented yesterday afternoon about a blog entry on VH1’s site, and basically felt stung about the incident between Selma and Kari Ann. I felt for them both without neither condemning or condoning their behavior.
However, (and you’re excluded because you were there and you have first-hand knowledge) I made the comment because I felt concerned that other commentators were jumping to conclusions and condemning them both (though mainly Kari Ann, followed by Drew and Jill).
Your blog, among other sources, highlights why you shouldn’t believe everything you see on television; you do indeed only see a sliver of what really happens.
But, more importantly, your blog (and Jennie’s, among others) helps illustrate the fact that treatment for any addiction doesn’t end when a tv series wraps filming and certainly not after a fixed time period.
I’ve seen making of documentaries and read materials (I’d say the benchmarks are “The Abyss Special Edition THX laserdisk and the director’s commentary from “Ronin”), so I have an understanding for how such projects are put together and appreciate how difficult it can be.
That being said, I’m also disappointed with certain decisions that those involved with the show had made, and I’m surprised that they’d misrepresent the chronology of the events. Again, that’s why you (and others) blog. You can point what is true and what is not; and of course you have.
As a fan of movies and television shows, I would prefer to focus less on one cast member’s antics and try to strike an overall balance between cast members and aspects of treatment. In that regard, some episodes have worked (particularly episode 4) and some didn’t.
That aside, I’ve enjoyed reading your entries (and Jennie’s) and look forward to future entries. Hat’s off to you and others who had the courage to get help and stick with it.
Your frankness and articulation on the show is highly inspiring. You were in touch with your feelings more than you may think so back in Sex Rehab, but you have clearly made leaps and bounds from the show. Good luck on all you do. The future is brightest when one feels the world for both its raw cruelty and its exquisite pleasures, for coping is what makes us powerful.
Thank you!
Well, that explains alot about Kari Ann’s behavior. Why on earth would PRC allow a using person to stay in a treatment center? I find that appalling and rather dangerous for the other patients. Christ, allowing Selma to stay would have been more welcomed and safter. I get why they let her go after grabbing Kari Ann, no one puts their hands on a patient, but after watching Selma for weeks, you could see her frustration mounting. Sex Rehab turned into the Kari Ann Show.
You should retire here in Austin!!! We are a very dog-friendly city.
Hoping you feel better, find a doctor you feel comfortable with and get checked out!! Take care.
I watch Sex Rehab because I like to see the true human condition after glitz and glamour have been stripped away. I too am annoyed at Kari Ann’s behavior and find it getting in the way of the true story of recovery from deep hurt. I just looked at the Pasadena Recovery Center website and they have a comment posted that Kari Ann is signed-up to try detoxification on the upcoming Celebrity Rehab 3 show. Oh brother… don’t know if I could watch her continue this… Best wishes to Duncan and friends for future success! Thank you for sharing your story.
Oi. Kari Ann gives me a headache and I can understand why Selma reacted the way that she did.
I was wondering what you thought of the incident with James and how or if that was ever resolved. I do wish that it wasn’t just an “Lets focus on one person’s exploits the whole time” type of show. It gets very old very fast.
During this particular episode I felt bad for Phil, he was really feeling the pressure and tension that was surrounding everyone, at least that’s how it looked. I know what it’s like to try and keep the peace when things are chaotic and feeling like everything is spinning out of control.
I can relate to James in a way, I have terrible ADHD and have been kicked out of many of my classes, I only recently got meds for it. I’m technically supposed to be a Junior in college but because of my troubles I’m a sophomore and will be graduating a year behind. Luckily I found a subject I loved, Film/Documentary Film Making and will be graduating by 2012.
I’m glad that you’ve enjoyed your stay in the US so far…where were you in NM if you don’t mind me asking? My moms recently retired there and live in Santa Fe, they looked at a small place called Silvery City but decided it was a bit too small for them. California’s pretty cool, I was born in San Francisco, the Haight Ashbury district and lived there for about 3 years.
Sorry to ramble so much. Must get back to studying, take care!
Kamala
I am usually cynical about most reality television (most television, really), so I didn’t think much of the timeline alterations you mentioned. It seemed typical and not that surprising. The longer I think about it, the more it bother’s me.
The Kari Ann story just becomes implausible and contradictory when stretched in time. However, the James/Jennie story changes completely when placed later in the treatment process. James’ behavior would be appalling after 16 days of group and therapy. It is the type of behavior that one would expect in the beginning, particularly in a reluctant patient (and much closer to the time Jennie was still being verbally provocative). It makes him look like a monster and stupid, and it makes the rest of the group’s reaction seem larger. Again, the group’s response to what James said was more in keeping with early process and would seem much more . . important later in recovery when people were gentler with each other.
I guess I was not cynical enough about VH1. Although I am still grateful that the show is being aired. I remember it was watching an episode of Donahue that I first learned of and recognized sex addiction (Yeah, I’m that old). The subject needs light shed on it even as imperfectly as VH1 is doing it.
It’s the Dr. Cranksky time stamp at the start of each day that makes the chronological deception so off-putting. We expect a spliced timeline but when we’re sort of promised by Drewpyface himself that what we’re seeing is taking place on the stated day, the deception is more personal. I don’t know how much he’s to blame because I don’t know how much control he had.
Were any of the other cast members able to relate to Kari Ann on an adult level?
Poor James. He’s no match for your brain and tongue. By laughing at the dildoes, I thought that was his way of returning the iciness you and Jennie treated him with (I’m not accusing you of being unduly cruel, I can’t know because of the editing). Was he normally that annoying or was that unusual for him?
I did the cross-country trip once too, I cherish the memories.
While I really would have liked to see Duncan on a talk show for once, I’m on team Foxy Knoxy. That free-wheeling party girl really did get railroaded.
Duncan, if you’d like some names of good doctors @ Cedars-Sinai, email me… You’re going to make yourself sicker with worry
Dear Duncan,
Come visit my family’s resort in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula! Where beautiful, unspoiled nature, and magnificent Lake Superior await you. The traditional dish of this area is the Cornish pasty, a pastry shell filled with beef, potato, and rutabega. The tradition was brought over by the Cornish miners who immigrated here to toil in the booming copper and iron ore industry. We’d be happy to make you an honorary “Yooper” I left a link to our myspace page.
Stay cool, but keep warm,
Miss Carrie
I love your insight into the show. I know what I see each week is just what was spliced together and you can always tell that there is so much more to it than that. It bothers me that Kari Ann is taking up time that others need and want so badly. She will play the game for a bit but when she gets tired of it, she quits or throws a fit or gets Selma fired. That drama is not necessary for the show. The actual content of the show is important. Seeing you and Phil and Amber and all the others have real emotions and revelations about themselves is what I like to see and I hope that everyone knows that most of the viewers are on your side and want you to be successful and happy.
Cmon Duncan. You have to know Selma signed a different performance contract than either you or Kari Ann did and you also have to know that it is a huge factor in who stays and who goes. Why are you ignoring that?
This show doesn’t go on without these contracts so whether or not they help, hurt or are indifferent to the purpose of rehab is irrelevant. No matter what anyone might want or expect from the show the producers had a say in whether or not Kari Ann stayed and their first priority was to put on a profitable show and that includes avoiding legal complications.
Selma very clearly put her hands on Kari Ann in an aggressive manner. Selma was very clearly doing her best to force Kari Ann to go to the group meeting whether Kari Ann wanted to or not and that doesn’t work, ever. Selma should have backed away from Kari Ann after the vase and reported it to her supervisor. She knew that but didn’t. Instead, she did exactly what Kari Ann wanted her to do so that Kari Ann could justify her own actions. Provocation is irrelevant just as you calling that tech an idiot would not have been a reason for him to stick his finger in your face and say “fuck you asshole” even if you deserved it at the time. Good on you for apologizing by the way.
Aside from that I have mixed feelings about Kari Ann. I lived with someone very like her for somewhere between 6 months and a lifetime. It was hell on earth from day one and the biggest feeling I had when it was over was overwhelming shame for putting up with it for as long as I did. She’d been raped at 12 though could only admit to being attacked and refused to admit to being raped. Once I had some distance from her and the relationship I realized that, emotionally, she was still 12 years old and had no sense of consequences, impulse control, or responsibility. She was constantly trying to get me to lash out at her so she could justify her treatment of me. Just like Kari Ann.
Every time Kari Ann has acted out (that’s been shown, I’m very aware that we’ve seen only a fraction of what was filmed and only for it’s entertainment value) it has been to avoid confronting her past trauma. Every single time. Group, makeup, art, t-shirts. She just doesn’t want to think about it. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if the only therapy and counseling she’s had was on this show. On the other hand it would surprise me greatly if your therapy and counseling started with this show.
Mark, thanks for that. I hadn’t really given Selma’s contract a second thought However-within the context of a rehab..Kari Ann’s drug use was ignored by trained professionals. Had she been thrown out when her drug use was discovered then Selma would not have been fired. I have no great compassion for Selma BTW. I just think that what happened to her was unjust.
I’m not sure Selma was suited for this at all. She just wasn’t prepared mentally to respond or handle such childish behavior from an adult and that type of behavior was inevitable given the backgrounds of the patients. I’m truly amazed Kari Ann was the only one exhibiting that level of immaturity. Clearly you, Phil, Nicole, Kendra, and Amber had made up your minds you needed help with this so I guess it’s not so surprising. James I’m not so sure of one way or the other. I suspect he came for the money and to be able to say he’d had treatment but I also suspect he got more from it than he expected.
I’ve not been through rehab for anything so I can’t really venture an educated opinion on Kari’s drug issue. I can venture an ignorant one and hope it makes some sense if only by accident.
Since Kari was failing drug tests from the start she either knew she wasn’t going to get thrown out or she just didn’t care. Getting back to her desire to shut out the trauma I think it likely she didn’t care about getting caught. Which suggests her drug use was just as much a result of her trauma as her behavior. Without any overt drug use (Seth Binzer smoking crack on the roof of the PRC) I think some leeway was acceptable. Especially given the commitment to treatment of the other patients.
Do you think maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that Kari and Amber were put in the same room together? One a committed recovering addict and the other notso? Perhaps there was even a 2 way purpose to it with Kari intended to reaffirm in Amber’s mind just exactly what she didn’t want to go back to. That’s probably a stretch that it was intentional but you might want to ask Amber if that wasn’t the result.
It was mentioned early on that both Dr’s thought Kari had not been sober of drugs since her previous drug rehab so maybe they were responding to it with Kari one on one and away from the cameras. I hope so cause it would really suck if Dr Pinsky was ignoring something he is supposed to be so committed to treating.
You had a much clearer picture so if I’m off base I apologize in advance.
I haven’t watched this episode yet had to study for a final (35 years old and almost a college graduate) I am going to try to catch it. My husband said it was drama filled with Kari Ann and Selma. I am glad I read this before watching.
Duncan just wanna say I think you are great. I don’t know you but you seem like such a sweet guy on the show. Someone I would love to know.
Thank you for posting about the show. I am dissappointed with the show’s producers on how it is going. They have made it to where Kari Ann’s drama is more importent than the rest of the group’s recovery. I am proud of the rest of the group. Even James. He realized that he needs boundaries and that is a big first step. Selma knew better than to do what she did. She was in Kari Ann’s face and she shouldn’t have been. She should have walked away and got help from another tech.
Keep writing. You are an inspiration!
Duncan,
I have come to realize that your words here are making the show much more real to me. Actually, I think what you say here is revolutionary because you don’t balk at calling bullocks (I can speak English LOL) where it is due, and clarifying how what you see is not necessarily what you get – – the smoke and mirrors of TV.
As much as I hate to mention it, Kari Ann, from what I saw on tee vee, had much deeper issues than sex addiction that needed to be addressed before she even stepped foot into sex rehab.
Before I ramble on, I’ll stop and just say that I appreciate your being real, and as far as I can tell, honest.
By the way, you write so fucking well I envy you.
Your absolutely right its so hypocritical of them to apply the rules to Selma and not to Keri-Ann espically with her blantent disregard for the recover process. She is a hindrance more than anything else I think that she was kept on for nothing but the producers wishes for more drama (which is completely not fair to you all who were there w/ the intent of recovery). Its not easy to edit hundreds of hours down to several TV worthy minutes but they definitely could of done a better job. Its critical to convey the message of sexual addiction in this show and not just another TV drama now more than ever. Years ago people denied that alcoholism was a desaise and just an excuses, now the same thing is happening to sexual addiction it is starting to come into the light and people are critical of it saying its just an excuses for people who got caught (yes you Nancy Grace you media whore and bigot) The producers have a chance here to really help people accept that sexual addiction is real and not something invited for TV and clebs
Hi Duncan – you are by far my favorite person on the show. The session where you realized you had to protect your inner child was very real and very moving. I really wish there had been more therapy and less Kari Anne in the show.
It’s really too bad you couldn’t take all the hours of film shot for Sex Rehab and put it together in a way that is more representative of what really happened. Have you ever thought about approaching VH1 about it? Maybe someone has asked you that before.
Anyway, I’m glad to see you’re taking the opportunity of rehab to heart, and working to make yourself a healthier, happier person.
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