How do I feel about being excluded from Oprah’s Sex Rehab special? You may well ask dear blog readers. I feel PISSED OFF! The producer’s excuse? They didn’t want to confuse the issue of sex addiction with a gay story. FUCK YOU OPRAH! Confuse the story? That’s a strange excuse because shame based societies like the African American community and Gay Communities have the highest incidence of sex addiction/sexual compulsion. There are plenty similarities between her and me. Pity she wasn’t prepared to have a sex addict on her show who actually works a solid 12-step programme. There you go I broke my SAA anonymity.
Whilst we are at it-what the hell is Drew doing on these shows pretending he knows jack about sex addiction? The woman who did all the work on the show was sex therapist Jill Vermiere! Drew speaks in the broadest terms about addiction but really-he knows nothing about sex addiction.
Drew’s specialty is substance abuse, but his real speciality is damage control-turning up at hotel rooms and coaxing heroin addicts into rehab. Coaxing crack addicts off of roofs etc. Most days in sex rehab I worked with Jill. If I could even bear looking at Drew he was mostly baffled by what was going on-by the depth of emotion, by our commitment to do the work. It was because of Jill that we did the work. She too has been silenced in all of this high octane press shenanigan-the two real recovering sex addicts have had their voices stolen firstly by Drew then by Oprah.
Mostly, though, I am seething about the media’s approach to anything gay. Our stories are never integrated hence we are never integrated. It would not surprise me if it were a big old gay boy who made decision not to have me on the show-after all us gays do the most damage to each other.
Did Oprah and her people forget that the gays have been her very loyal fans? But let’s face it we were Obama’s biggest fans and look how far that has got us. Frankly, Oprah, what HAVE you done for the gay community recently? Did you forget about us or are we just not powerful enough? The gay community supported the election of President Obama. The black community did not return the favor by supporting us in the Prop 8 battle. Why?
Don’t worry, I am not on Tyra either. Same reason. Poor excuse eh?
Duncan Roy's Blog 
Dr. Drew is the drawing card. Those who know anything about sex addiction know that people like Jill, Carnes and Dr. Sealy do the real work. If you can concentrate on anything concentrate on the fact that many people are becoming aware of the struggle despite the Hollywood’s portrayal.
Hi Duncan,
I understand your disappointment at not being invited…I recognize that sex addiction is universal and that a gay person suffers for many of the same reasons that a straight person suffers. But I can’t ignore the possibility that producers may feel the need to not mix topical ‘issues’ within a 1 hour time constraint and thereby risk confusing or distracting viewers. Maybe this is not discrimination but rather an adherance to talk show ‘best practices’.
Anyway, l have enjoyed watching you on the show and find your candor to be very helpful in understanding sex addiction. Good luck!
Mix topical issues? What does that mean? As you pointed out-sex addiction is universal. How could that have possibly confused things? lastly, I don’t think you do understand how gay people suffer. That is exactly why it is important to have us on the show-integrated rather than separate but equal. I am beginning to understand the true weight of that term. My biggest gripe of all with Oprah is that she failed to have a real sex therapist on her show.
You’re right, I’m not gay and don’t really know just how they suffer. I’m just trying to get into the head of producers here..They might view “gay” and “sex addicted” as two seperate things/topics that are best spoon-fed to middle american viewers one at a time..Might fear that some viewers could get distracted by the gay aspect and start asking questions spec about that, or wrongly associate the two (ie all gays are sex addicts ect)…I don’t work in talk show area so i don’t know for sure, but if you got same feedback from tyra show, maybe it’s industry standard to keep things as simple as possible for lowest common denominator viewer…
I agree that proper sex therapist would have been better.
Duncan would you have had any forum at all were it not for Dr. Drew? I can tell you it never occured to me that the gay community should have been included until I saw you on the show. My fault, I’m in recovery and knew well enough that addiction has no boundaries.
I would guess that most of Oprah’s viewers are sophisticated to figure addictions come in all shapes, colors and orientations. Shame on the show for leaving Duncan out. Stupid.
I am appalled not only by the Oprah move but by ignorant people out there thinking there is any difference between loving someone of the same sex and loving someone of the opposite sex and having sexual addiction in either circumstance. It’s about sexual addiction, period. To exclude you as being a gay man is just the same as not letting Oprah be a tv host 40 years ago because she is black. More prejudice. Horrible.
Bravo to you Duncan for all your honesty about ALL of this(including Dr. Drew, who I could clearly tell was out of his depth dealing with sexual addiction.Oh and his “poor baby” looks were patronising to say the least.
Thank god you have the balls to let people know what is really happening!
I wondered why you weren’t on as I watched the show. And it would have been much better if you *had* been on. Does the Oprah staff seriously think the audience couldn’t get their brains around the idea that sex addiction affects both straight and gay people?
I agree completely about Oprah’s chickenshit move.
Actually, my impression on the show so far and through the intarwebs is that you are already a strong voice and a leader on the issue. I was glad to see that Phil was getting some airtime on the issue. It just shouldn’t have been at the expense of including you. Isn’t it shocking that the Rockstar, the (ex)Pornstar and the Supermodel got picked for the TV Show? Who’d of thought?
And for my take on Dr Drew, I stupidly posted it after the Teen Queen blog by mistake.
I am glad that Phil (my friend), Jennie (my closest friend) and Amber got the opportunity of being on Oprah. I really am. I am not pissed that I didn’t go on but the REASONING behind it. That a gay would confuse the audience! And as for your take on Drew I agreed with you.
Of COURSE the show would have been way more interesting if your perspective had been represented. But then again, it’s Oprah; I typically don’t watch that show because it’s so watered-down. Essentially background noise. Bleagh. I suspect that soon enough you will find your niche and its gonna be WAY bigger than “Oprah show guest.” So you didn’t get this opportunity to sell yourself short. Okay! Yet it *was* good that Oprah had the show because those whose interest is piqued will be seeking out more… and there you’ll be. Excellent! P.S. You may not realize this since you don’t watch TV: Tyra’s show is even worse! We’re talking about sloggy daytime dreck here. Zzzzzzzz. You are way too rich for their blood: thank God!
Oprah seems so enlightened but sometimes I am shocked by her ignorance. The whole idea of bisexuality seems foreign to her. As a bisexual, that pisses me off. I really wanted to see you on the show, Duncan. I really appreciate all the cast members, but you are such a strong and articulate voice on this issue. I think you should have been there, it is NOT a separate issue that you are gay.
I’m hoping this was just a matter of only having a few guests on. I don’t see how Duncan’s story could have “confused” any of the viewers. If anything, it would reach out to even more people seeing as plenty of gay men tune in. Silly stuff, I’m disappointed in the show.
Duncan, I have written on Oprah’s message board just now. It will need to be approved before posting. It said that I felt her reasoning for leaving you off the show was insulting. That sexual addiction knows no race, religion, or orientation…that you all have unique backgrounds but a common addiction. I did not add that I was bisexual, because I did not want people to say “Oh she’s just upset because…”. I hope it will be posted. Not sure if you agree, but I said I felt Oprah owed you an apology.
I was disappointed because so far on sex rehab you have grabbed my attention. The show is focusing on the females at war which I just ignore and fast forward through it. What I like is the honesty that I see from you, Phil and Jennie. It helps me to understand what creates the problem in the first place. I honor you for your intellect Duncan. I’m sure it has been a boon and a problem. To have lived with insanity when you have such a fine intellect had to be extremely difficult. Your struggles with anger are understandable. There was truly nowhere for you to focus it when you were a kid. It just kind of sits there looking for a way out. No wonder your films are so good.
EXACTLY!!! Addiction has NO boundaries!!
It would have been nice to see you on the show so that you would have explained how childhood sexual abuse leads to sexuality confusion and never ending trauma
Don’t take it personally, Duncan. Oprah’s definitely the 800-pound gorilla but she’s great at avoiding/ignoring/intentionally blotting out indiscriminately. She lost me the day Andre Leon Tally from Vogue Magazine said “a woman is nothing without a pair of Manolo’s in her closet.” For any self-respecting woman to let a comment like that go by without contesting it for its ridiculousness, is not really looking at the whole picture — and certainly not serving anyone but her upper middle class soccer moms. It’s elitist power madness BS.
You’re compelling and your story is just unfolding for us all. Oprah ain’t everything, baby … Even if she THINKS she is … You have a story worth telling but she isn’t worth the anger; she tends to be such a “HISogynist” that your greatest worth to her would be if you were a gay man with sexual addiction who was cheating on his wife.
Cheers, friends … Blessings to you always!
Who the hell needs Oprah anyway~? Eff her!
Oprah’s a moron. She’s popular mainly because she appeals to the average woman with average tastes, average beliefs, and average prejudices. I saw that episode and was struck by your absence and my observation that Dr. Drew’s smarminess seems to be increasing.
I rarely watch the woman, but in the past 5 years I’ve seen 2 gay-themed episodes. One was about what it’s like to be gay around the world, and one of the segments consisted of Oprah shaming an Indian gay man for not being honest with his wife about his homosexuality. While I agree that his dishonesty deserved a comment, it seemed like that in her view, his dishonesty totally eclipsed the immense, pernicious social pressure that forced him to remain in the closet in the first place. I could be remembering it wrong but, but the memory leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
The second episode dealt with meth-addiction among gays and bug-chasing. Now bug-chasing truly sickens me, and it obviously sickened Oprah judging by her facial expressions, which were hilarious.
From my limited acquaintanceship with the Oprah Winfry Show, gay men in Oprah world are fastidious fashion junkies with disgusting sex lives. I don’t know if she’s done any shows on equal marriage rights, gay abuse and discrimination, gay suicide, gay youths, or gay shunning. I hope she has. I doubt she’s a bigot, just boringly safe and very silly.
Interesting point you make about Dr. Vermiere doing the grunt work while Dr. Pinsky just sits there with that sad look on his face. You hit that one square during group. I had noticed the overwhelming sense of PAIN the first episode I watched but hadn’t realized it might be so far outside Dr. Pinsky’s experience. It certainly does fit though. Drug Rehab was painful enough and painful to watch but wasn’t anywhere near what Sex Rehab has shown.
You better do a 10th step on Oprah & Drew or that shit will eat you up.
Those resentments are long gone. Write them down..flush them out.
Hi Duncan, I looked you up because you seem like an interesting person. You are very eloquent and reading your post makes me smile and it makes me stronger. Although I did not experience any of the same terrible things that you or the others on the show have, I believe that most people have experienced some type of a sexual trauma in their life. May it be that a person has sex to keep a person, or to be popular or to avoid a possible gang rape we have all been there. The latter being that I was left at a club after my friend left with a guy she just met, I got a ride from a guy who took me to his house {He said that he needed to get something real quick, and that I should come in and not wait outside in the dark} I knew this guy from the club because he was the lead singer in the house band and I was not his type of girl, as he liked the tall blondes, and I am a petite brunete. Any way once I went indoor I saw that there were a lot of guys sitting around playing poker. His house was out in the country- literally, and he motioned for me to come to his room. He pretended to ruffle through some clothes and drawers and approched me. When he took off his clothes and he pulled down my pants, I felt that if I made a big deal about it I could possible raped, beat up or killed. While it was happening I was thinking to myself is this rape? It was over just as soon as it had started and I wanted to run to the shower to wash him off, but I had to act cool, then I thought he may turn it around on me and the thought of terrible rumours about me was more than I could handle. I have been angry at myself for years and feel a lot of shame about it because I am strong and that incident made me weak. This happened when I was 22 years old and I am now 45. When you were talking to the Dr. Sealy and you realized that you “punish the little boy”, your eyes lit up and you seemed so so surprised and relieved to figure out that this is the problem and you may possibly be able to fix it. I hope that I can have the same “Of course moment too” Ps:You love couches and I love curtains, I have so many but the the thought of taking down and putting up is so daunting so I just keep them in the closet and look at them from time to time. Wishing you a super holiday!
I just want to say gay or straight you are a human being. You bleed red blood when hurt, cry tears when sad, breathe the same air. You had every right and reason to be on the show as anyone else. I admire your courage to stand up and be who you are and that to me means more than your sexuality! Thank you for being you and helping others put a face on a very hush hush addiction. You should be very proud because although I don’t know you, you come into my living room every Sunday and show me that no matter what situation life throws at me I can get through it. Thank you!
I’ve been watching the show, I also watched Oprah. I think what Oprah told you was crap and an excuse. I believe she was most likely afraid of you, afraid of what you may say, how you may say it. I mean this as a compliment to you. I think your courage will help you greatly in your recovery, but at the same time it may scare the shit out of people. You are very bold with your words, not someone Oprah could control a conversation with and Oprah always has to control the conversation. Not meaning to disrespect your friends who did appear on Oprah, but they seem to be much more careful and cautious in how they speak. – On another note, I hope you are doing well and I don’t know if you believe in prayer or not but I have said one for you…that you may heal and go on to enjoy beautiful healthy relationships. It takes a special person to be able to not only confront their struggles head on but to share them with a TV audience watching. My husband was abused sexually as a child and has gone on to form a great relationship with me as well as being a wonderful father. Best wishes to you!
Duncan, a very honest and straightforward blog. The question shouldn’t be about gay or straight, it should be about sex addiction. The truth is there isn’t enough space in a span of one hour to do any group justice. However there should be a better solution than cutting out one group or another. THey put all of you together because you represent different types of people and america can relate to different personalities. I am sorry for your frustration and anger over all of this. It hurts to see you go thorugh this.
[…] been invited on the shows because he is gay. He’s had a lot to say about his exclusion in his personal blog: “How do I feel about being excluded from Oprah’s Sex Rehab special? You may well ask dear blog […]
Love the blog and the show is captivating. Fuck Oprah, indeed ! Why do you think the gay press is not covering this ? I live in San Francisco and addiction/recovery issues are covered in the local press – gay and straight. Not so w/national gay press ?
The Oprah show was a sham! Most of the time was dedicated to Amber (and not really). Oprah and her producers reduced sexual addiction to “women stalking boyfriends.” I wanted to smash the screen in when Oprah started (in a rather cavalier manner) gesticulating about driving for hours following some guy. Please!
I’m glad Phil was given some space and Jennie…but that was maybe the first twenty minutes. I was also disappointed you were not featured/invited and frankly not surprised as Ms. O hasn’t dealt with ANYTHING gay. Not really. Not to my knowledge. Too scary a subject for *her*.
Your presence (and Jill V.) on the show would have given it authenticity.
You had me until you mentioned the fact that… “The black community did not return the favor by supporting us in the Prop 8 battle. Why?” WELL, let me tell you and the people supporting Prop 8 why: It’s tough enough for People of Color who are GLBT to LIVE within our community. Church social structure is all we have, given the centuries of racism we have experienced as a people. And in the church, bible scriptures are used to “justify” homophobia. If a person comes out, or actively speaks out, we risk being severed from those family ties or worse, killed. Why do you think GLBT persons from places such as Jamaica move to the US? There is such a hostility against GLBT there that you could get tortured or killed if you even show a hint of your sexual orientation! My sister is an out Lesbian, yet, she still faces hostility with certain family members because of her openness. Well, that is what we face. Being scorned from immediate social/familiar circles is traumatic(sp?)especially if you’re a GLBT Teen of color! It’s small wonder why there was less support amongst people of color. Don’t cast stones on our community, because unless you’re part of it, you clearly don’t know what’s going on!
Kathy: and what better forum than Oprah’s show?? She of all people, WHO SHOULD UNDERSTAND THE DISCRIMINATION blacks face should have opened the gates. Why *not* have Duncan on the show? Because for all the flaunting she does, there is one issue she doesn’t want to touch. I find her rather hypocritical.
Kathy, I don’t understand what you’re saying. You are obviously aware of the homophobia in the black community because you admit that it is a problem, yet you’re mad at Duncan for pointing it out because he’s an outsider? Whether somebody is an outsider or not has no bearing on the validity of their criticism. Sometimes, an outsider’s perspective can be more accurate because an outsider doesn’t have the cultural or ideological bias that might prevent him from seeing the problem clearly.
I don’t know why homophobia is so rampant among blacks. I suspect it is directly the result of judeochristianity, but the reason for their homophobia is hardly relevant for the issue at hand. The issue here is the active oppression of another group of people. When people actively strip away equal rights from their fellow citizens they deserve harsh criticism, and no appeal to understand their specific cultural values is going to work as a defense. I think you’re just pissed off that a non-black person criticized black culture, because you clearly agree with his criticism.
I want to clarify that I know that 30% of black Californian voters voted against prop. 8, and I know there’s no one monolithic black American culture. My point is that culture is not a defense, and that members of other cultures can offer valid, rational criticism.
I don’t like Oprah. I don’t watch Oprah. She’s ignorant and small minded and I’m glad her show will be ending soon.
That being said, Duncan, you are my favorite person to watch on Sex Rehab, and last week, your session with Dr. Sealy seemed incredibly eye opening for you. I know that if I had been in your shoes and heard someone say that to me, I probably would have broke down and cried with that new realization. I hope that doing this show really has helped you and you continue to learn and overcome everything you’ve dealt with.
You have a lot of fans who are rooting for you and the rest of the “cast” so good luck to you all!
Duncan,
Your suspicion about gays running the Oprah show and being homophobic about what gets put on the air is true. My friend and his partner of 10 years were actually featured on a Valentine Special she did. It was their 10th anniversary and my friend had a great story about how Oprah called him one day many years ago, but it was a wrong number. They wound up chatting for a half hour. Between the anniversary and that story, he was a natural to be featured. (He is also hilarious) Anyway, they almost didn’t make the cut and he told me about the reticence of the staff to have them on. However, when he announced he and his boyfriend had been together 10 years, the whole audience applauded. So much for America not being ready for “the gays.” Sorry to hear they didn’t have you on. You would have been awesome and able to articulate certain things better than most.
[…] and he says this is no coincidence on his blog. In a post titled “F*** you Oprah,” Duncan writes: “How do I feel about being excluded from Oprah’s Sex […]
Fuck Oprah indeed. Her approach to lots of things is so hypocritical, from not wanting a “gay” angle on a story when she herself is believed to be gay (the female black Larry Craig, eh?) to calling people out for dishonesty when she has about 30 pounds airbrushed from her “O” magazine cover every month (unless those are pics of her with she was 20 with her present head tacked on). And her teary “I’m leaving the show” speech last week made me sick. She’s leaving the show FOR HER OWN NETWORK…she’ll be everywhere but on your fucking toast. And I’m sure some hillbilly will see her in that, too, and set up a shrine. She’s the perfect example of “give ’em a little money and they think they’re God”. Guess what? God is dead. Fuck her.
Duncan,
I have been watching you on the show and I find you to be an inspiration. I too am a recovering addict (cocaine) and now fear that have I have transfered my addiction to a need for my boyfriend, who was also my drug partner for the past 16 years. When I found out Oprah had snubbed you I had no interest in watching the show and once again proved to me that she is only interested in her own agenda. Your strength and honesty should be applauded by everyone and the people who look upon you badly should be ashamed of themselves, but as the saying goes the ones who are up on the pedestal have the furthest to fall…and you my friend like myself have been to the bottom..so from here we can only go up. Stay strong and know that you have affected peoples lives in a positive way.
I’ve felt for years Oprah has a deep shame over her own homosexuality–something I’d bet she won’t even admit to in some sort of deathbed biography (which we all know will come). I haven’t watched her shows in years (my mother watched it when I was a child) and I flipped on whilst Ellen was on not too long ago–and Oprah’s discomfort was blaringly obvious and made me pissed off, frankly.
As for Drew–I just had the thought the other day that Dr.Drew is becoming Tyra Banks. I listened to him on Loveline for years and respected him a lot–but more and more he seems to be falling into his own trap of celebrity instead of focusing on helping people. Which I do believe was his original intent, and I do believe that the good guy in him still wishes he could do. He’s just become distracted with the MEMEME of things and that’s sad. And no matter how good his advice, his experience with addicts of any sort, or his schooling? The truth is that he ultimately is a upper class man who has never faced any of these slights in his own life, nor did he even experience them through his parents or a sibling’s addiction. And it’s no secret that addicts understand addicts.
Good luck in all that faces you in the future. I’m going to keep reading here & I’m one of MANY people hoping and wishing for the best when it comes to you! 🙂
I had no idea why you were missing from that show. I looked forward to seeing you, it was disapointing you were not there. I think your comments and insights would have made the show more interesting. My wish is that love will open peoples hearts and minds so that no one will have a thought about any kind of “gay” issue causing a problem on TV or anywhere. And as for as this situation goes addiction is addiction, nothing else should have mattered.
thank you Duncan for raising the bar. I loved watching you on dr. drew. I am a white middle aged woman who wanted to know. By the way, how are you? plz let us know someway how you are doing.
You are not paranoid. Oprah had on Dennis Hof for an hour to promote his brothel, but for 20 years she has refused to do a show about our work at http://www.sexworkersanonymous.com or with trafficking victims at http://www.tapsdirectory.org
If you ever need to talk to someone in recovery who understands you, we are here for you. I tried getting Dr. Drew to let you know about us when filming the show Celebrity Rehab. I guess he didn’t because then there is a missed opportunity for another show!
Amen! And many white gays are absolutely clueless to the struggles gay people of color have to endure everywhere…even WITHIN the gay community itself.
As a gay man of color, I had ZERO support from the gay community when I first came out in the ’90s. Why? Because at that time and even currently, the gay community as a whole, caters to mostly WHITE gay males. Don’t believe me? Look at most gay publications, gay films, gays in tv shows, and the gay media overall. Almost all of them feature young, gay, white men. They very rarely, if not at all, feature gay men of color. It seems the gay culture as a whole thinks of the gay black male as something ugly. And I won’t even go into the racist behavior I encounter with gay white men that I NEVER encountered with straight white men.
So Duncan, you can talk negative all you like about the African-American community. But you will NEVER know how it feels to struggle as a gay person of color within the African-American community AND within the gay community.
Jon R. Please read my blog Fuck Angry. I think you will find that you have misjudged me.
duncan. i liked you on rehab because i believe you stood up for what you truly felt and believed in. wore your heart on your shoulders. i’m not going to scold you for your ‘black community’ comment, because you clearly already have been and it doesn’t do anyone any good to scream and shout about a simple mistake of ignorance (which we all are guilty of, time and again). i’m a white male, so i can’t say that i fully understand the deep and complicated issues of the ‘black community’, however, i can say that the “gay community” did not by any means do anything for the ‘black community’ by voting for obama. that’s an ignorant statement. who else was the ‘gay community’ going to vote for? mccain? the ‘gay community’ voted for the most liberal and able-bodied candidate for obvious self-profiting reasons (which is the nature of votes and politics).
ALSO with oprah’s time constraint of her one hour show, i see why she wouldn’t want to confuse the topic of homosexuality with sex-addiction. the ‘gay community’ is a culture purely based on sex. the only reason it’s even its own community is because people of that community choose (i use this term to mean the choice to have sex) to have SEX with those of their same sex and therefore are a unique and discriminated minority in society, and thereby look to their micro-community for support. but i would say that every gay person i’ve ever met and talked to had all the signs of sexual addiction. not simply because they were gay.. probably because of circumstances out of their hands like societal pressure on homosexuals, discrimination and shame that follow homosexual feelings, sexual frustration based on unavailability of sexual partners to those that are afraid to go out and seek other homosexuals, and simple promiscuity that stems from any of these things including molestation or rape.. so i think oprah did the right thing on a certain level by not adding the homosexual side of sexual addiction because it is far more complicated than heterosexual sex addiction
Greg, I agree. Oprah would have had to dedicate a whole show to discuss addiction from a gay perspective. Just being gay is a very complex and difficult experience. If you add on sexual addiction, the discussion would take on a whole different tone, and would require hours of discussions. And by the way, Oprah did a whole show back in the ’90s about the life of gay men. As I remembered, she even had a panel of gay men on her stage discussing about their experiences and feelings about being gay. So, she’s definitely not homophobic.
As a gay man, thankfully, I don’t suffer from sexual addiction. However, most of the gay men I’ve encountered did. And thankfully again, I didn’t fall for their traps. The reason I say traps is because as a single gay male seeking a committed, long-term and monogamous relationship, I’ve met many gay men who say they’re seeking what I’m seeking, but in actuality is just looking to fulfill their sexual desires. This after I already told them I’d like to first take things a bit slow and get to know them first on a nonsexual level. But boy, is that a HUGE turn off for most gay men. It’s almost like they don’t know how to separate sexual intimacy from emotional intimacy when it comes to relating with other gay men. I can’t even develop meaningful gay platonic male friendships without sex being the deciding factor. As one gay friend once told me, I’m going against the grain when it comes to meeting gay men with similar values as myself. The bottom-line is, the gay male culture is a HIGHLY sexualized culture. When most people think of gay men, all they think about is how sexualized we are. And you can’t blame them. Look at all the gay references in mainstream media and within the gay media. It’s VERY rare that you see two gay men together in loving way without sex playing a role.
Fuck Oprah is right. How the hell is your addiction any different than anyone else’s simply because you are a gay man? Addiction is addiction, no matter what your race, gender, or sexual orientation is. I just finished watching all of the episodes and Duncan, you were my absolute favorite on the show. Your candidness and willingness to help yourself has made you an inspiration to all. I wish you all the best.
After that whole James Frey thing, Oprah’s credibility on addiction is about zero (and I’m assuming her producers as well) so you should feel some relief perhaps in not being invited. Maybe Oprah’s story is sooo close to yours that it’s just a little too close for comfort for her. That is the vapidness of Oprah’s show: she achieved her popularity by her candor and emotional openness about her own abuse but she hasn’t really matched it since.
I have noticed that when Oprah has anything gay on the show, it seems to make her uncomfortable. I think it’s one topic she just doesn’t get, above and beyond her own orientation. That’s clearly shown by her not having you on the show. I totally related to you on the tv show though and you brought a much needed element.
I disagree with you Beth (comment above) about James Frey because he and his publishers blew that one, which pisses me off since I’m writing a memoir. HE kind of wrecked the credibility of memoir writers.
There are many of organizations I’d like to say “Fuck You” to. One of them being the organization GLAAD. For not doing enough to tackle the lack of gay diversity within gay media and publications. So Oprah isn’t alone in being fucked.