Malibu Sunday
The day Sex Rehab airs I read twitter posts avidly. East coast viewers are the first to start letting me know the content of each episode. Today, for instance, I know that Kari Ann’s Miss Teen America tiara arrives in the Rehab. A request I made of her so I could wear it. I have always wanted to wear a Miss America crown. The irony is not lost on me. The gaudy iconography of a teen queen. As soon as I knew Kari Ann I wanted her crown. I have no idea if my requests will be screened but she really had no intention of bringing the crown into rehab until I demanded it.
Consequently Kari Ann taught me how to walk like a Princess, answer teen queen catwalk questions, sang the pageant anthem as I sashayed around the rehab garden wearing her crown. I loved it so much. I loved her crown even though it was a bit beaten up-when they took away her title she had thrown it at the wall.
Don’t you just love that scene in the movie when the teen queen throws her crown at the wall? It’s a great scene.
“Miss teen America is founded on the principle that the future of our world is dependent upon the leadership qualities of today’s youth. We believe that involvement in community service should be both encouraged and rewarded. We further believe that in order to become a strong leader a young woman must be a well-rounded individual. She must challenge herself scholastically, she must be poised, and she must be comfortable with herself in respect to her learned and natural talents. She must possess a strong desire to effect a change in her world, and to set an example for others to do the same. In the spirit of competition, she must be gracious. With this in mind, we provide the forum for young women to challenge themselves to be their best, and we reward them for their efforts.”
Poor Kari Ann, how was she ever going to be all the above snorting meth every day? Engaging in soft pornography and making sex tapes with Rebecca Gayheart? The problem is: she was a nice normal girl before LA bit her in her fat ass.
Gloria Steinham might disagree. Feminists might say that she is merely empowering herself. I doubt it though. Jenny Ketcham is empowering herself. She is an American Writer and will only grow in stature and relevance. Kari Ann will become even more irrelevant than she already is.
As much as she was a pain in the ass I really became fond of Kari Ann. I know that this might be hard to believe but when you get to truly ‘know’ a person-regardless of wether you ever see them again-they tend to linger in your heart.
When Kari Ann wasn’t teaching me how to be a Miss Teen America I was teaching James how to knit-which he took too with some gusto. My grandmother taught me how to knit when I was five years old. The surfer dude was a joy to teach.
Fuck! I hate how the editors have edited Sex Rehab. It’s a pile of shit.
Update. Eric, Jenny, Justin and I went to b’day party in Santa Monica. It was situated in a dance studio. There were gays for me to goad and straights for me to tease. We left before midnight. I slept well. Strangely the little dog preferred to sleep on the sofa. Whilst we were at the party Luna stayed in the bathroom with her bone and damage, when I returned, was minimal. I think it gave the little dog some time away from Luna’s frantic puppy behavior too.
Did not fret about blood clots. In fact, gave them very little thought all day.
More will be revealed.
I’m watching it tonight. 9 pm central. Though I agree about the editing…if you would see other Vh1 shows you would be pleased there is such a show. I hope they show a bit of your interaction with Kari Anne. It would be nice to show a good side of her, rather than what we are being shown. Every person has worth and dignity.
I agree with you about the editing. If I could only show you the emails I receive wishing they showed more of the actual treatment process and less of the “drama” in between the therapeutic elements. It’s frustrating knowing what REALLY happened and what is actually being shown. But, again, at least it’s bringing awareness and insight into what sex addiction really is. There is good coming from it. The rest we have to turn over and trust the process. ;o) Still very proud of all of you for your courage, integrity, and grace. Glad you are enjoying your recovery and having fun. “We are not a glum lot”. ;o)
Actually today while I was doing laundry I got to thinking and realized that Keri Ann’s petulant behavior reminds me of my own, before I was really ready to “deal” with my repressed memories of childhood sex abuse (which occurred fairly frequently when I was between about 3 and 8 years old, typically in the middle of the night, when my father would come home black-out-drunk, apparently in communion with some sort of incubus if not the Devil himself).
Granted, it was WAY before I was ready to deal with those repressed memories/emotions – about 26 years actually – and I was only about 10-12 at the time… but I remember now how the unacknowledged seething anger – mostly displaced and so confounding given that I honestly had no memory of the abuse – would bubble up at just about anyone, especially anyone who, I now see, should have/could have rescued me but didn’t… mom, dad himself, my sisters. But also anyone “nice,” sociable, friendly, or who otherwise had their shit together in ways I did not and could not. Those who had the nerve to try and reach out to help me bore the least-deserved share of my wrath and scorn – “cause, seriously? who in the hell did they think they were…” presuming they could offer any solace or insight into the depths of my pain when I myself couldn’t bear to even acknowledge its existence, let alone accept the horrifying truths at its root? “Hell-LO!”
If I were to have posted a sign with my Company Policy on my bedroom door it would have read thus: “Any and all offers of help should be presented in material form* and with great supplication and apology. This might lessen your punishment, but will not excuse you from it. Thank you.”
*preferably a nice hunter/jumper and the Stubben saddle, plus monthly stall board and the cost of trailering to any and all Pony Club events. And NO, you are not welcome to come along to these – you’re embarrassing and having you around makes me feel ashamed.
Okay, so a lot of that was tangential, (Not to mention cathartic – phew! Thanks.) but ALL of it was to say… maybe the episode on Keri Ann’s episode was actually somewhat on-topic and educational afterall. Theory: Sometimes/typically/commonly (???) at some point little girls (and possibly the boys too given the opportunity) who have been abused decide it is “pay-back time” and start dealing with their pain by making unreasonable demands on the people around them. I mean, could ANYTHING they come up with be further out-of-line than the demands THEY were expected to meet?
Come to think of it I seem to remember noticing this phenomenon in Lolita too. If I remember correctly, doesn’t the little girl at some stage start to become quite a handful for old Humbert Humbert?
So. Agree? Disagree? And who wants to do the research? 😉
Honestly, as a viewer the editing kind of gets me a bit myself. I know they’d like to think that conflict sells (and maybe to some people it does) but it makes me sleepy. As a viewer I “get” that there is something going on with Kari Ann beyond what seems like a sex addiction and it it was obvious by episode 2. The majority of the third episode felt like a repeat.
But the drawback to making that the focal point of the show is that I lose what *I* am actually interested in which is what is going on with you and everyone else. I mean, I assume everyone wasn’t just sitting there talking about Kari Ann all day but actually had more substantial although I do understand that she must have been disruptive, especially early.
And I agree completely with Jil. For some of us, the drama is the therapeutic process which at times can be a battle of wills even if everyone is committed. And it’s a little odd to see people just blurt out their trauma’s immediately with no prodding all the time. If psychiatry was that easy, I think I could have just fixed myself on a random Sunday afternoon listening to Queen and just being randomly profound. Anyway, thank you for going on the show and everyone who put it together. Even if I find the narrative hard to swallow as well, the effort is appreciated.
Ugh. I hate late at night commenting with no edit button. That should have been two sentences and should have read:
“I mean, I assume everyone wasn’t just sitting there talking about Kari Ann all day but actually had more substantial discussions. Although, I do understand that she must have been disruptive, especially early.”
Please give thought to your health. My uncle would be alive today if he had not ignored his symptoms till it was to late. It could be nothing so not fretting is fine just please find out.
Thank you for your blog. I don’t always agree with you but it is nice to read intelligently written statements.
thanks for your sympathy. x
I disagree with your opinion of Dr Drew. I agree that Jill did the bulk of the therapy, but HE chose to have her there. He didn’t try to do it alone and I think he deserves respect for that. His function is as a producer and advocate and you describe him fulfilling those roles well. Do you think there would have been a sex rehab show if Jill had pitched it to VH1? Drew deserves credit, in my less-than-humble opinion, for getting this show on the air where it will help others. Celebrity drug rehab is sexy. Ironically, sex addiction, not so sexy to TV executives. If it wasn’t for Dr Drew’s track record this show would not have been done.
Well, God Bless America that we can have opposing views! However, I agree with most of what you write and especially that Drew deserves credit for making the sex rehab happen. As you seem to know about the process and behind the scenes of making the show you will also know that I am incredibly fond of Drew. He changed my life-however, I think that Jill should have been allowed to share Drew’s lime light. Is that unfair? Certainly within the sober community Drug Rehab was perceived as a total joke. Sex rehab has redeemed the brand in so many ways not least because of Jill and the bravery of every one of us in the show. Recovery is based essentially in the power of one addict helping another. Simple. There was no TV when Bill W started AA and it grew without the so called help of TV doctors. SAA is the same. It will grow regardless due to the suffering it inflicts on the addict.
Yeah I jumped to defend him and should have given you credit for a broader view. I also agree that there is no end to the amount of credit due Jill.
BTW, I see that Cari Ann is in the cast list for the next Drug Rehab show.
I just want to tell you thank you. Thank you for coming into my living room and showing me that no matter what happened to me as a child I need to face it head on and not let it control my life. I think that Oprah and Tyra made a very bad choice not to have you on their shows. No matter your sexuality you are a human being. You bleed when cut, cry when hurt, and smile when happy. I agree that the people who edit these kind of shows think the viewers want to see antics like Keri-Anns. Although there may be some viewers that tune in to see that kind of stuff but a lot of them, like me, tune in to understand about a very real, very hush hush addiction. I don’t pity you at all but sometimes I feel as though Dr. Drew puts on a pity face. I admire your courage to put your life out there for all to see. Thank you for being you! I know it may be hard at times but you should feel really good about yourself because if this show can help even ONE person it’s worth it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Small Town Iowa Girl
I did an eating disorder rehab in Summer 2008 in Towson Md and watching Sex Rehab, the character I find most intriguing (Kari Ann) reminds me of the one in my own rehab who annoyed me the must (to the point of me verbally attacking her in a community meeting) which has been very enlightening for me. I think I may contact and apologize to that person now…. we may have more in common than I realized. Best Wishes Duncan, I love your blog!
All this and you knit too?? Brilliant 😀
Duncan, My comment is not really related to any one particular post you have made, but rather, to let you know how much I respected your views on that show. You were the only one, well, maybe besides Phil Varone, that had any real common sense. You were so humble and down to earth about your addiction and your understanding of it. I am 46, married mother of two girls ages 13 and 10. I was abused physically, verbally and emotionalm by my Dad. Then I looked to the wrong kind of man in my early love life, had a gun held to me, my car windshield shot out and so on…… My addiction is alcohol. Oh, my Dad was a alcoholic as well. I wish I had a friend like you, someone who understands the addiction. Life is way too short to let it be ruled by negativity. Wishing you the best in your present and your future….Pat in Virginia
I have 2 things to say
TOXIC RACIST BITCH!!!!
I just couldn’t believe that in 2010 anyone with that kind of language and or behavior would be on television.
Just so you know, NO feminist would ever think that anything about Kari Ann’s life or behavior is empowering (except for her attempts to get help). There is nothing feminist about sex that is damaging, exploitative, or harmful.
HI Duncan! I don’t have a tv, so I watched all of the episodes online a few days ago. I totally see how the show had to be edited, and the way it’s done is just to create a narrative and a storyline with suspense and excitement and what not. It seemed valuable to you, and really, that’s all that matters. I thought you all were just so courageous, and continue to be in order to support your own health.
I was just so proud of you.
I also noticed a few times that you were knitting in groups 😀
Are you on ravelry? http://www.ravelry.com There are tons of great patterns.